memg4495 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 I totally blew it. I met this amazing girl but I got too excited and came on too strong, and maybe even seemed needy looking back on it. She stopped talking to me. I guess I made it too easy for her? It's been a week and I know I messed up. I would love to try to get her back but is it a lost cause at this point? Any suggestions please Thank you
preraph Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Desperation is a big turnoff and can be a red flag for other issues as well. Anything you'd do now would only make her continue to pull away. Just move on and don't make the same mistake the next woman you date. 4
Marc878 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 First impressions are lasting I'm afraid. However, you should learn a valuable lesson. Relationships need balance @ 50/50. You do to much or go overboard you can get taken advantage of and lose respect or end up being a pest. Take off your Mickey Mouse ears next time. 3
basil67 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 I totally blew it. I met this amazing girl but I got too excited and came on too strong, and maybe even seemed needy looking back on it. She stopped talking to me. I guess I made it too easy for her? It's been a week and I know I messed up. I would love to try to get her back but is it a lost cause at this point? Any suggestions please Thank you You haven't given us much to go on, so I will work on the stereotypical descriptions of being needy and coming on too strong. Coming on too strong and seeming needy doesn't make it "easy for her". Instead, it creates problems for her having to manage your expectations and set up boundaries for herself. It would actually have been hard work for her. If you still see her socially, the only chance you have is to make it easy. Be chill but engaging. No expectations of her. (Don't expect her to answer texts straight away...that kind of thing) It's a long shot, but it's probably your only chance. 2
Drinkingoutofthecups Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 I totally blew it. I met this amazing girl but I got too excited and came on too strong, and maybe even seemed needy looking back on it. She stopped talking to me. I guess I made it too easy for her? It's been a week and I know I messed up. I would love to try to get her back but is it a lost cause at this point? Any suggestions please Thank you As the previous poster stated, what were things like beforehand? That'll play a role in advice. Is it going to be tough to win her back? Definitely. But I wouldn't say impossible. Do you see her around or is your primary means of communication through the phone? If you see each other in person, has she been avoiding you? If you talk mostly on the phone, then you may have to wait another week before trying to initiate contact if she hasn't already.
Marc878 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 If you chase they will move farther away. Always!!!! 3
Author memg4495 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 Not gunna lie she was a tinder date. But we just hit it off and made out at the end of our first date. Then we kept talking and she said how sweet she thought I was when I would send her a cute message here and there. Then I made the mistake of taking that ball and running with it. Looking back I was being too cute and I think she took it for weakness. And i guess I may have texted her too much without giving her enough space. I don't know I'm just spitballing at this point. We go to the same college but we don't really see each other because our schedules are very different. We're nearing the end of the semester and (back when she was talking to me) she told me she was going to be on vacation after the semester is over. So I wanted to know if I would be able to try to make a move before she goes away.
emsx0x Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 No. Hate to break it to you but you're donezo. Once a woman's interest level drops to below 50% there's almost no chance of getting it back. Women like a bit of a mystery and challenge. We tend (I know this is true because it's literally me) to like someone more if we're not sure how they feel about us. We're intrigued. 2
mikeylo Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 You shot yourself in the foot. Let go of this one and be more careful with the next. 1
basil67 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Looking back I was being too cute and I think she took it for weakness. How does being too cute translate to being seen as a weakness? I can see it being annoying....but weak? Nah. Being weak is about not enforcing your own boundaries. It's about being a pushover. 1
basil67 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Women like a bit of a mystery and challenge. We tend (I know this is true because it's literally me) to like someone more if we're not sure how they feel about us. We're intrigued. Of course, emsx0x only speaks for SOME women. A guy who's a mystery and a challenge sets off red flags for me and I'll head in the other direction. I will take WYSIWYG any day because I like relationships to be easy. Given that you seem a bit confused about how women think, I think it's important to point out that you should never take at face value advice which generalises the actions, beliefs or attitudes of a whole gender. 2
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Basically things got out of balance...you liked her more than she liked you....you can never recover from that. Plus things don't usually work out anyways....I don't believe in feelings or attraction "catches up". Being on the same page emotionally at the start is key.
preraph Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Also, I wouldn't get too hopeful when a new date calls you "sweet" or "cute." Those are kind of little boy descriptors and may reflect how she views you. Though I concede it all depends on the context. But in a new person who doesn't really have context....I'd be more hoping for something like, "You seem like an interesting man and I'd love to get to know you better."
Author memg4495 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 Also, I wouldn't get too hopeful when a new date calls you "sweet" or "cute." Those are kind of little boy descriptors and may reflect how she views you. Though I concede it all depends on the context. But in a new person who doesn't really have context....I'd be more hoping for something like, "You seem like an interesting man and I'd love to get to know you better." We got to know each other pretty well right away. She was the female version of me and vice versa. Part of the reason why im still hung up on her. She used to tell me "I love how sweet you are to me" and "I was so cute i think i melted a little bit." So thats why im thinking i mustve gotten annoying and played that card too much. Im trying to move past it and i already started talking to someone else but i cant get this one out of my mind
preraph Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Well, just don't make the same mistake again and allow yourself to get carried away too soon. You can fake it if necessary, but be measured in what you let out. Literally no one finds someone overly eager attractive and it sets off red flags because you do not know them well enough -- if you did you'd know this would scare them away! It's because it is desperate and too easy. And the really smart ones know that if you are carried away that early, that you're just in love with who you hope they'll be and the perfect woman in your head and not them -- because it takes a year or two to really know someone. Most people seem better on first meeting or three, out of trying hard.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Not gunna lie she was a tinder date. But we just hit it off and made out at the end of our first date. Then we kept talking and she said how sweet she thought I was when I would send her a cute message here and there. Then I made the mistake of taking that ball and running with it. Looking back I was being too cute and I think she took it for weakness. And i guess I may have texted her too much without giving her enough space. I don't know I'm just spitballing at this point. We go to the same college but we don't really see each other because our schedules are very different. We're nearing the end of the semester and (back when she was talking to me) she told me she was going to be on vacation after the semester is over. So I wanted to know if I would be able to try to make a move before she goes away. What does this mean, exactly? What did you say or do? 1
Author memg4495 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 What does this mean, exactly? What did you say or do? Like puppy love bullcrap. I called her gorgeous seemingly all the time. She would send me a snapchat when she was sick and id tell her how great she looked. I wasnt lying but i can see how annoying it could have been taken.
Drinkingoutofthecups Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Sounds like you just need a drink then drunk dial/text her. Let your emotions out and blame it on the alcohol.At least you'll get to talk to her and hell she might even appreciate the truth. A drunk man's words is a sober man's thoughts. Worked for my buddy. (While that's a true story, Im being facetious. Don't do that)
GemmaUK Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 Like puppy love bullcrap. I called her gorgeous seemingly all the time. She would send me a snapchat when she was sick and id tell her how great she looked. I wasnt lying but i can see how annoying it could have been taken. Yeah, that could come over badly. Pretty much like 'I have no real empathy for how you're feeling but I do care about how you look and you look gorgeous to me so all is well'. I've had the same kind of thing happen to me also with a guy - the expectation from him was that I was just sick but was still supposed to carry on with no rest for myself, no breaks, no early nights to recover - but hey, I was pretty so being ill was of no concern! Lol!
Author memg4495 Posted April 22, 2017 Author Posted April 22, 2017 Update: So i took a shot and messaged her earlier. I figured if i moved on or "pushed her away" we wouldnt be talking so i gave it one last shot. I said i know i got too eager about things and im sure i annoyed her. She said that we naturally clicked but that i did in fact get annoying. So i apologized and asked if she wanted to start over. Its been a few hours. I dont know if she is just testing me or what the case may be. Does it sound like i have a shot? I know shes getting ready and/or going into work now as she works the graveyard shift. Does it sound like theres a chance?
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