lvgrly Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 ok..we live together and we live about 27 hours away from where he is getting this new job, so we flew out here to arizona for him to have this interview with this new job, which we are still here and are flying back on sunday.. but anyway my question/concern is...is for a couple who is not married and has been together for less than a year and we are making a huge move together, I am just wondering if thats a good idea.. I think in my opinion it will either make us or break us..not only are we making this move together but we are also coming clean from pot together as well. its like we are doing all of these things for the first time for both of us, but only together. I hope that all works out with him and I, and I hope that hes who I am going to spend my life with..Im just curious if there is anything I should look out for as far as things going downhill, or some red flags that maybe I should watch out for?..?..? We have about a month before we actually move to get our stuff together, and finish the house and get it rented out..So we have a month to build our relationship even more. But if this matters, arizona is so beautiful, its about 115 today, but you walk outside in it, and you dont sweat, its just really dry..to me, it doesnt feel 115. Im from arkansas so it can be 96 and feel 110 with hellaious humidity...not like any of this matters..blah..
lost_in_chgo Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 You sure he's not trying to move away from you? People do that sometimes under the guise of getting a new job offer. Did *he* ask you to come along?
AnHonestGuy Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Oh please. He's NOT moving away from her. Arizona has some major growth potential these days and it would be in your best interest, especially if you love him, to go. Just remember that not everything lasts forever, but if he's got something going on, I would go with him, enjoy the ride, create some memories - If all goes well, you've got exciting times together!
Author lvgrly Posted August 1, 2005 Author Posted August 1, 2005 Oh lord no, He is in no shape or form trying to get away from me..We talked about it this weekend and he said that if he didnt think that this was going to work, he wouldnt have asked me to move with him.. So yes, that means he did ask me to move with him..Things are awesome with him and I, and I hope that we only grow from everything that we go through. Every day that goes by, its a learning experience..I wouldnt change it for the world. Thanks...
lost_in_chgo Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Originally posted by AnHonestGuy Oh please. He's NOT moving away from her. Arizona has some major growth potential these days and it would be in your best interest, especially if you love him, to go. Every major city has growth potential. Moving across the country is a major step and people putting their jobs higher in priority than their relationships is not uncommon. It is not specifically in anyones interest to go to Arizona because the streets are paved with gold. I've heard this story so many times it's sick. The trades are booming, let's go, oh wait too much imported labor, i can work, but not for what I was making. Lets move back. End result double move expense and loss of income. It would be in your best interest BECAUSE YOU LOVE EACH OTHER, not as an added perk to your job future. A little caution is a good thing. A major move is a big step. They say the most stressful things a person can go thru in life are divorce/marriage, changing jobs, and moving. You'd be doing at least 2 at once, so just be careful. And go if that's what you want to do.
Mary3 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 You both need to consider that you will both be moving away from family and friends ? If you both are, then that adjustment as well as a new city and new job will be consuming. But the fact that you have lived together and will live together in a new place should be fine. If you said you had never met him except once on a trip and then you both decided to move to Arizona , I would be concerned. But you know eachother pretty well. I think you will do fine. If you have any question in your future you can post here ( in regards to your question of warning signals that things might not be working ) . Good Luck
Author lvgrly Posted August 1, 2005 Author Posted August 1, 2005 Well, about 5 months ago, I moved from arkansas to be with him. I moved 10 hours away from my family to live with him. So the family thing on my part is fine. He and his sister are best friends pretty much, they all used to smoke pot for about 10 years together, well she quit, and he still did it. He finally quit about 3 weeks ago, and his sister and 3 other of our friends that we are always hanging out with started smoking again. He doesnt want to be around it. So I dont blame him for wanting to move to get away from it. Hes not just moving to AZ for the job, from the first day I met him he has always said the he wanted to move to AZ because his brother lives in phoenix,which is who we went to visit this past weekend. So its not just about the job with him. And as far as double income, yes..AZ is more expensive and yes it will be tight at first, but hes making about 15 an hour now, and this other job is going to pay him 25 an hour because its what he went to school for and its what he loves. He has already said that if he were to move out there making the same amount he made here, he wouldnt go. He is being smart about it.
Mary3 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 It sounds very good He and you will be creating a new life in a new town with great job prospects. I wish you both the best. If you do have any questions or just enjoy reading the boards here to see if you can help others thats great too. Good Luck
noname Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 first of all good luck... secondly, do it for you as well and not just him. if you are sure that the move would be good for you by yourself (your relationship withstanding) then you are good to go. too many people make steps in their lives base on "oh it would be so good for us" and "we this" and "we that". well that is a good quality but it needs to be balanced. make sure that it is something you would want to do even if he was out of the picture, and then you will be sure. otherwise, you may be opening yourself up for a lot of resentment... divorcing pot. my gosh, don't get too drastic now. get rid of the boyfriend before you start making decisions like that!!! just kidding. good luck...
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