highfeline Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Okay so I know that this is going to be a odd story. So five years ago, I was really good friends with this guy, we literally spent always everyday together for an entire winter. Towards the end of the winter, he asked me out on a date, saying how much he liked me and and I responded with "Um sorry I've got to walk my dog bye" (so awkward I know) The thing is, I actually had such a big crush on him but at the time I had never been asked out before. Nothing ever ended up happening because I was too young and naive. (He's 10years older than me) Fast forward five years, we kind of lost touch and both were in a serious long-term relationship with other people. Now he moved back into town, we're both single and I have such a serious crush on him again. I've never had a crush on anyone ... I mean I did but I just ended up dating them. I get that now he is fresh out of a long term relationship but it's so hard to gage him. I also never ever chase after guys, but now I'm texting him first and everything. It's so frustrating because well talk and then he'll just leave my last message on read and that's how conversations end. I have never been this confused/intrigued/frustrated/crushing on a guy heeelppp What do I do? I know I should just live life and see if he reciprocates anything but I can't help wonder if it might be my karma for turning him down all those years ago. And if he liked me then, he must still have some sort of feelings for me right?
Telemachus Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 It's not an odd story at all. There's a tendency for people to think that their own situation is complicated, messy, or odd. When it comes to almost any situation or feeling, people can identify and tend not to find it nearly as unusual as the person bringing it up thinks it is. Same with your posting here. So, you're the conversation starter, and always have the last word. He may have feelings for you, but they're not as strong as yours. The words 'he's just not that into you' come to mind. There's nothing wrong with that. Two people's feelings are rarely completely mutual and fully reciprocated. It's the usual state of things. If you want to ask him out, ask him out. If you want it to be a date, tell him it's a date when you ask. He'll say 'yes' or 'no'. Take it from there. 1
smackie9 Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Since you two already know each other, you can meet up for coffee, have a talk with him. Casually (even jokingly) mention how you had such a crush on him but were too young and naive at the time. That will give him all the info he needs. 2
mikeylo Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 He isn't into you. Period. Long answer: You rejected him. You both dated others. Again in contact BUT he kinda is ignoring you. He doesn't have any feelings anymore. Feelings change. You can't hold it against him. People grow and change. My advice, take it or leave it. Let go. Don't contact again. His behavior says everything. Leave with good memories of the past.
JuneL Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Have you already met in person again? Okay so I know that this is going to be a odd story. So five years ago, I was really good friends with this guy, we literally spent always everyday together for an entire winter. Towards the end of the winter, he asked me out on a date, saying how much he liked me and and I responded with "Um sorry I've got to walk my dog bye" (so awkward I know) The thing is, I actually had such a big crush on him but at the time I had never been asked out before. Nothing ever ended up happening because I was too young and naive. (He's 10years older than me) Fast forward five years, we kind of lost touch and both were in a serious long-term relationship with other people. Now he moved back into town, we're both single and I have such a serious crush on him again. I've never had a crush on anyone ... I mean I did but I just ended up dating them. I get that now he is fresh out of a long term relationship but it's so hard to gage him. I also never ever chase after guys, but now I'm texting him first and everything. It's so frustrating because well talk and then he'll just leave my last message on read and that's how conversations end. I have never been this confused/intrigued/frustrated/crushing on a guy heeelppp What do I do? I know I should just live life and see if he reciprocates anything but I can't help wonder if it might be my karma for turning him down all those years ago. And if he liked me then, he must still have some sort of feelings for me right?
preraph Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Since you turned him down, you should stick your neck out here to make up for that. You're texting him and you know his status. Next tell him, "When you are ready to date again, I want to take you out for a drink. I was too young to accept your invitation five years ago, but now I think it would be fun!" 1
act00 Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 If he's fresh out of a long-term relationship, he may not be ready for another one. It may not be the best time for you to embark on something with him right now. How long has he been out of this relationship, and has he dated at all since then? You don't want to be the rebound. I think it's possible he might still have some feelings for you, but he equally may have moved on. I would say either stop initiating contact or ask him out on a date...either way, you'll get your answer. I've heard a couple of great stories where past "misses" reconnected years and marriages later. It's very sweet. It can happen, but it doesn't seem he's really interested in you in that way right now. 2
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