greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Hi all, Just wanted a perspective on an element of OLD. I would consider myself to be a good looking guy,intelligent, polite etc. On OLD, especially POF I come across profiles from women who will say things like 'rescue me from this site'or 'give me a genuine guy' etc. You send them a polite heartfelt message with a genuine interest and what response..nothing. Time after time. OLD can be such a frustrating platform at times. People I know tend to be ultra picky and yet they say they want to meet a guy but you hear nothing. I know women get bombarded on OLD with daily messages etc but i've searched POF as a 'female seeking a guy' just to see the types of guys and I just don't see why I don't get responses..
Larryville Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 You send them a polite heartfelt message with a genuine interest and what response..nothing. Time after time. Let me just be blunt, stop sending "heartfelt" messages. In many cases most women in tuned enough can see the BS from a mile away. Do you actually believe you are the FIRST "nice kind guy" to send a "heartfelt" message to a woman and have her get seriously burned. Get real typical OLD. You are paying the price in most cases for past bad behavior, live with it our get off OLD! 2
Silverstring Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 OLD is only frustrating if your expectations are unrealistic. You have no idea what is going on with any woman that you message. You don't know her type. You don't know if she's only showing up online because she's currently messaging back and forth with another guy that she's interested in. You don't know if she's genuinely looking for a relationship, or just browsing out of boredom. Etc. etc. etc. Taking non-interest personally will get you nowhere. Someone isn't interested, move on. It's just a numbers games. Don't even put any emotional investment into it until AFTER you've met someone in person. And even then, keep it realistic. 5
Miss Peach Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) I would suggest using something in the profile to send some sort of banter to increase attraction. Looking at it from the other side, women get guy after guy saying 'pick me'. Most have really bland profiles so if I'm looking at guy A and guy B, I often can't figure out who I should give the date to and don't have the time to date all the guys. I know a lot of women's profiles don't give you much to work off of and men often don't want to spend a lot of time on it but it can be short and still get a woman's attention. One of my male friends has an 80% response rate without a picture but he is really good at coming up with short, witty messages. So my advice is to make yourself different in a non-creepy way. Part of it is a numbers game because not everyone on the site will be ready to date, have the time, etc., but looking different and fun unlike the other 100 guys will help you get the date if you have a shot at it IMO. Other than that, if she lists deal breakers, etc. then don't message her if you have any of them. This is the first thing I look for and it's amazing how many men look at the picture and will have things in their profiles that don't work for me. Like a man may have a 'I hate kids" line and then message a single mom looking for a LTR. You won't get a response no matter how good your stuff is IME. Edited April 26, 2017 by Miss Peach
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 Let me just be blunt, stop sending "heartfelt" messages. In many cases most women in tuned enough can see the BS from a mile away. Do you actually believe you are the FIRST "nice kind guy" to send a "heartfelt" message to a woman and have her get seriously burned. Get real typical OLD. You are paying the price in most cases for past bad behavior, live with it our get off OLD! I think you have misinterpreted what I meant by heartfelt - with the greatest amount of respect... When I mean by heartfelt in this example... I am not referring to gushy, BS type stuff that women can 'sense' a mile off . Jeez, I'm not stupid. I am actually referring to a simple and polite message that is all. Trust me I am not paying by the price for any past behaviour.
Lilyana76 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 When you send a message.. always send something that states you read her profile and you want to find out more about HER. Never send the generic "Hi how are you" or "hey sexy"... blah.. makes me cringe when a man would send me that. I wouldn't respond. I normally responded only to the messages that opened up with something interesting, or a joke. Or asking a further question about something they read in my profile. It just signifies they want to know more about me, and have a sense of humor.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Let me just be blunt, stop sending "heartfelt" messages. In many cases most women in tuned enough can see the BS from a mile away. Do you actually believe you are the FIRST "nice kind guy" to send a "heartfelt" message to a woman and have her get seriously burned. Get real typical OLD. You are paying the price in most cases for past bad behavior, live with it our get off OLD! Yup! When I started OLD a few years ago, I tried the suggestion given by many ladies to send a meaningful message or be ignored. Well, for one, if you're good looking enough, etc. you don't have to say much to these very same ladies to get a response. I did a non-scientific test based on my own messaging experiences. After having roughly estimated the number of response I had received by sending thought-out messages for some time, I decided to simply send out messages that were essentially copy/paste and brief. I found that I actually got a few more responses from my terse messages than from the longer ones. :-D The difference that I have seen is my profile details. I have found that the more I showcase myself, the better. When the ladies say that they want to get off the site, blah, blah, blah, well, don't take it to mean that they are looking for any nice guy that happens to come along. Their standards typically have not changed. Don't take it as desperation for the most part. You may want to readdress your profile? Pics?
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 OLD is only frustrating if your expectations are unrealistic. You have no idea what is going on with any woman that you message. You don't know her type. You don't know if she's only showing up online because she's currently messaging back and forth with another guy that she's interested in. You don't know if she's genuinely looking for a relationship, or just browsing out of boredom. Etc. etc. etc. Taking non-interest personally will get you nowhere. Someone isn't interested, move on. It's just a numbers games. Don't even put any emotional investment into it until AFTER you've met someone in person. And even then, keep it realistic. Thanks - I understand all that - I have used OLD several times before and I know/understand/appreciate the numbers game/emotional investment/ it isn't 'real' until you've met aspect of it. my post was referring to the fact that women all over pof bemoan the lack of 'genuine' men. Here is a list of things most women put on profiles to support my point: I'm not here for hook-ups / one-nighters I want a genuine man no liars no cheaters Read my profile! Don't send me rude pics etc. These appear on virtually every female on pof. Yet when a genuine man gets in touch they miss the opportunity.... 1
SwordofFlame Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 A lot of women on OLD don't really use it seriously. They have no intention to ever meet someone. This is especially this case if it's a free site. 1
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 When you send a message.. always send something that states you read her profile and you want to find out more about HER. Never send the generic "Hi how are you" or "hey sexy"... blah.. makes me cringe when a man would send me that. I wouldn't respond. I normally responded only to the messages that opened up with something interesting, or a joke. Or asking a further question about something they read in my profile. It just signifies they want to know more about me, and have a sense of humor. Thanks - to be fair I genuinely know how to compose an opening message. I am always polite - never derogatory i.e. NEVER used the phrase Hey sexy you have nice xxxxx or whatever. I often ask questions, ones that prove I have read her profile. On a footnote - virtually all the messages I get from women on pof read as follows I got one today which simply said: Hi. That was it - so to be fair it kinda works both ways... 1
coolheadal Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Hi all, Just wanted a perspective on an element of OLD. I would consider myself to be a good looking guy,intelligent, polite etc. On OLD, especially POF I come across profiles from women who will say things like 'rescue me from this site'or 'give me a genuine guy' etc. You send them a polite heartfelt message with a genuine interest and what response..nothing. Time after time. OLD can be such a frustrating platform at times. People I know tend to be ultra picky and yet they say they want to meet a guy but you hear nothing. I know women get bombarded on OLD with daily messages etc but i've searched POF as a 'female seeking a guy' just to see the types of guys and I just don't see why I don't get responses.. I am not fan of POF, but I do like the OKC world. There women are not as easy as everyone thinks. I have one message that I use to get them to respond back quickly. As it's to they're best interest. Then you can work your way into their mind because they already know what type of man you are. I still run into Married and going through a divorce some of these women have 4 kids and the husband still in the house. I try to avoid such women who want their cake and have there pie on the side. LOL
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Thanks - I understand all that - I have used OLD several times before and I know/understand/appreciate the numbers game/emotional investment/ it isn't 'real' until you've met aspect of it. my post was referring to the fact that women all over pof bemoan the lack of 'genuine' men. Here is a list of things most women put on profiles to support my point: I'm not here for hook-ups / one-nighters I want a genuine man no liars no cheaters Read my profile! Don't send me rude pics etc. These appear on virtually every female on pof. Yet when a genuine man gets in touch they miss the opportunity.... Yup! :-D You're not good enough looking (or tall enough)! :-) People don't want to sound shallow, so they often leave out such details. Some will tell you straight up tell you of their minimum height requirement. I saw a profile of a 5'1 lady who will not date anyone shorter than 6'0! She says that she will not respond if you are, that is. I'm short, so I often joke that I won't date anyone over 5'4 and say that it's a just preference. Ha. Anyway, I haven't had too many problems getting responses. I am preparing to relocate to the North and in a very conservative part of the country and I'm getting responses. OLD can be funny.
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 A lot of women on OLD don't really use it seriously. They have no intention to ever meet someone. This is especially this case if it's a free site. That is a good point - I chatted to a women the other day on POF who is constantly 'online' she has never had a date in 2 years. She openly admitted she just chats to guys because she is lonely.. Needless to say - I moved on from the chat...
coolheadal Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Yup! :-D You're not good enough looking (or tall enough)! :-) People don't want to sound shallow, so they often leave out such details. Some will tell you straight up tell you of their minimum height requirement. I saw a profile of a 5'1 lady who will not date anyone shorter than 6'0! She says that she will not respond if you are, that is. I'm short, so I often joke that I won't date anyone over 5'4 and say that it's a just preference. Ha. Anyway, I haven't had too many problems getting responses. I am preparing to relocate to the North and in a very conservative part of the country and I'm getting responses. OLD can be funny. My first OLD the girl was taller than me over 6'0. I am tall myself but not 6'0. Women will say anything today when it comes to OLD. The stories the dreaded "maybe" or "too busy" some of the buzz words they love to use on men. Just a simple YES or NO would be ideal! LOL
Silverstring Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 My post was referring to the fact that women all over pof bemoan the lack of 'genuine' men. Here is a list of things most women put on profiles to support my point: I'm not here for hook-ups / one-nighters I want a genuine man no liars no cheaters Read my profile! Don't send me rude pics etc. These appear on virtually every female on pof. Yet when a genuine man gets in touch they miss the opportunity.... Again there's no way you can know they miss the opportunity. They might be messaging and dating lots of genuine men. Or men that appear genuine at least..
Lilyana76 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Another thing. I put on my profile that I don't want to date a smoker, so when I get a message I read their profile, if I see they are a smoker I do not respond. Or, If I read on their profile that they are not looking for a commitment, I wouldn't respond. So maybe these women see something on your profile that they know would be a deal breaker? Don't take a lack of a response as a negative thing... and by the way, not everyone bases things on looks on OLD sites. I never did, I met a variety of men, some I wouldn't have otherwise gave a second look to if I had just seen them out and about. And they were, for the most part, nice men. (a few not so charming ones, long stories lol) 2
coolheadal Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) Another thing. I put on my profile that I don't want to date a smoker, so when I get a message I read their profile, if I see they are a smoker I do not respond. Or, If I read on their profile that they are not looking for a commitment, I wouldn't respond. So maybe these women see something on your profile that they know would be a deal breaker? Don't take a lack of a response as a negative thing... and by the way, not everyone bases things on looks on OLD sites. I never did, I met a variety of men, some I wouldn't have otherwise gave a second look to if I had just seen them out and about. And they were, for the most part, nice men. (a few not so charming ones, long stories lol) Doesn't matter what you tell them on your profile they're not reading everything. The only thing that is important is your face and body. Most just read the first line about you to get idea who you are. In the picture you should have something you like or close too. Then the guy or girl would pick-up your love your dog, you love your surfboard. Smoking, Drinking and Drugs hey all can say no and they all can lie about their ages. No legal answer to keep it from being a complete lie. Some would say "HEY I COME ON HERE FOR FUN AND SEE WHO'S NEW" Right there they told you not serious and just want to chat with new bodies only online.. Edited April 26, 2017 by coolheadal
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 Again there's no way you can know they miss the opportunity. They might be messaging and dating lots of genuine men. Or men that appear genuine at least.. Not in all cases. I recognise the ones that disappear and then come back. Some women are very open and change their profile to actually confirm what happened and in some cases sound pretty hurt.
Lilyana76 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I guess thats why OLD didn't work out well for me... I actually read about the person and messaged if I wanted to know them better. I could have cared less about pictures myself, it was about me getting out there and meeting people after a long marriage and recent divorce. I even met a couple guys that had no pictures on their profile. I have never met an ogre, or someone so ugly I would have run the other direction upon seeing them either. Maybe I'm set up weird, I don't know. But I quickly discovered OLD wasn't for me, and now prefer to join groups or volunteer more to meet people.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Doesn't matter what you tell them on your profile they're not reading everything. The only thing that is important is your face and body. I am communicating with a lady who asked me from where I was moving. If she had read my profile beyond the first paragraph, it clearly states where I am currently. Yup, many ladies also complain that men don't read the profiles. Many ladies also do not read the entire profile.
coolheadal Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I guess thats why OLD didn't work out well for me... I actually read about the person and messaged if I wanted to know them better. I could have cared less about pictures myself, it was about me getting out there and meeting people after a long marriage and recent divorce. I even met a couple guys that had no pictures on their profile. I have never met an ogre, or someone so ugly I would have run the other direction upon seeing them either. Maybe I'm set up weird, I don't know. But I quickly discovered OLD wasn't for me, and now prefer to join groups or volunteer more to meet people. Trust me I am not judgmental and dated women without photo. They mystery awaits me when you finally see them in person. OLD is like taking long essay assignment. Not for everyone. I use when I need too. I just look for new bodies because the old ones have so much mental emotion issues. Why don't they smile in their picture. Why would you put up a picture just showing the back of your head. Odd ways they go about. New bodies are better because they are so new to OLD they have no clue what they want yet? I've dated those as well.
Author greenicon Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 Another thing. I put on my profile that I don't want to date a smoker, so when I get a message I read their profile, if I see they are a smoker I do not respond. Or, If I read on their profile that they are not looking for a commitment, I wouldn't respond. So maybe these women see something on your profile that they know would be a deal breaker? Don't take a lack of a response as a negative thing... and by the way, not everyone bases things on looks on OLD sites. I never did, I met a variety of men, some I wouldn't have otherwise gave a second look to if I had just seen them out and about. And they were, for the most part, nice men. (a few not so charming ones, long stories lol) Sure I agree. My profile has got 'I want a relationship' in all the relevant areas. My pics are good, varied. Me, me and friends to prove I am a normal and sociable person. I am getting to the point where it's not just a case of an OLD issue. It's a society issue as well. A fall out of the throwaway and disposable society we all have to live with today.. 2
Lilyana76 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I hear you, I often joke that I was born in the wrong era! I despise OLD, won't go back to it again. At least thats what I tell myself.... Then I have a day where I'm feeling exceptionally lonely and say.. what the hell I'll try it again... only to cancel it again two days later when I remember why I stopped it in the first place.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Sure I agree. My profile has got 'I want a relationship' in all the relevant areas. My pics are good, varied. Me, me and friends to prove I am a normal and sociable person. I am getting to the point where it's not just a case of an OLD issue. It's a society issue as well. A fall out of the throwaway and disposable society we all have to live with today.. Yes........
coolheadal Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I am communicating with a lady who asked me from where I was moving. If she had read my profile beyond the first paragraph, it clearly states where I am currently. Yup, many ladies also complain that men don't read the profiles. Many ladies also do not read the entire profile. Think of that profile as clues to who they want and what they're into. That's how you contact them second time when they seem interested. They're only interested in you not what you like, but you. I had one the other day asked me about my JOB. It was like an interview of a NEW JOB. She later turned out to be just having FUN on OLD. Like I said that profile has some keywords/buzz words that you can use back on them. Well that's if they actually wrote their profile themselves.
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