Holiday booked

[Rockdad]

I've said it before at my age I don't get the new dating rules. Now how long does a girl date a guy and then break it to him "I lied, that is not my real name it's XXXX."

[GorillaTheater]

I've said it before at my age I don't get the new dating rules. Now how long does a girl date a guy and then break it to him "I lied, that is not my real name it's XXXX."

 

 

Unless she's in a federal witness protection program or in the CIA, I'd immediately write her off as a nut.

[Tressugar]

Unless she's in a federal witness protection program or in the CIA, I'd immediately write her off as a nut.

 

Really? I guess you never had ppl follow you and/or turn up on your doorstep at night. Yeah I'm a nut for my privacy.

[GorillaTheater]

Really? I guess you never had ppl follow you and/or turn up on your doorstep at night. Yeah I'm a nut for my privacy.

 

 

I suppose it's possible that I'm being a hardass about this; what kind of reactions do you get when you have the "I'm really Sally, not Susan" talk?

[Tressugar]

I suppose it's possible that I'm being a hardass about this; what kind of reactions do you get when you have the "I'm really Sally, not Susan" talk?

 

I usually say I go by my middle name. Men have never questioned me about it.

[act00]

You are confusing the hell out of me. He doesn't know your name. You want to be celibate until marriage, but you don't want marriage. You expect an awful LOT out of a non-relationship and two dates. You are a bit of a mess, and I think you're a little selfish as well. This guy has been dealing with a MAJOR health issue with his sister. Where are his parents? Have they already passed away? Did he care and worry for them too? Is he dealing with aging parents and an ill sister? What he went through is HUGE, and sorry if you didn't fit the priority. If he expected you to take on a "wife" role, helping out, being his shoulder to cry on, taking sis to appointments, etc., you would have run for the hills after two dates and he expected that. He took a vacation. He's not your boyfriend and you're not a couple. It sounds like after a major traumatic event, he would like to keep the door open with you, but he needed, and took, a much-needed break. I'm actually envious he can afford it.

 

I do agree that six weeks is a really long time, and given the circumstances, I would just take this to be the timing is just off. I wouldn't wait around. I would continue to date. If he is that great a guy, who knows what might transpire when he's home again. I would pursue it if he was worth the wait. If he was worth the try. If he is not worth the wait, if he appears selfish, or if there was no chemistry, then move on. No need to wait around.

 

You need to figure out what you want, dear. I can't imagine you'll meet a long-term man if you are unwilling to have an adult relationship, whether or not that includes a wedding ring. You won't get anyone to stick around to a laundry list of personal rules either. I don't know how you can even claim relationship after only two dates and he doesn't even know your real first name.

[NuevoYorko]

Really? I guess you never had ppl follow you and/or turn up on your doorstep at night. Yeah I'm a nut for my privacy.

You said earlier that you won't give a man your name until you have "all the deets on him" so you can have him checked out. Why doesn't he get the same opportunity?

 

I'm not seeing how this technique of withholding your real self from men you are dating is working out for you and the OP. I mean clearly you have survived all the potential stalkers, but it doesn't appear to be helping with developing a relationship.

[Tressugar]

It works for me. I've been developing healthy relationships.