bmne90 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Hey guys, So I met this girl in class about a week ago. She seemed interested in me - laughing at all my jokes, blushing, and asking very personal questions. Since meeting her, I've never formally asked her out on a date, except to grab ice cream once with her and her friend after class. Today, I finally got the balls to ask her if she wants to grab some drinks, but she said she has plans already to watch a movie with her "friend" and was not sure if she'd be able to cancel them. She then took about a half an hour on the phone talking with her "friend", presumably to postpone it...but to no avail. Thing is, I was using her laptop earlier and saw that she was talking to a guy and making plans with him. I figured the "friend" was him, so I wanted to clarify with her if her friend was a guy, and whether or not it was her boyfriend. She said "no", and that she's just his "slave"/"workhorse". She then apologized to me and asked what I'd be doing the rest of the night. I told her I was just gonna go chill by myself, which was the truth. I ended up confused and not knowing what to do. About half an hour later, she called me, apologized again, and offered to hang out with me next time we're both free. What do I do? Do I take her offer? Is she even single? Do I even have a chance with her, when she's talking with all these guys? Thanks in advance guys
KBarletta Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Just because she is "talking to other guys" doesn't mean she's not single. And it goes without saying that every single, attractive woman is going to have more than one guy interested in them, so it's not as if you should expect other guys not to be talking to her. She wouldn't have called you twice and offered to hang out if she wasn't at least somewhat interested. Take her up on her offer, be clear about your intentions (that you want to date her) and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?
CptInsano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Yes, you messed up by not coming up with something when she asked you what you were up to the rest of the night. Take her up on her offer an show some initiative. I'm not sure if the other guy means competition, but if she wants to spend time with you, I would believe her. The only thing that puzzles me is the "slave/workhorse" comment. Maybe I'm missing something.
Author bmne90 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Posted April 24, 2017 EDIT: The "slave"/"workhorse" thing was just a term she used to describe her having to do all the work for the guy "friend", in other words, friendzoned by him.
CptInsano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 EDIT: The "slave"/"workhorse" thing was just a term she used to describe her having to do all the work for the guy "friend", in other words, friendzoned by him. Ah, okay. Yeah, go for it, then.
smackie9 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 EDIT: The "slave"/"workhorse" thing was just a term she used to describe her having to do all the work for the guy "friend", in other words, friendzoned by him. So she pretty much put this guy that rejected her, in front of you....he is more of a priority to her. It's a no brainer..... 1
Author bmne90 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Posted April 24, 2017 So she pretty much put this guy that rejected her, in front of you....he is more of a priority to her. It's a no brainer..... Could it be that they did, in fact, make plans first? Also, what's your take on her calling him to try and postpone it? Thanks in advance
preraph Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Normal people have both male and female friends and acquaintances. She was probably helping him with something, by her comment, homework or a project or something. Anyway, doesn't sound like it amounts to anything. And it doesn't matter nor should you ask act like it's your business. You ask her out again since she said she'd like to and leave the subject alone. If you're so insecure that you can't handle a woman have a male friend or hanging out with other guys or even dating other guys (when you two are not even dating or exclusive), then you have some maturing to do. 2
CptInsano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 So she pretty much put this guy that rejected her, in front of you....he is more of a priority to her. It's a no brainer..... I don't agree on this one. She had plans already and tried to cancel them. That's perfectly understandable. And as a guy you get used to competition anyhow, and that shouldn't concern you as long as you receive positive signals from her, which he does. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I think it's college. Things are more fluid. Get togethers planned more then a few hours in advance are very rare. She's not exclusive with this guy & she has expressed some desire to spend time with you when she is free. After next class, ask her when she will be free. Go do something with her then
Author bmne90 Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 So a week has gone by, nothing has progressed. I see her once a week for class, and I had planned to take her out for dinner last night. However, she texted me 20 minutes before class that she had a family emergency and would not be coming to class. I'm not sure where to go from here, any suggestions?
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 The fact that she thought of you in the midst of an emergency is a good thing. Text her back. Ask if everything is OK. Offer to meet up so you can give her the notes you took in class.
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