veryberry9 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I'll do my best to keep this to the point. I dated my high school sweetheart for 6 years, with a few breaks in between. We broke up over a year ago yet we're still in each other lives. The reason he broke up with me was because he wanted to figure himself out and what he wanted in his life in addition to saying he felt unmotivated in our relationship and unhappy. I took the break up very hard and even lost my mind for a bit. We have mutual interests so we ran in to each other here and there and that led to casual hookups where it created false hope for me. This setup didn't last long and we stopped all contact for about 3 months. This was huge for me especially because I always found an excuse to talk to him. Anyways, three months pass and my friend messages me saying he missed me... I tried to ignore it but of course it made me think of him again more than I wanted. We run into each other again and it leads to things. I go back on cutting him off and letting him back in. I felt like we could handle casual and it was going "well" at first. But things came up where it reminded him how much he didn't trust me or felt respected by me. To sum all this up, I know this isn't a smart setup for either of us. I know I need to let him go and move on, but I don't want to. And I also, don't understand why he's still around despite feeling alot of negative ways towards me. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I strongly believe I have blindspots and believe hearing from others will help be have a better perspective on this whole situation.
Maldives Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 I'll do my best to keep this to the point. I dated my high school sweetheart for 6 years, with a few breaks in between. We broke up over a year ago yet we're still in each other lives. The reason he broke up with me was because he wanted to figure himself out and what he wanted in his life in addition to saying he felt unmotivated in our relationship and unhappy. I took the break up very hard and even lost my mind for a bit. We have mutual interests so we ran in to each other here and there and that led to casual hookups where it created false hope for me. This setup didn't last long and we stopped all contact for about 3 months. This was huge for me especially because I always found an excuse to talk to him. Anyways, three months pass and my friend messages me saying he missed me... I tried to ignore it but of course it made me think of him again more than I wanted. We run into each other again and it leads to things. I go back on cutting him off and letting him back in. I felt like we could handle casual and it was going "well" at first. But things came up where it reminded him how much he didn't trust me or felt respected by me. To sum all this up, I know this isn't a smart setup for either of us. I know I need to let him go and move on, but I don't want to. And I also, don't understand why he's still around despite feeling alot of negative ways towards me. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I strongly believe I have blindspots and believe hearing from others will help be have a better perspective on this whole situation. I'd say it's because his hoping things have changed. Why don't you two engage a professional like a couples councillor? Find a good one 1st and then see how that goes. I think you both need a 3rd perspective to see if you can both heal and move forward with a relationship
EmilyJane Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 He's still around for the sex honey. It's comforting and familiar and he knows he doesn't have to give you a relationship to get it. He does not love you. He does not want to be your boyfriend. Or he wouldn't have left.
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