Not sure what's going on regarding 3rd date. What do you think?

[Miss Spider]

As long as she doesn't cancel/postpone next Wednesday then it's okay. If so then I'll just cut all contact.

 

Haha you said that about Sunday! And wasn't she possibly free Sunday? And then all of sudden she had this thing that's been planned that just slipped her mind? Or something like that. Busy or not busy, not buying her excuses. And if she's that busy, why is she dating??? Hmm. And do you wanna date someone you can't see you for such stretches? Maybe

 

Hope you mean it!!!

Edited April 26, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[fmfan08]

No, she definitely knows you are interested lol. That's not the issue. Well, maybe a little, it is. Because oftentimes with people, at the beginning, they like to be kept on their toes. It comes naturally when you aren't overthinking things or making one person your whole focus and it's very attractive. You have options! A challenge...like the one she's giving you. It's annoying but it it isn't taking away your interest in her.

 

I don't think a text will make or break her interest in you. Yes, by distant, I mainly meant flaky!You have been chasing her hard to nail down that 3rd date and she's being polite, but dismissive.

 

I get it's hard when you felt you connected with someone, but it's better to just let go, let be, and not think too much. If they come around, great. But if they can't see how awesome you are, they just aren't the person for you.

 

True. How would I keep a future girl on her toes though? Because what happens is a girl usually reaches out to me 70-80% of the time and I reply with an upbeat jokey text to set the tone of the conversation, then I end it on a high to keep her wanting more (e.g I have to do something, etc).

 

But I do make sure I ask them out instead of just talking.

 

Are you suggesting I shouldn't message her and let her get in touch with me? Or is it okay to reach out tomorrow. I was going to put some intrigue into the message, like hey "I found something interesting that I'm going to show you on Wednesday, exclusive to sidekicks only.."

[fmfan08]

Haha you said that about Sunday! And wasn't she possibly free Sunday? And then all of sudden she had this thing that's been planned that just slipped her mind? Or something like that. Busy or not busy, not buying her excuses. And if she's that busy, why is she dating??? Hmm. And do you wanna date someone you can't see you for such stretches? Maybe

 

Hope you mean it!!!

 

Yeah a family member thought it was odd how she had something planned but it slipped her mind.

 

I'll go on as normal and see if Wednesday works out. If not then it'll annoy me and I'll be deleting her number and also removing her from Facebook because I won't continue to be messed about. For now I'll give the benefit of the doubt. Strike 1 for Tuesdays postponement, strike 2 for her asking if I'm free weekend then suddenly being unavailable for both days.

 

She's accepted Wednesday and had replied with "Sounds good :D" so for now we'll see. If that fails, strike 3. Even if it is a legit excuse on her side, I'll see it as lack of interest and that this would annoy me in a relationship. But benefit of the doubt for now, being it a stressful time with University, etc.

[Knix]

You're trying too hard and you're getting friendzoned.

[fmfan08]

You're trying too hard and you're getting friendzoned.

 

Trying too hard in what way? We keep our texts flirty, use sexual innuendos and try to keep that sort of tone so not sure where I'm getting friendzoned.

 

If she texts, sometimes I can go 2-3 hours without replying because I'm at work. She initiates most of the time and replies back really quickly whereas I can take 20-30 minutes on average because I'm busy with other stuff.

 

It's not as if I've been all over her through our texts (despite acting that way on this forum), from our texting and on the dates she's been all over me, I've just responded to it when she has.

 

It's not as if I've been begging her for the date. She postponed the date and asked ME if i'm free anytime weekend, I gave her offers of late evening on both days but she had plans then. So I just asked her when is she available and she gave me a day, so I just said okay we'll meet at 7 then.

 

I'd say I persisted than tried too hard. I guess because you've seen my reactions and eagerness on here that it looks bad, but I haven't shown her that in person such as trying too hard or desperate.

[curlygirl40]

Ugh. This whole thing exhausts me. lol

 

I read the whole thread but without exact quotes, there was a part where you said something along the lines that you are cool with her and she doesn't see these little freak outs or whatever. Believe me, she can feel it.

 

Even if you think you're being cool with her and only hyper analyzing behind the scenes, trust me that she can feel your 'freaking out behind the scenes' vibe. She can feel it.

 

People give off energy. And you are giving off a needy energy.

 

When you answered her text with something like 'maybe some other time' she totally felt your angst in that text. And she could right away tell that you weren't being your 'cool, chill' self. She could feel the tension in your response.

 

It's way too early for this. Try to relax and just enjoy it. Yes talk to other people, she probably is also. Don't read too much into her being active on POF. If she has her phone set to notify her of messages, then she'll get a notification and could just be going online quickly to see the message and then log off. Or she could be actively talking to others. Or she could be online just seeing if you're online.

 

It's too early for this kind of analyzing. Relax and try to have fun.

[fmfan08]

Ugh. This whole thing exhausts me. lol

 

I read the whole thread but without exact quotes, there was a part where you said something along the lines that you are cool with her and she doesn't see these little freak outs or whatever. Believe me, she can feel it.

 

Even if you think you're being cool with her and only hyper analyzing behind the scenes, trust me that she can feel your 'freaking out behind the scenes' vibe. She can feel it.

 

People give off energy. And you are giving off a needy energy.

 

When you answered her text with something like 'maybe some other time' she totally felt your angst in that text. And she could right away tell that you weren't being your 'cool, chill' self. She could feel the tension in your response.

 

It's way too early for this. Try to relax and just enjoy it. Yes talk to other people, she probably is also. Don't read too much into her being active on POF. If she has her phone set to notify her of messages, then she'll get a notification and could just be going online quickly to see the message and then log off. Or she could be actively talking to others. Or she could be online just seeing if you're online.

 

It's too early for this kind of analyzing. Relax and try to have fun.

 

Ah yeah I see, I'm guessing that's why she said "that was a really weird text from you" because I haven't displayed that sort of behaviour before. The rest of my texts don't show any needy vibes, they're all upbeat etc.

 

That's what worried me when I saw her online on POF, maybe I put her off so she went on there? But then I realised, on my phone app it would never show her as "online now" when I'd check in the last two weeks (I'd go on to message others, checking her status was an afterthought) but on the desktop website, in the search it would always say "online today" so I guess she had been using it all this time, but I never caught her using it at the same time I did, but hey I'm using it too so whatever.

 

On the bright side, even after I acted different with that text, she suggested a day she was free (could have said she was busy) and continued to act her normal self, using emojis, flirty jokes and still seemed upbeat with me.

 

I guess I must have built up some attraction from her side that sending a text like that wasn't a complete turn off, but still not enough that she flakes on me. Again, could be valid reasons for all I know. We'll see in a weeks time.

[fmfan08]

This flaky behaviour could be due to lack of interest, but she could just ignore me or say she's busy if so. She could just be really busy (hectic week for all students) or playing hard to get due to how her ex was with her. I won't know until she cancels again, but at least I waste one more week on this to get my answer and if I do, then I'll come back and accept I should have listened to you all.

 

If this continues into the future, I'll probably bail if it exhausts me. Who knows, if we see each other enough that she decides she wants us to be exclusive, she might drop this behaviour. If she doesn't then I'll move on.

[Knix]

Ugh. This whole thing exhausts me. lol

 

I read the whole thread but without exact quotes, there was a part where you said something along the lines that you are cool with her and she doesn't see these little freak outs or whatever. Believe me, she can feel it.

 

Even if you think you're being cool with her and only hyper analyzing behind the scenes, trust me that she can feel your 'freaking out behind the scenes' vibe. She can feel it.

 

People give off energy. And you are giving off a needy energy.

 

When you answered her text with something like 'maybe some other time' she totally felt your angst in that text. And she could right away tell that you weren't being your 'cool, chill' self. She could feel the tension in your response.

 

It's way too early for this. Try to relax and just enjoy it. Yes talk to other people, she probably is also. Don't read too much into her being active on POF. If she has her phone set to notify her of messages, then she'll get a notification and could just be going online quickly to see the message and then log off. Or she could be actively talking to others. Or she could be online just seeing if you're online.

 

It's too early for this kind of analyzing. Relax and try to have fun.

 

 

^^ This is what I meant by "friendzoning" maybe I used the wrong word.. but she is putting you on the backburner because of the vibes you're putting out there and all the energy put into this.

 

 

But I hope she shows up on Wednesday

[fmfan08]

One final thought before I go to bed, let's say I "failed her test" by reacting negatively to her flaking, even if it was just one small offish reply, it might not have been enough to put her off completely (as she continued to respond positively) but she might have been trying to go on POF when I was online to test me again, see if I'd react to that.

 

Either that or I've put her off to some degree for her to go looking on there, but I did notice over the last few weeks it would say "online today" next to her name so probably overthinking.

 

Anyway I'm exhausted mentally. Tomorrow is a new day and I start it positive. I'm going to avoid this thread for a week and I'll come back with an update next week. It isn't healthy dwelling on it by being here.

 

See you guys in a week

[fmfan08]

^^ This is what I meant by "friendzoning" maybe I used the wrong word.. but she is putting you on the backburner because of the vibes you're putting out there and all the energy put into this.

 

 

But I hope she shows up on Wednesday

 

I've been cool and relaxed in my texts and on dates with her, except for that hiccup the other day. If anything, if you looked at all our texts, she's the one who you'd say was more into me lol, making the effort, etc. Just the flakyness, whether it's game playing or not.

 

She's postponed our previous two dates before, and that was at a time that I didn't care. So unsure if it's the vibes.

 

I'll text her something intriguing tomorrow and just continue texting as normal. If I completely back off, she'll know something is affecting me so back to my upbeat positive self.

[BryanSmiley]

Let me rephrase my question then, why do you want to be with someone that's too busy for a relationship? If she did it one time, fine.. but its a pattern. Regardless she's making you feel anxious enough to look for answers to her actions, and if she wanted a relationship tomorrow, you'd be all over it, admit it. She has all the control and this pattern of her cancelling plans on you isn't going to suddenly stop. She'll always be busy. In fact, we're all busy with life-- but we make time for relationships when we WANT them.

 

This also lends itself to the situation I went through. I think there’s elements of anxious vs. avoidant persona traits here which I was definitely of the former. Look this up OP! The more they seem to distance, the more your instinct are to chase to avoid losing them. Even if you’re playing it cool (like at times I did) a poster pointed out – you are still feeling those emotions and giving off some vibes. Also despite some of the dating experts saying just behave this way – it doesn’t address the underlying issues and feeling like you shouldn’t message someone and should play it a certain way – isn’t healthy. Now for the most part I really don’t think that’s your fault mate but I can tell like I did, your investing too much in this.

 

Fortunately I didn’t have the multi-dating side to worry about at all. But if that were in the mix in any situation I don’t think I’d be able to tolerate that for long. It amazes me how common it is in America and is becoming so in the UK. What’s so wrong with giving one person your full attention and a good go at things? Seems to me people increasingly feel a need for attention and quick fun experiences – and in the end it doesn’t give any of the persons a reasonable shot at longevity. Add to that, yes she’s within her rights to be on POS, but to have known her some weeks, not be messaging you too much, when she does is genuinely flirty, but flakes on dates etc. Those things need to fade fast or chuck her to the kerb. This behavior can lead the other to chase more and over value them in your head thinking they are in demand. But what’s to say you shouldn’t value her less for her behavioral traits? She’s missing out on you mate, that’s the attitude you need to have for your own well-being! Another thing you need to consider is, perhaps she needs to meet some douches on dating sites. Currently her priority seems more on playing the field for attention and ego boost, rather than valuing finding a genuine person.

[fmfan08]

This also lends itself to the situation I went through. I think there’s elements of anxious vs. avoidant persona traits here which I was definitely of the former. Look this up OP! The more they seem to distance, the more your instinct are to chase to avoid losing them. Even if you’re playing it cool (like at times I did) a poster pointed out – you are still feeling those emotions and giving off some vibes. Also despite some of the dating experts saying just behave this way – it doesn’t address the underlying issues and feeling like you shouldn’t message someone and should play it a certain way – isn’t healthy. Now for the most part I really don’t think that’s your fault mate but I can tell like I did, your investing too much in this.

 

Fortunately I didn’t have the multi-dating side to worry about at all. But if that were in the mix in any situation I don’t think I’d be able to tolerate that for long. It amazes me how common it is in America and is becoming so in the UK. What’s so wrong with giving one person your full attention and a good go at things? Seems to me people increasingly feel a need for attention and quick fun experiences – and in the end it doesn’t give any of the persons a reasonable shot at longevity. Add to that, yes she’s within her rights to be on POS, but to have known her some weeks, not be messaging you too much, when she does is genuinely flirty, but flakes on dates etc. Those things need to fade fast or chuck her to the kerb. This behavior can lead the other to chase more and over value them in your head thinking they are in demand. But what’s to say you shouldn’t value her less for her behavioral traits? She’s missing out on you mate, that’s the attitude you need to have for your own well-being! Another thing you need to consider is, perhaps she needs to meet some douches on dating sites. Currently her priority seems more on playing the field for attention and ego boost, rather than valuing finding a genuine person.

 

I get what you mean and I appreciate your advice. She's been hitting my phone up a lot, initiating a lot, double texting me, drunk texting, telling me what we're going to do on our next date. I've been laid back with it but persisted in seeing her. She could have genuine excuses but she could not. She might not even be using the site as sometimes it can say you're online when you're not, but I'll contact her later today and act as normal in the run up to the date. I'll initiate today then pull back, heck she might not even respond to me today then I could just cancel it myself.

 

But yeah I agree she might have to meet some douches first to realise what she's missed, she did say "i've got a good one here" in reference to me. But she's been flaky with our first two dates and we ended up meeting, I'll put it down to the stress and the busy student week that she has. If it continues to happen then I walk away.

[Miss Spider]

[]

 

Women who are interested to not act this way! She is stringing you along and I would be (pleasantly!) surprised if she goes on Wednesday. Though, she may have anything else to do and agree ...

 

If she ignored, she would lose out of the possibility of maybe, like if all her other options run out and her mind changes, seeing you. Or receiving the attention she's getting from you.

 

Plus no one likes to reject people, so many tend to take the path of least resistance while giving the other party way too much hope and driving them insane

 

I think that text to try to keep her hooked for Wednesday is going to interpreted by her as such and as trying way too hard. You might as well say "not a day has gone by, m'lady, where I haven't thought about seeing you Wednesday. Please, please, please don't cancel. I know seeing me alone isn't enough to entice you, but I promise there's an exciting surprise for you!!! Will that get you to come?"

 

My interpretation of what went wrong on on one of your convos

 

Girl - Thank you sorry just read my phone been planning for my interview and in school. I do have plans on Sunday sorry. Xxxxx

"Thanks. I've actually been on my phone all day, so sorry I've been ignoring you. I'm just truly not that interested and I've been trying to postpone this awkward conversation, but I don't want to go out with you this weekend or anytime in the foreseeable future. You didn't take the hint last time, so I'm not even going to half assedly suggest another time. Sorry hugs."

 

Me - Fair enough, I'll leave it then. Maybe some other time x

Fine response. You're like "it's whatever. I'm pretty much over this."

 

Girl - That's an off text...sorry I have plans, just that's it's a bank holiday and been planned for a while x

" that's uncharacteristic of him. He's going to be all dismissive like that? He's not gonna make me feel bad about this. Lets see if I can bait him with his own insecurities and turn it around on him and make him feel he's the one who did something wrong here"

 

Me - That's okay. When are you next free? x [Looks silly on reflection as I pretty much contradicted myself after my last reply, but at this point I gave it the benefit of the doubt to see if she'll give me the "i'm busy" excuse or whatever]

This is still fine.(Other than the fact you shouldn't even still be bothering with this girl) You aren't thinking about it enough to see any contradiction... right?

 

Girl - That seemed a really weird text off you...I'm free next Wednesday? x [Not sure which text she was calling weird, I was thinking the "maybe some other time" one as that's the first time I've not acted positive/out of character with her, or it could be that I went from "forget about it" to asking when she's next free lol]

"let me see if I still got my hook in. I can always cancel, and plus I might actually not have anything better going on they night, it's so far out."

 

Me - Yeah that's great, how does Wednesday at 7 sound? I'm working that morning x"

Still fine. Concise.

 

Girl - Yeah sounds good what was the Facebook status about today? What you been up to? x [i put a facebook status up 3 hours before saying "finished work, can't wait for later " as we were supposed to have our date tonight but now I'm going out with a friend after she postponed it]

.

" okay I think he's coming back around. But let me do some further investigation to be sure"

 

 

Me - Going to watch a film then some drinks with a friend, probably get into trouble how's the interview planning going? x" [i'm going seeing the exact movie we planned to watch, but with a friend. maybe I could have gone "never you mind nosy " but didn't want to risk her thinking I was with another girl, I've done something similar before and this other girl outright rejected me eventually because she thought I was making her jealous and that I had 10 girls on each arm] [/Quote]You should have gone with abiguous as possible. This chick bailed on you. Don't say "none of your business, nosey" (game playing/try hard) Just be brief. "Just getting into trouble" would have been fine. Why don't you want her mind to wonder if you're out with another girl? Are you crazy??? That would be her imagination telling her you have options, you're not waiting around for her, and you could move on at any point so she better step it up. I don't know how it went with the last girl, but im assuming you did more than just be a little mysterious about what you're doing on the day she bailed on your 3rd date. She either (most likeky) saw some serious game playing or something was off about her.

 

 

Girl - Oh right, well try your hardess not to haha. Alright I think... just won't sleep tonight thinking about it x

" haha yeah I knew I had him. I shouldn't doubt myself like that. I'm so done with this convo"

 

Me - You got this, I believe in you Anyway going to put my phone on silent and get going otherwise people will be throwing popcorn at me! See you cheeky x". [was the first part cheesy? i was 50/50 on it, but wanted to show my support]

You're trying too hard and it shows.

 

I didn't get a goodbye response but I guess that's because I'm going to put my phone on silent and be in the cinema. She's done that before though.

Of course. As said before, she's over it.

 

Anyway I'll let her get in contact with me next time. I've managed to get the "date" if it ends up existing by next Wednesday, so I'm going to back off and let her reach out to me next time.

Yeah I don't think you did though? You wished her luck. Now you're planning to reaching out yet again. Texting someone you've been out with into wanting to be with you is impossible. It's just going to come off as try-hard.

-------------

Let. It. Go. OP. You are obsessed. Even checking her social media to make sure hasn't added any new guys. OP, you really need to cool it when you like a girl because I know you might feel like you can compartmentalize your obsession and play it cool, but it doesn't work like that. Trust us.

Edited April 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content

[curlygirl40]

I think there’s elements of anxious vs. avoidant persona traits here which I was definitely of the former. Look this up OP!

 

Definitely look into this. There is a book that I think everyone should read when dating. It will explain so much and give you knowledge that you need when dealing with other people in dating and knowledge about yourself which could help you in dating and relationship situations.

 

It's called Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find - and keep - love

[act00]

Did I miss an update? Did she show or did she bail?

[fmfan08]

Did I miss an update? Did she show or did she bail?

 

It's the following Wednesday I'd be seeing her.

 

We sent a few texts the other day and they seemed to be her normal self, I referenced Wednesday's date and she made a joke about using google earth to get there and wondering where we're going in an exciting way.

 

However last night when she was celebrating her new job with friends she sent me a drunk text inviting me to some party but then went back on it when she was sober telling me she'll talk to me about it on Wednesday.

 

Here are the texts:

 

Her - Out with my girls celebrating they want me to invite you to a party on the 20th May at my friends house, so they can meet you. What they think? C

 

Me - Bet you got up to no good! And sounds good to me, I'll try and book that weekend off x

 

Her - Omg totally just read this I was so drunk last night and been on school today...not good! Omg, I'll talk to you about it on Wednesday. Don't book it off just yet hahahaa :') xxx

 

Me - Yeah thought you were a bit drunk Alright then, let me know what the deal is on Wednesday xxx

Edited April 28, 2017 by fmfan08

[fmfan08]

[]

 

Long reply

 

She did actually reply after that saying "Thank you okay, have a good night xx"

 

The following day I text her at 3pm assuming she was at school but at 4pm she posted on Facebook saying she got the job with everyone she knows congratulating her. So at 4:30pm I wrote on her status congratulations in which her and her best friend pressed like, then she replied to my text. It felt like having to like her status to remind her that I texted which sucked, unless she just kept getting notifications of comments on her status and got distracted as she liked each comment, but still a bad sign.

 

That conversation went well and she put effort in it with 4-5 lines referencing our date next Wednesday a lot. But I ended it saying my phone was dying and I was going out after work. She hadn't replied to that goodbye text but she was out drinking with friends and celebrating her new job.

 

Three hours later was when I got that drunk text, which I reference in my post above.

 

I am considering cancelling Wednesday and forgetting about it, it's started to feel like I'm doing the effort lately and as outsiders looking in, you also say it's a very bad idea to continue. I'll see if Wednesday works out and if it doesn't she's gone.

[fmfan08]

[]

L

My interpretation of what went wrong on on one of your convos

 

"Thanks. I've actually been on my phone all day, so sorry I've been ignoring you. I'm just truly not that interested and I've been trying to postpone this awkward conversation, but I don't want to go out with you this weekend or anytime in the foreseeable future. You didn't take the hint last time, so I'm not even going to half assedly suggest another time. Sorry hugs."

 

She is a teacher though, or in a placement where she is a teacher so she won't be allowed access to her phone a lot, but then again when I replied to her drunk text from last night at mid-day today she replied 10 mins after and mentioned she was at school working today, so maybe you are right and she was purposely ignoring me, but she could have just ignored me altogether. If she didn't want to go out with me though she'd have not suggested Wednesday and just said she'd be busy. Okay it's a week off and gives her time to cancel ir postpone again but what would be the point.

[fmfan08]

Well she's definitely using POF. I was talking to my mate about it so he made a profile on there (different name) and sent a message on Thursday just to see, turned out she replied saying "Hey you okay x". He also asked her what she was doing this weekend, she said she's out sunday night (which is what she said to me) but was having a quiet one tonight (saturday night) which was the day she said she "definitely couldn't do".

 

I didn't ask him to do that but least I know she is using that. We've only been on two dates so it isn't exclusive, but there's definitely a chance she's dating others. If so then whatever, as long as I'm better and we're going on dates then whatever. I'll be dating others too and I'm talking to other girls, so can't have double-standards here and complain.

 

She also sent this Thursday night when she was celebrating drinking out with her girlfriends:

 

Her - Out with my girls celebrating they want me to invite you to a party on the 20th May at my friends house, so they can meet you. What they think? C

 

Me - Bet you got up to no good! And sounds good to me, I'll try and book that weekend off x

 

 

What do you make of that?

Edited May 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Replaced jpg with text ~6

[Knix]

Her - Omg totally just read this I was so drunk last night and been on school today...not good! Omg, I'll talk to you about it on Wednesday. Don't book it off just yet hahahaa :') xxx

 

 

She keeps reeling you in and throwing you back. She's making it clear that she won't follow through with these plans, and added that part just so when she cancels she doesn't feel guilty.

 

 

The worst part is that she keeps making plans and then bailing in order to keep your interest. This game is usually played when someone is talking to multiple people and want to have a backup plan (unfortunately this would be you)

 

 

I'm sure she's aware that you will want to stop putting up with this game, so she says something to pull you in. Even when I first read it I thought "hey maybe she actually does like him since she wants to make plans for you to meet her friends" but after I read what I quoted above, it was clear this is her game.

 

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I know it's tempting to keep giving her chance after chance, but honestly this is not healthy.

 

 

Just remember that every time you back off she will try to grab your attention again, but know that it's for her own selfish reasons. I don't see this turning into a serious relationship... I don't even think she'll make the effort to see you again :/

[winny]

If you are making a thread and speaking to her on POF thru a friend then she is just not another date to you. You probably see her as a potential GF.

My advice is run away from hot and cold as soon as you can. The longer u stay the painful it will be. Hot and cold is a huge red flag and a sign of a selfish person. You can do better if you just end it right now.

[fmfan08]

So a couple of days ago she asked me if I was seeing any other girls apart from her? I told her she was the only girl I'm seeing at this moment.

 

Anyway it's Wednesday morning and she's text "Morning old man...I'm not well, been up all night being sick and not slept. Having the day off work and going to try and sleep it off. So I'm going to say I won't be able to come tonight so sorry! No idea what is wrong with me...I will try to make it up to you. Xxx"

 

I'm going to remove her off Facebook and just send her a message later saying I take the hint or something.

 

You guys were right after all. I just thought with some of the texts she was giving me these last few days there was some hope lol.

[BryanSmiley]

So a couple of days ago she asked me if I was seeing any other girls apart from her? I told her she was the only girl I'm seeing at this moment.

 

Anyway it's Wednesday morning and she's text "Morning old man...I'm not well, been up all night being sick and not slept. Having the day off work and going to try and sleep it off. So I'm going to say I won't be able to come tonight so sorry! No idea what is wrong with me...I will try to make it up to you. Xxx"

 

I'm going to remove her off Facebook and just send her a message later saying I take the hint or something.

 

You guys were right after all. I just thought with some of the texts she was giving me these last few days there was some hope lol.

 

Weird psychology and behaviour on this lass dude. Asking if you’re seeing anyone else and then is so flaky, unreliable.

 

Can’t blame you for reacting like that and chucking in the towel. It’s exactly what was feared she’d do and she’s done it. Beyond that it’s not like you’ve met recently either. She doesn’t mention re-scheduling a few days later. She’s suddenly ill on the day without mentioning prior – I wonder if she’s mentioned being ill on social media!?!

 

I would probably be careful with how you word a response if it’s worth doing any. I can definitely see her turning this around – saying your being arsey when she’s ill and has let you know.

[fmfan08]

Weird psychology and behaviour on this lass dude. Asking if you’re seeing anyone else and then is so flaky, unreliable.

 

Can’t blame you for reacting like that and chucking in the towel. It’s exactly what was feared she’d do and she’s done it. Beyond that it’s not like you’ve met recently either. She doesn’t mention re-scheduling a few days later. She’s suddenly ill on the day without mentioning prior – I wonder if she’s mentioned being ill on social media!?!

 

I would probably be careful with how you word a response if it’s worth doing any. I can definitely see her turning this around – saying your being arsey when she’s ill and has let you know.

 

I had a semi-lengthy reply written that I'd take the hint and she's made it clear she doesn't want to meet, that i've been patient enough and would rather date someone who wants to get to know me in person, that maybe she has met someone else, that i'm glad to get to know her in the time we did but i have to think about myself etc and that she can contact me if she wants to pursue things, then I'd say good luck.

 

But I think that's a bad reply and makes me look too bothered..

 

So I think I might go with "Let's just do it another time when your schedule is more definite x" and just remove her from Facebook. Least that shows I'm moving and and cannot be bothered, straight to the point.