hobbit89 Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 (edited) I joined an online dating site, and a guy started talking to me last week. We got on really well, and we talked for hours and talked about loads of topics, works what we do outside, what we are interested etc even though he was working, we still chatted. It must have gone well because he gave me his number the next morning to continue on a messaging service to stop delay. that day we spoke all day and well into the early morning (3:30am), again the next day we again spoke all day and through to the early hours (1:30am). On the Saturday I had to work, but we spoke briefly when I got home, however couple of hours in, he saw my message and questions, but didn't reply...he didn't reply the next day either and didn't reply yesterday...so I sent message asking if he was ok and if he is still interested in chatting. He still hasn't replied....I have however noticed he is still going online on the dating site, which I now feel like he is avoiding/ignoring me..... don't know why, because he seemed to be very interested in me and all about me, and I in him in return..he even hinted at me being around for his birthday, and he looked up our star signs to see if were compatiable etc...everything was going really well.. I just don't understand why he just suddenly stopped on me :-?....can anyone shed light on the situation?....Thanks in advance. Edited April 26, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 OLD is a candy store. There is always someone else. You two went waaaaayyyyy over the top in terms of pre-meeting contact. I'd be exhausted. You talk a bit on OLD -- maybe an hour. When you get the phone # you set up an in person meeting (sometimes called a date) & then you go on the date. This constant 24/7 texting nonsense is a waste of time. 9
Chilli Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Know how you feel. From way back when l still haven't forgotten the one that disappeared on me after a lot of the same for 2 or 3 days and some crazy stuff in common. She even asked to meet ,next minute pooffff , gone like a puff of smoke. He might be back, there might be a reason,or maybe someone else he's chatting with that went nowhere or god knows what, but don't hold ya breath.
smackie9 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 The proof isn't in the texting, the proof is in the date. If he isn't asking you out and wanting to get to know you in person...actually doesn't follow through with the date, he isn't excited about you.....he is just wasting your time. 1
smackie9 Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 What's this got to do with men? I agree people in general are flaky.......
The_Thall_Man Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I agree people in general are flaky....... Individuals are flaky. Drop them as fast as you can. Reliable people will be reliable. It'll be self-evident. It's not rocket science. Dunno why people have so much trouble with this. Life lessons 101. 4
selinaluv Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) Individuals are flaky. Drop them as fast as you can. Reliable people will be reliable. It'll be self-evident. It's not rocket science. Dunno why people have so much trouble with this. Life lessons 101. I agree individuals can be flaky, but I am not sure flaky is the right word in this case. They talked for a bit and maybe he changed his mind. It happens all the time. He hadn't asked her out, so there was nothing to flake on yet. It would be nice if he told her he wanted to slow down, but as we know people don't do so and since they haven't met (or even set a date) he really doesn't owe her anything. And I agree it was way too much talking before meeting. I have gotten caught in that trap and learned the hard way. Now I find it just way too tiring and honestly disingenuous. Edited April 26, 2017 by selinaluv 1
The_Thall_Man Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) I agree individuals can be flaky, but I am not sure flaky is the right word in this case. They talked for a bit and maybe he changed his mind. It happens all the time. He hadn't asked her out, so there was nothing to flake on yet. It would be nice if he told her he wanted to slow down, but as we know people don't do so and since they haven't met (or even set a date) he really doesn't owe her anything. And I agree it was way too much talking before meeting. I have gotten caught in that trap and learned the hard way. Now I find it just way too tiring and honestly disingenuous. I got 40% the way through with this and thought, "Too complicated... pass.". Who's 'her'? One at a time, kids. Ain't nobody got time for that. Edited April 26, 2017 by The_Thall_Man
Titanll Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I would have bailed at his checking "star signs" haha! A post above called OLD a candy store. Life is a candy store. Men's way of thinking? I suppose it happens a bit that a guy cuts contact for any number of reasons, I also suppose some women over commit to some meaningless sweet texts and then feel confused when the guy disappears. Since you can't control someone's behavior, I would try to shed some light on your way of thinking. When you are setting next to the guy on a date, then you know that he wants to go on a date with you. Unfortunately, most everything up until that point shouldn't be given much value.
Shining One Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Another possibility: He was keeping you "warm" with communication while he saw how his current prospect(s) worked out. One or more of them escalated to the next phase, so he dropped communication with you.
Gaeta Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Because he had an indigestion of you. I love chocolate but if I eat too much of it to fast I will get disgusted by it and won't be able to even look at it. Same principal with your guy. It's not because a guy wants to talk to you around the clock that you let him. A man likes a little bit of mystery. You give him a little taste just enough to awake his curiosity and you give of yourself a drop at a time. You let him discover you step by step, you don't poor yourself all over him the way you did. 2
TheWoman Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 There are really many reasons why this kind of thing happens. And I have had it done to me, and done it to others. Most likely is that someone else came along and they just liked the look of them more. But it could be something that was said in conversation. Ive had that where something was said, I didnt like it, but politely ignored and then later decided nah. Could be something in real life came up and hes not had time, in which case you will probably hear from him eventually. Although that is unlikely as I think he would have replied to say something in that case. Could be hes not actually single, and was just flirting with no intention of following through, or that girlfriend/wife is now back home. Could be he got freaked out by the intensity and decided you were a love bomber / clinger. Could be anything, best just to move on.... It hard to not get invested in these things, which is why it is easier not to have too much messaging before meeting. 1
Silverstring Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 OLD takes awhile to learn the ins and outs. Lesson #1: Nothing means anything until you've actually met in person. Lesson #2: Nothing ACTUALLY means anything until you're past the honeymoon stage...which is at a minimum six months of exclusive dating... Keep those things in mind and it should put everything into perspective. 6
OnlyHonesty Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 If I got cash for every time I heard this happen, I'd own a mansion. The problem with texting too much before meeting is that it creates a fantasy world, promotes this fantasy, builds it up and keeps it going. Often this fantasy becomes bigger than either person is able to match in real life so someone bails. Next time, keep the texting to a bare minimum and meet as soon as possible. The longer you text and don't meet, the more time you waste. It's a very easy trap to fall into and the more emotional you are, the easier you will fall into it. 3
CarbonCopy Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 This is why online dating sucks. It essentially makes everyone 'disposable' - you get bored or lose interest, then it's on to the next. 5
act00 Posted April 27, 2017 Posted April 27, 2017 I'm also going to agree that there was way too much texting. I don't mind a fair amount, especially if a planned date is a week out, but to text all day and into the morning hours for three days is way too much. And he was texting at work. It's an awful lot. Then when you had to work, you pretty much stopped. Did he feel rejected? I don't know. Maybe he was glad to not have to text all day or maybe he decided you take too much work and he moved on. Maybe he was just tired due to lack of sleep. No one knows. It's better plan a date quickly and talk about these things in person. What more is there to talk about on a date when you've covered everything over three full days and nights of chat?
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