Jammer25 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I had a third date yesterday with someone I met on OLD, but something weird caught me off guard. She invited me to go on a weekend road trip with her and her friends in a month. At first I laughed it off thinking she wasn't serious, but she said it again. I told her I appreciated the offer and would think about it. But here I am thinking to myself I've known this woman for 2 weeks and she's asking me to go on a road trip with her social circle. I'm not comfortable with that obviously. Not quite sure how to perceive this, as even I don't have much context behind what could make her extend that offer. Is she looking for someone to show off? Perhaps loneliness or desperation to not be single? We've had fun, normal dates so far so it was definitely out of the blue for me. Thoughts?
Chilli Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) Have had that 1/2 hour after meeting a girl so yours is kinda slow haha. Mate , think it's pretty simple. Different people have different ways and time things and ideas on socializing and different degrees of caution. She likes ya ,she's decided she trusts ya , she thinks it'll be fine. lf you wanna go, go, and have fun. ps , one girl when l was trying the date site thing, was 3hrs away so when we decided to meet she said ahhhh, you can just crash here the night seems it's so far. Ended up staying 3 days. Edited April 24, 2017 by Chilli 2
CptInsano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I went on a one week vacation with a woman I had only talked to for 30 minutes the night before. So, by all means, it's only a weekend in your case, and nothing more. And after 3 dates you should be able to gauge if you could spend a weekend with her. Maybe she wants a guy to go with her if her friends are all couples, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. 1
salparadise Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Yes, if everyone else is coupled up then it's pretty obvious why. If not, there may be single guys and she'd rather not be the single woman they're hitting on. Any number of possibilities. Is everyone going in the same vehicle, staying in hotels... what sort of road trip is this? My reservation would be that you don't know the other people at all, and you might find yourself stuck with someone who drives you bonkers. There is also the thing where if they might try to undermine you with this woman, depending on how you get along with them. Too much left to chance here for my taste, esp since you're just getting started. If I were you, I'd try to talk her into a separate road trip (or beach trip) instead, with just the two of you. Much better way to build connection... not to mention the activities you might want to engage in.
Tressugar Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 It really doesn't matter why she'd asked you. If you don't want to go then don't go. Don't read into this.
kendahke Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 sounds like she wanted to extend an invite to someone she likes. Just tell her you don't know or like her well enough to go out of town with her... if you're offput and judgy by this, then that means you're really not all that interested in her, so break it off.
MoreThanThat Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I'm not sure what the big deal is. I had one relationship where 2 weeks in, he asked me to do a road trip which ended up being 2 1/2 months long! These kind of things are great for getting to know someone better!
SevenCity Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 sounds like she wanted to extend an invite to someone she likes. Just tell her you don't know or like her well enough to go out of town with her... if you're offput and judgy by this, then that means you're really not all that interested in her, so break it off. Do this if you never want to hear from her again. To me it's too soon to be with her friends. I agree with the above poster recommending a trip with the two of you later. Just tell her you have plans already or have to work. I turned down a week trip with a girl to Florida in about the same timeframe as your offer (relatives time share). I'm thankful I did as I realized later she was looking for someone to foot the bill for her. I dated her for 2 months and she was one of the most horrible people I've ever met in my life. So glad I didn't get stuck feeding her 3 meals a day.
Miss Peach Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 Different people have different rules about inviting people into their social circle. I wouldn't really put anything into it. Who knows? You may or may not be seeing each other in that time.
avvril3000 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I had a third date yesterday with someone I met on OLD, but something weird caught me off guard. She invited me to go on a weekend road trip with her and her friends in a month. At first I laughed it off thinking she wasn't serious, but she said it again. I told her I appreciated the offer and would think about it. But here I am thinking to myself I've known this woman for 2 weeks and she's asking me to go on a road trip with her social circle. I'm not comfortable with that obviously. Not quite sure how to perceive this, as even I don't have much context behind what could make her extend that offer. Is she looking for someone to show off? Perhaps loneliness or desperation to not be single? We've had fun, normal dates so far so it was definitely out of the blue for me. Thoughts? Maybe she has a sense for adventure, and maybe she is testing if you could be a likely match for her, someone who would be a risk taker and drop things to just go out on the road...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 "I had a third date yesterday with someone I met on OLD, but something weird caught me off guard. She invited me to go on a weekend road trip with her and her friends in a month." I would have been a little hesitant if it were the first or second date, but she seems to be showing confidence in the relationship early on to invite you. In the end, she doesn't lose anything. If things don't work out by then, so what. She's going on this get-away with or w/o you. One of the things I don't like is to be the center of attention during such get-togethers. I think it's natural that one would want their friends to check out the new guy. I wouldn't read anything nefarious about this. Take it as an opportunity to impress upon them that you are a good guy, but don't try to be something you're not.
Author Jammer25 Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 If I were you, I'd try to talk her into a separate road trip (or beach trip) instead, with just the two of you. Much better way to build connection... not to mention the activities you might want to engage in. I like the idea. I'd prefer to travel with just her to get to know her that way, as opposed to having her whole group of friends there to add countless variables. At least not in that setting, I wouldn't want to feel stuck if things got awkward or whatnot. One of the things I don't like is to be the center of attention during such get-togethers. I think it's natural that one would want their friends to check out the new guy. I think this is definitely a factor for me. I'm fairly introverted and would prefer to ease into getting to know her social circle. The trip is a ways off so I still have time to think about it though.
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