llance22 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Hey everyone here is the low down on my relationship and what went "wrong" I'm 22 my gf is 20 and we have been dating pretty much long distance 3 years (hour away weekends only) for most of our relationship other than the summers when' she is home. Basically what has happened is my gf hasn't really felt the same for a while about us and is confused because she's never experienced her young adult life without being in a relationship. She isn't the type of girl that wants to go sleep around but a lot of her free time we spent together because of how little time we had to begin with. She has been away at school for 2 years and now is moving back to a local school which will be different if we continue our relationship because she will be around a lot more. We are currently on a break until around mid June with no communication and very little restrictions BUT we aren't the type of people that would just go and ruin everything with a stupid hook up. I initially noticed something was wrong when she became less affectionate and our contact really stared to fade. I think she really wants time to herself to do her own thing but I'm very scared she will not want to continue the relationship although I don't know if that will be the case. She has a lot of insecurities and isn't very social so dating again intimidates her which leads me to believe she will want to try and work on things. She told me she feels she's changed and thinks I'm the "immature" although she couldn't give me specifics as to why Just looking for insight and opinions, if you need more details feel free to ask Thanks in advanced
adreamwithinadream Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.” It sounds like she needs to discover herself and be on her own for awhile. I think all 20 somethings get like this at some point where they have to figure out where they belong in this world. you were her first real relationship and she is probably scared to get hurt. By her moving back home and it no longer being a long distance relationship means more commitment and maybe she is not ready for that. I think maybe she does care a lot about you but she doesn't want any regrets and you are both still young so a break is maybe a good idea for both of you to forgive things out and experience life without a serious relationship. a break doesn't just mean having sex with other people but just being able to be on your own for a while and make your own decisions without worrying about another person. Also long distance relationships are hard it becomes easier to grow apart because you don't see eachother much and you both live different day to day lives. Maybe once you live in the same place things will sort out and you and her can come together
d0nnivain Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Breaks are break ups. Don't kid yourself. The purpose of this break is so your GF can confirm her suspicion that she will be just fine without you. Problems in a relationship can only be solved by working together. Time & distance make things worse. Good luck. This is going to be a bumpy ride until it ends in tragedy.
fromheart Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 So I'll give the harsh truth which most if not all posters are going to give. A break means break up. As soon as she starts coming out with 'she doesn't feel the same way, never experienced life single etc,' it is time to back away. I'd end it at that point, telling her I'm not interested in friendship and that she can give you a call if she changes her mind. She is saying that she doesn't feel the same way anymore, and wishes to have other experiences. It really is time to let her go. If you wish to keep an option open, then back away with complete NC and take the advice above. Best to take action, you are being set up to be dumped right now. Leave the sinking ship, don't go down with it.
SevenCity Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Breaks are break ups. Don't kid yourself. The purpose of this break is so your GF can confirm her suspicion that she will be just fine without you. Problems in a relationship can only be solved by working together. Time & distance make things worse. Good luck. This is going to be a bumpy ride until it ends in tragedy. So I'll give the harsh truth which most if not all posters are going to give. A break means break up. As soon as she starts coming out with 'she doesn't feel the same way, never experienced life single etc,' it is time to back away. I'd end it at that point, telling her I'm not interested in friendship and that she can give you a call if she changes her mind. She is saying that she doesn't feel the same way anymore, and wishes to have other experiences. It really is time to let her go. If you wish to keep an option open, then back away with complete NC and take the advice above. Best to take action, you are being set up to be dumped right now. Leave the sinking ship, don't go down with it. Yep and yep. There are no such things as "breaks", only breakups. Treat it as such, walk away and never call her ever again. She is in your past now and should remain there.
Recommended Posts