I feel like an alien in this planet...

[Blanco]

You posted last year about how you were still living at home, and didn't want to move out because you were going to be getting a job somewhere else soon. How is that going?

 

Your posts suggest you're probably at least in you're mid-30s. Living at home at that age is going to be difficult on your self-esteem, even if you have a good relationship with your parents.

 

I moved back home after college for a couple of years, and while the financial break was nice, it was a bit emasculating and kept me in a state of arrested development. I didn't feel like a real adult. I've been back out on my own for many years now, and while there's a lot less money to go around because of rent and the associated costs of living alone, the peace of mind being back out on my own has been worth it.

[Springsummer]

You posted last year about how you were still living at home, and didn't want to move out because you were going to be getting a job somewhere else soon. How is that going?

 

Your posts suggest you're probably at least in you're mid-30s. Living at home at that age is going to be difficult on your self-esteem, even if you have a good relationship with your parents.

 

I moved back home after college for a couple of years, and while the financial break was nice, it was a bit emasculating and kept me in a state of arrested development. I didn't feel like a real adult. I've been back out on my own for many years now, and while there's a lot less money to go around because of rent and the associated costs of living alone, the peace of mind being back out on my own has been worth it.

 

Turns out I am working in the same city now. The work place and people are the best I have ever worked with.

 

guess I really need to move out. even I have a low rate, but still making hundreds of dollars a day. but I just frugal...I pay all the expenses. you know 4 rooms in the house, but only my parents, I don't want to waste money...but I guess I have to for my own sanity.

[Springsummer]

I'm sorry you have been disappointed by this guy. Life is full of disappointments and obstacles, but if you don't always focus on just one person you're hoping will be the answer to your prayers and just open your eyes and go outside and stop living in your head long enough to see what a beautiful world it is, you will feel better and he will seem small in comparison. He is just one guy in a billion. He isn't who you hoped he'd be. Most people aren't. That ideal person in your head doesn't really exist, but many others do who you'd be happy getting to know if you didn't let yourself skip all the steps.

 

Try to relax and just get to know people. No one is going to appear and just be ready to jump right into being your perfect partner. Try to enjoy the journey.

 

Go do things that make you happy. Instead of watching Joel, watch some movie that makes you laugh. Mine is "16 Candles," an old 80s film, and "Reno 911," a tv series that's hilarious. Just do something to remind yourself of the good things in life.

 

No one will magically just come along and fix your unhappiness. You need to work on that first before you are ready to find a nice partner. You need to do whatever it takes to learn to be happy with just yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can anyone else? Do fun things. Now.

 

Thank you for your kinds words and consolation.

 

I think that's the therapy I need. God bless you and others who try to help me.

 

the free mental hotline worker hung up on me as soon as I told her I am not going to kill myself. and my couple of friends were nowhere to be found. I guess no one want to near a depressed and unhappy person.

[preraph]

Tell me about it.

 

I just came back from 1-2 hours of country roads driving outside of the city. It was all dark. As I was writing the posts here, I bro called saying dad's old van struck in the farm/field after the rain. I called roadside assistance. The towing guy came and then refused to help coz the car wasn't on the road and auto club doesn't include that and then he gave me his buz card saying he own another business that can help for $800. anyway I just took his card(not going to use him, everyone is trying to make a big buck these day.

 

I was/am in distress, and yet I had to get my ass up to help very late at night(11pm here).

 

Today after work, I also talked to the recruiter trying to get higher rate(my superior told me I have the lowest rate among consultants) after I got an extension for my contract with the client, with no success.

 

Isn't life fun? countless time in life, I felt been on the edges and hell and then back.

 

Life is just full of hurdles, and you have to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid things that tear you down emotionally and deal with any vulnerabilities you have that make you crumble, because you have to be strong and also find the good in life in order to be motivated to fight the often daily fight. No man is going to fix that for you. It's just life. You don't even know the half of it until you have kids, and then you see your hurdles increase tenfold. So you have to fortify yourself and enjoy the good times and work on anything that makes you vulnerable. And always weigh your choices and course of action. Don't just let life blow you in this direction or that or into a bad man's arms. You have more control over your life than anyone and you have to steer the ship.

[mikeylo]

You need therapy.

 

Maybe he didn't talk about his gf because he didn't want to get too personal with you. Not everyone goes around telling everyone about their relationship status. Now he could have sensed that you are changing the course of interactions, so he told to avoid any misunderstandings. Not his fault. He is taken, off limits. This is why many men and women don't even have casual conversations with opposite sex. It can be misinterpreted as romantic interest.

 

Next time you talk to a guy, ask upfront.

[wmacbride]

Life is too damn hard.

 

I don't know the first thing about life after all my life.

 

I don't know what to live for? what's the meaning of life? why am I exist? What is the happiness of living?

 

why is everything turns out to be a joke in life? so ironic?

 

Life has no meaning. It's so empty and alone.

 

I don't know if this will help or not, but both my daughters are drop dead gorgeous but have no interest in any sort of romantic relationship. That's not to say they are unfriendly or cold, just that they have other priorities.

 

In spite of what some might think, there is nothing wrong with being on your own.

 

The other questions you asked have been asked since human first climbed down from the trees. So far, no answer.

 

You do sound like you are in a lot of emotional pain. Have you considered getting some face to face counseling to talk all this out?

[GunslingerRoland]

Personally I think you need more help than this forum can give you. Even if you aren't suicidal you have strong thoughts that aren't normal or healthy and need to work on them.

 

You seem to have this expectation that the world should revolve around you. That every man should be sitting around single waiting for you to choose them and if they don't they are doing something vile and horrible.

 

Everyone is off living their own life on their own path. Most are trying to find love or at least some form of companionship. You are just one person doing the same, and so I think you need to get off your pedestal, realize you are just one person out of 7 billion, and meet real men with real histories and real flaws, and let them see you and your history and your flaws, and try to find someone who you are compatible with.

[Sweetfish]

You need therapy.

 

Maybe he didn't talk about his gf because he didn't want to get too personal with you. Not everyone goes around telling everyone about their relationship status. Now he could have sensed that you are changing the course of interactions, so he told to avoid any misunderstandings. Not his fault. He is taken, off limits. This is why many men and women don't even have casual conversations with opposite sex. It can be misinterpreted as romantic interest.

 

Next time you talk to a guy, ask upfront.

 

 

anyone here that suggest therapy or help has been ignored and its up to the OP what they want to do. I agree there are issues..but only taking comfort in what they want to hear or feels good to them.

[Springsummer]

You need therapy.

 

Maybe he didn't talk about his gf because he didn't want to get too personal with you. Not everyone goes around telling everyone about their relationship status. Now he could have sensed that you are changing the course of interactions, so he told to avoid any misunderstandings. Not his fault. He is taken, off limits. This is why many men and women don't even have casual conversations with opposite sex. It can be misinterpreted as romantic interest.

 

Next time you talk to a guy, ask upfront.

 

You couldn't be more wrong about this.

 

He started the conversation last time by asking that I really like my phone. turned out his phone was cracked too. so I said oh I have company...balala...finally I asked him how he cracked it, only then he said my GF, and then he said 'she is terrible'...now who the hell know what terrible really means.

 

He was VERY wrong...I made a facially expression...I wasn't even faced him, I face my computer...but he noticed and was very amused and delighted and laugh so wholeheartedly at that... and later was so very static when he saw me at the elevator and telling him I am going to the couches to work. no idea why that elated him so much.

 

I was touched that someone pay attention to my expression and can make someone so happy.

 

the only course of interactions I changed was that I haven't shown any interest.

 

Let me tell you, I can tell, generally men don't say no, regardless if they have gf or not.

 

It seems to me, men generally think gf are replaceable...that's why they are gf, not wives. and most love to have side piece...and I don't like that about a man. I find that disgusting, even at the same time I was attracted to them.

 

damn, a man kiss and sleep with another woman and then touch me? I find that gross.

 

I guess I am just too idealistic and puritanical in this earthly world.

[Springsummer]

I am all good now. Don't worry I am a survivor. after all, I have been so many in life, I can't quit now. so I only try my best to live better.

 

before the revelation, my superior asked me to move floor to be closed to the people I work with...I was torn...I was thinking maybe I could move days later?... so as soon as I learnt that, then I was gone next day. no more seeing him on a daily basis.

 

how interesting are things developing?

[Sweetfish]

You couldn't be more wrong about this.

 

He started the conversation last time by asking that I really like my phone. turned out his phone was cracked too. so I said oh I have company...balala...finally I asked him how he cracked it, only then he said my GF, and then he said 'she is terrible'...now who the hell know what terrible really means.

 

He was VERY wrong...I made a facially expression...I wasn't even faced him, I face my computer...but he noticed and was very amused and delighted and laugh so wholeheartedly at that... and later was so very static when he saw me at the elevator and telling him I am going to the couches to work. no idea why that elated him so much.

 

I was touched that someone pay attention to my expression and can make someone so happy.

 

the only course of interactions I changed was that I haven't shown any interest.

 

Let me tell you, I can tell, generally men don't say no, regardless if they have gf or not.

 

It seems to me, men generally think gf are replaceable...that's why they are gf, not wives. and most love to have side piece...and I don't like that about a man. I find that disgusting, even at the same time I was attracted to them.

 

damn, a man kiss and sleep with another woman and then touch me? I find that gross.

 

I guess I am just too idealistic and puritanical in this earthly world.

 

Lmaooooo. You are kidding me right?

 

Your belief system is that you are pure or at least all women are pure.

 

Yes.. you have a serious problem to resolve

Edited April 28, 2017 by Sweetfish

[Chilli]

I am strange...as soon as I found out a guy has a gf, I immediately feel he is like dirt to me. unlike some women...

 

I guess I am just too puritanical ...I want a guy who will wait for the right person, aka...me.

 

so I guess indeed no one is made for me in this world. God doesn't exist after all...as much as I want to believe Joel. His messages are so relevant, sometimes I wonder if he is God sent.

 

If it's any consolation , l've never just dated dated dated like seems to be the norm these days.

l've always waited for that someone special.

The only relationships l've ever had were what l thought will be a serious long term or marriage.

Yep made a few mistakes and a few didn't work out , you can only try when you think it's right.

If it doesn't work out it doesn't , that's how it goes.

 

Don't worry , there are plenty of people out there that prefer to wait.

There's someone made for everyone , l actually believe there is 2 or 3 made from everyone. They'll be different from each other but in some other way they can be made for us.

 

And true , it is like a market mentality these days but , not for everyone . There are quite a few guy virgins right here on the site for example.

Edited April 28, 2017 by Chilli

[Ronni_W]

I don't know what to live for? what's the meaning of life? why am I exist? What is the happiness of living?

Hi Springsummer.

 

I’m sorry that you’ve been experiencing so much inner turmoil and confusion. Your determination to get to the bottom of it is very much commended.

 

I agree with you that the more traditional sources for spiritual/religious knowledge and understanding are severely lacking and are, within themselves, contradictory and incoherent. How are we to accept or have ‘faith’ in or take hope from something that doesn’t make sense even to our linear minds?

 

Given that you are open to spiritual Teachings, I would offer the following that you maybe want to consider:

 

• The Way of Liberation is a short PDF based on the Zen/Bhuddist tradition.
  
• Why You Took on Limitations on Earth
  
• Why Difficulties Can Be Blessings in Disguise - particularly, the sub-sections entitled ‘Why many spiritual people experience difficulties in life’.
  
• Is God an angry and judgmental God and are current conditions on Earth God’s punishment for our sins?
  

The last three are articles in the vein of those published at SpiritLibrary.com – if these fit in with your present philosophy/belief system – or even if you’re just open to reading them for sake of a potential source for further knowledge – you might find them enjoyable or interesting.

 

Sending you much Love and Light - and hope and courage - for your personal journey. .

[Springsummer]

Hi Springsummer.

 

I’m sorry that you’ve been experiencing so much inner turmoil and confusion. Your determination to get to the bottom of it is very much commended.

 

I agree with you that the more traditional sources for spiritual/religious knowledge and understanding are severely lacking and are, within themselves, contradictory and incoherent. How are we to accept or have ‘faith’ in or take hope from something that doesn’t make sense even to our linear minds?

 

Given that you are open to spiritual Teachings, I would offer the following that you maybe want to consider:

 

• The Way of Liberation is a short PDF based on the Zen/Bhuddist tradition.
  
• Why You Took on Limitations on Earth
  
• Why Difficulties Can Be Blessings in Disguise - particularly, the sub-sections entitled ‘Why many spiritual people experience difficulties in life’.
  
• Is God an angry and judgmental God and are current conditions on Earth God’s punishment for our sins?
  

The last three are articles in the vein of those published at SpiritLibrary.com – if these fit in with your present philosophy/belief system – or even if you’re just open to reading them for sake of a potential source for further knowledge – you might find them enjoyable or interesting.

 

Sending you much Love and Light - and hope and courage - for your personal journey. .

 

Thank you so much for taking the time and thoughts into helping me. I really appreciate it.

 

I will read them all. Yes, I am interested in philosophy and spirituality, even though I do not really have much time for them.

 

I am really touched.