hossred Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 (edited) Delete this thread. PC messed up. Made anew. Respond to the thread "Question about dating, sex, and relationships" instead, please. Edited April 25, 2017 by hossred
spiderowl Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 Interesting! From the sound of it you are a very attractive guy. Lots of guys would be dying to be in your position, having a choice of attractive women to have sex with. However, I have not missed the point of your posting. It seems you are suffering from the same thing that many pretty women suffer from. Guys show a great deal of interest, are keen to escalate towards sex, but do not seem to be thinking in terms of a relationship. Basically, they are drawn like moths to a flame. It does not mean there is any depth in what they are doing. It seems what you are doing is trying to weed out those who are only in it for sex. You want to know you mean something to a girl - and of course it is hugely important to you. With the right girl, you will need to escalate things to sex within a reasonable amount of time - say a few dates - otherwise she is going to assume you are not physically attracted to her. She may also wonder if you are attracted to women at all. It is hard for people to understand that a guy/girl who is extremely attracted will not be looking for sex with other attractive guys/girls. So, to weed them out, focus on a girl's personality. Is she kind, fun, does she show understanding and empathy? If so, then court her, make her feel attractive, kiss her, tell her how much you want her (without pressuring her). Build the sexual attraction whilst at the same time paying attention to personality. I think you could be confusing women by trying to build a long relationship first. It is possible to do that, of course, but some women might think you have friendzoned them. There must be a balance here between treating them as friends for a long time and showing them you find them sexually attractive too. It is also possible that, being an attractive guy, you are focusing on very attractive women. They may rely on their looks to get a guy and may even be quite shallow, though obviously not every attractive woman is shallow. Pay attention to the kind of women you are spending your time with. You might find that someone less physically attractive has a more interesting personality and might take you more seriously. Pretty women are used to being hit on and tend to assume that every guy just wants them in bed. In fact, those same women may assume you are a player who only wants casual sex and therefore they daren't get emotionally attached to you. They may be playing it cool and keeping their feelings under wraps.
Author hossred Posted April 25, 2017 Author Posted April 25, 2017 Hey, thanks for responding. I'm trying to get the original post back up there; my PC got messed up, and it won't let me edit it again. For now I made a new thread, with the same message, under "Question about dating, sex, and relationships", which has the same message you responded to before I edited this thread. Bah. But what you say makes a lot of sense, and I think you are right. But I let these girls know through behaviors and things that I'm still interested all throughout. They know. I'm sure of it. Or maybe they think I'm just playing a game and stringing them along? You make very strong points. Maybe I should find a better balance, and escalate things physically. Yes, they might think I'm gay. Lol. These are very attractive women, yes. They have issues and fears, as well. But it doesn't seem like we communicate "us", and how that relates to these things, or how we can reassure each other better. But it's like we're in the dating phase forever, and can't get to that point. Then again, we couldn't reassure each other about a relationship in the cards if we are already in one, and communicating "us", eh? So confusing. Maybe I should just go for it. What I've been doing obviously hasn't been working for nothing. Thanks for your response. Hopefully I can re-edit the OP, if the staff members respond to my message.
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