Breathe Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 Cheating and repeat offenders..... curious to know the time frame between the first affair and the next. If you were caught cheating and fessed up to it, vowed to never do it again - but did. What was the time span in between. Betrayed spouses may answer this also regarding your cheater.
lynnspies1 Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 My husband and I have been married 15 years. His first affair took place with his ex-girlfriend after we had been married 9 years and I was 7 months pregnant with our second child. I caught him via e-mail. The second affair took place this year after 15 years of marriage and three kids. He did it with a coworker and I caught him through cell phone records and investigation. I am a private investigator by trade. He was much better at hiding it this time! We have remained together and have been doing well in marriage counselling. I still do not know if things are going to work but I feel like I owe it to my kids to try. Lynn
SoftDrink Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 wow, lynn, he has some serious nerve to cheat on a PI. as for the original question... i do not cheat anymore and haven't in years. i guess i've found my happiness or whatever. but when i used to cheat, it did seem to be a pattern, i would be "totally in love"...for about a year. then i would get bored with the relationship about that time and would feel bad about breaking up with the guy, and would end up, one way or the other, cheating on him instead. the cheating, for the most part, would be a one-time thing, and i usually would admit it, then be forgiven. after that i would end the relationship on my own, either immediately or eventually. now that i look back on it, i was probably looking to end whatever particular relationship i was in, but didn't know how, so i went about it in a stupid way that couldn't be undone so i could get out of a relationship. pretty dumb, yeah, but i guess that's it. people say once a cheater, always a cheater, but i disagree. i don't feel that i will cheat again--i've grown up a lot since then and handle things a lot better. i don't even consider it an option anymore, in fact, it doesn't even cross my mind. i don't think my chances of reoccuring cheating are any more likely now than someone who's never cheated and says they never will.
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