Boyfriends Grandma is on death bed but he treats like Sh*t

[immizunderstood]

Yeah, his grandma is sick. I love the lady like crazy but I can't find it in my heart to ask about her health status. Yesterday my boyfriend got the call saying if they don't operate she'll die and if they do she may die. In any event my boyfriend has been treating me like crap so when he came home from the hospital yesterday I just didn't say anything to him. He went in his son's room to sleep. I got up and told him to go into the bedroom and I'll sleep in my girls room. This morning when we got up to get ready for work and him the hospital he still didn't say anything to me. My question is should I feel like I should of said something in reference to his grandma because just yesterday prior to the phone call I was insulted again and honestly I feel like its something that's suppose to be done but its something I really don't want to do. Right now I'm dealing with the fact that I'm being emotionally abused. Hell it just hit me like a ton of bricks and now I know why I even deal with the bullsh*t. So on that note any inputs please...

[agnf666]

I'm thinking maybe this is the way he vents in these kinds of situations. He is upset that his Grandmother might die and is just not happy with anyone. Maybe if you let him know if he needs to talk or anything that you are there for him. Maybe jsut honestly ask him if you did something to upset him and ask him why he is treating you like this?

 

I'm just thinking it is all due to the fact his grandmother is very ill. Just take things slow. Try to maybe do somethings to make him feel happy. Be a little more supportive. Maybe ask if you can go to the hospital with him.

[smile95]

does he do this a lot? Or is this the first time? If it is a common thing, then I would not talk to him about it NOW. If it is due to the illness, leave him be. People deal with death differently.

[crazy_grl]

From your post, I don't get a really clear picture of what's going on. I'm not sure if his behavior has changed since his grandma got sick or if something was going on before then. I kind of got the sense that you were having unrelated problems before that.

 

I'm not sure if you're being emotionally abused. I'm not going to say that you're not though, because you didn't talk much about what's going on. If it's just him not talking to you and being upset with you, then I'd say probably not. I'm not sure what you meant when you said that you were insulted, but if it was an intentional insult and that kind of thing happens a lot, then maybe you are. Also, if there are other things that you didn't mention, then you could be right.

 

Emotional abuse is where the abuser pretty much changes the OP's view of reality to match the one he's created for her, taking away her self esteem and self worth, manipulating her to depend solely on him, but not ever really giving her the love and appreciation she needs. The abuser usually makes himself out to be the good guy and his partner the one who's always doing him wrong and hurting him. You may want to look into emotional abuse. A good site is http://www.youarenotcrazy.com

 

Other than that, I don't know what to tell you, because I'm not sure what's going on between you.

[immizunderstood]

Well, Yes in fact I am being emotionally abused and that's the main reason why I didn't want to even ask about his grandmother. For the most part this man trys to make me feel as if I were crazy for the things that go on in our relationship. I am to the point as of now that I am packing my things and am going to live with my sister so that I could get on my feet and find an apartment for me and my children. He feels as though he is my big savior who saved me from my previous relationship. I have learned a lot about emotional abuse via this site and books. I have now set boundaries for myself and will no longer tolerate the crap he gives me. His grandmother is going to die, I could feel it but I won't be there to be his punching bag once she's passes. He's on own on this own. I most certainly don't want to end up like his last girlfriend who tried to kill her self by overdosing on pills.