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Ghosted before even meeting in person? Whatsup?


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Posted

So this fella (met OLD) and I have been texting for about 2 weeks and planned to meet for coffee to gauge mutual physical attraction. I've seen his photos and him mine. So far, so good. He seems sweet and attentive.

 

He left me a Whatsapp voicemail the other day so I can hear his voice. (We've been texting) Again, thoughtful and sweet. I made a comment about how hearing his voice made him more real. Two days before the coffee date to meet he replies " So your msg had me thinking. How do I even know you are who you say you are?"

 

I didn't think too much on it.

 

So since I hadn't from him by yesterday afternoon (we're suppose to meet for coffee today) I send a text, hoping his day was going well and that I was looking forward to meeting.

 

No reply.

 

I send another text with similar context in the evening. No reply.

Both msgs were read (double blue ticks)

 

What's up? Oh wise LS lovely people.

 

The lad can tell a girl anything, as long as he says something.

 

Why ghost a girl before evening meeting? Did I say anything that was that inflammatory? I personally didn't think so.

 

For reference, we are both in our very early 40's.

Posted

It could be a number of things. Right when I read the comment about him asking if you're real, I thought of one word, manipulative. He wanted you to send a picture or your voice perhaps? Is there anything that would have indicated you were fake?

 

 

You can't take this stuff personally, SO many reasons why he would have done this... to name a few:

 

 

1. he may have a girlfriend

2. HE is the one that is using fake images/catfishing

3. Talking to someone else he preferred

4. Disappeared off the face of the earth

 

 

....who knows. He saved you time by revealing he was a dick before you spent travel time..

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)

From your last thread you wrote yesterday you said you had a boyfriend. What gives? ARE you misrepresenting yourself as single when you aren't.

 

If he did find out that you are in a relationship (e.g., social media), then his ghosting you would be entirely appropriate and quite deservec.

 

To answer this question in the general sense, ghosting is rude behaviour indeed. The guy just felt like not showing up for the date, due to anything happening on his end, and decided it would be easier not to tell you. As a general comment, appreciate ghosters because they save you time. They show you just how immature they are, without you having to bother w even a date.

Edited by Imajerk17
  • Like 3
Posted
From your last thread you wrote yesterday you said you had a boyfriend. What gives? ARE you misrepresenting yourself as single when you aren't.

 

If he did find out that you are in a relationship (e.g., social media), then his ghosting you would be entirely appropriate and quite deservec.

 

To answer this question in the general sense, ghosting is rude behaviour indeed. The guy just felt like not showing up for the date, due to anything happening on his end, and decided it would be easier not to tell you. As a general comment, appreciate ghosters because they save you time. They show you just how immature they are, without you having to bother w even a date.

 

 

 

You did mention in your last post you have a boyfriend....

Posted

You know what? He's probably saying that to you and putting that on you because that is what HE is doing. Catfish will exchange fake photos all day long.

Posted

I think you were catfished IMO.

Posted

Sounds like a catfish.

 

Had the same thing happen to me, except I got stood up. Probably was a scammer or someone who was only wanting to be electronic pen pals.

  • Author
Posted

I do have a boyfriend with whom I'm casually dating (non-exclusive)

Posted
I do have a boyfriend with whom I'm casually dating (non-exclusive)

 

This new guy may have picked up on that by something you innocuously said...

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)
I do have a boyfriend with whom I'm casually dating (non-exclusive)

 

Well, most new guys would not want to meet up with you if they knew you had this arrangement--that there already is someone else in your life you call a boyfriend, even if it is an open relationship of sorts.

 

So if he is able to glean (either from social media or even you telling him) that you have this arrangement w someone else, then that would make him ghost--and rightfully so.

 

Even otherwise, this sounds to me to be a good hit by the Karma Bus. You would have been misleading New Guy and wasting his time anyway.

Edited by Imajerk17
  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted

New guy knows about my dating arrangement. He's three years out from a divorce, has a busy job and prefers something casual himself.

Posted
New guy knows about my dating arrangement. He's three years out from a divorce, has a busy job and prefers something casual himself.

 

He may say that to get through the conversation, but he may not really mean that upon further reflection after the conversation.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Sure. I reckon it's possible.

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