sweetjess1951 Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 My gut says no, but wanted to get a second opinion. I matched with this guy on bumble about a month ago. He was chatty, but never asked me out. Finally, after having a few drinks in me this past weekend, I asked him if he was ever going to man up and ask me out. We exchanged numbers after that. I mentioned grabbing drinks this week and said I was available on Monday or Wednesday. He said Wednesday. I told him that would work, but I couldn't stay out too late, since I have a flight early the next morning. He never mentioned a time or place, so I asked him what he preferred (on Tuesday). He said "hmmm let me think about it", but never gave a time or place. He just continued to text me to make conversation and send me snapchats. Today is the day we are supposed to get drinks and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm assuming he will text me super last minute, and I want to decline. I was looking forward to finally meeting, especially since I'm out of town tomorrow through Sunday for vacay, and then out of town most of next week for work, but I'm not ok with him being inconsiderate of my time and not letting me know one way or another. It's rude. And if I decline tonight, should I give him another chance if he does ask to hang out?
Jj66 Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Personally, I would decline and say you hadn't heard anything so you assumed it was not going to happen. You will put him on notice about your expectations. If he then mans up and asks you out properly it would be ok to say yes next time if you want to. Or just write him off. Your choice. 2
Redhead14 Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 My gut says no, but wanted to get a second opinion. I matched with this guy on bumble about a month ago. He was chatty, but never asked me out. Finally, after having a few drinks in me this past weekend, I asked him if he was ever going to man up and ask me out. We exchanged numbers after that. I mentioned grabbing drinks this week and said I was available on Monday or Wednesday. He said Wednesday. I told him that would work, but I couldn't stay out too late, since I have a flight early the next morning. He never mentioned a time or place, so I asked him what he preferred (on Tuesday). He said "hmmm let me think about it", but never gave a time or place. He just continued to text me to make conversation and send me snapchats. Today is the day we are supposed to get drinks and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm assuming he will text me super last minute, and I want to decline. I was looking forward to finally meeting, especially since I'm out of town tomorrow through Sunday for vacay, and then out of town most of next week for work, but I'm not ok with him being inconsiderate of my time and not letting me know one way or another. It's rude. And if I decline tonight, should I give him another chance if he does ask to hang out? He let a month go by without asking you out and is now dodgy about actually meeting???? Last minute, especially, from this one is out of the question. Keep moving. 5
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 He let a month go by without asking you out and is now dodgy about actually meeting???? Last minute, especially, from this one is out of the question. Keep moving. Yep! It may not have been THAT long, but close enough. Plus, let me clarify. He did ask me to meet up a couple times, but it would be at 7pm on a Friday (or something like that). I would already have plans or most likely, already be at home, in my pajamas, after a long work week. It annoyed me that he was so last minute with asking to meet up. He would never properly ask me out. Only texting, making conversation to try and get to know me. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) My gut says no, but wanted to get a second opinion. I matched with this guy on bumble about a month ago. He was chatty, but never asked me out. Finally, after having a few drinks in me this past weekend, I asked him if he was ever going to man up and ask me out. We exchanged numbers after that. I mentioned grabbing drinks this week and said I was available on Monday or Wednesday. He said Wednesday. I told him that would work, but I couldn't stay out too late, since I have a flight early the next morning. He never mentioned a time or place, so I asked him what he preferred (on Tuesday). He said "hmmm let me think about it", but never gave a time or place. He just continued to text me to make conversation and send me snapchats. Today is the day we are supposed to get drinks and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm assuming he will text me super last minute, and I want to decline. I was looking forward to finally meeting, especially since I'm out of town tomorrow through Sunday for vacay, and then out of town most of next week for work, but I'm not ok with him being inconsiderate of my time and not letting me know one way or another. It's rude. And if I decline tonight, should I give him another chance if he does ask to hang out? I would say it depends somewhat on the circumstances. If you have no to very few men showing you interest on OLD and you reached out to a guy, and he's lukewarm, it might not be the greatest sign. OTOH, if you get healthy interest from a number of men, have no interest in most of them, and were proactive about keeping in the game with one of the few potential winners, then by all means ... pursue. I'd also say that you'd have absolutely nothing to lose even if it were the first scenario, but it's less favorable. What is the worst thing that could happen?? Edited April 19, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember
Miss Spider Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Dont do it! He doesn't wanna meet and he's not that interested. If he wanted to meet you, you never would have to ask him to ask you. He never would have "hmmm idk" and not solidified plans. Dont bother with flakes and rude guys. It will go nowhere. Find interested ones. 3
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 I would say it depends somewhat on the circumstances. If you have no to very few men showing you interest on OLD and you reached out to a guy, and he's lukewarm, it might not be the greatest sign. OTOH, if you get healthy interest from a number of men, have no interest in most of them, and were proactive about keeping in the game with one of the few potential winners, then by all means ... pursue. I'd also say that you'd have absolutely nothing to lose even if it were the first scenario, but it's less favorable. What is the worst thing that could happen?? I don't really have an issue with guys being interested. He was just someone that reached out to me. My concern is more that I find it rude for someone to not be considerate of my time, and when he picked Wednesday as the day to get together, and I asked him for a time/place and he still didn't give it to me, that's messed up.
Miss Spider Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Yep! It may not have been THAT long, but close enough. Plus, let me clarify. He did ask me to meet up a couple times, but it would be at 7pm on a Friday (or something like that). I would already have plans or most likely, already be at home, in my pajamas, after a long work week. It annoyed me that he was so last minute with asking to meet up. He would never properly ask me out. Only texting, making conversation to try and get to know me. Asking you out the night of. He wants a booty call lite sort of deal. I bet he's pretty good looking? Seems like most guys on Bumble are good looking where I'm at. . Too bad. Pls next him.
Jj66 Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 You have to say no. If you accept it the behavior will continue. 2
kendahke Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) My gut says no, but wanted to get a second opinion. I matched with this guy on bumble about a month ago. He was chatty, but never asked me out. Finally, after having a few drinks in me this past weekend, I asked him if he was ever going to man up and ask me out. We exchanged numbers after that. I mentioned grabbing drinks this week and said I was available on Monday or Wednesday. He said Wednesday. I told him that would work, but I couldn't stay out too late, since I have a flight early the next morning. He never mentioned a time or place, so I asked him what he preferred (on Tuesday). He said "hmmm let me think about it", but never gave a time or place. He just continued to text me to make conversation and send me snapchats. Today is the day we are supposed to get drinks and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm assuming he will text me super last minute, and I want to decline. I was looking forward to finally meeting, especially since I'm out of town tomorrow through Sunday for vacay, and then out of town most of next week for work, but I'm not ok with him being inconsiderate of my time and not letting me know one way or another. It's rude. And if I decline tonight, should I give him another chance if he does ask to hang out? I wouldn't for someone I had to chase down to ask them for the date because they couldn't be arsed to do it without me grabbing them by the ear and leading them to it. It's not like you're asking him to switch his insurance. That's pretty much a "yes" "no" question you put to him. His silence in the interim is deafening. He isn't showing you any interest that generates out of his own volition. That means he's not that into you. Edited April 19, 2017 by kendahke 2
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 (edited) I don't really have an issue with guys being interested. He was just someone that reached out to me. My concern is more that I find it rude for someone to not be considerate of my time, and when he picked Wednesday as the day to get together, and I asked him for a time/place and he still didn't give it to me, that's messed up. *shrugs* A lot of people do a lot of rude things. You're on here asking about whether you should go. If you're not starved for male attention, then there's something about him that intrigues you. I can say that with certainty because more women completely ignored my detailed messages that I spent hours crafting than I can count. I'm sure they didn't give it a second thought that they had an 'option' ... somewhere. So, it's up to you if what he has/potentially has going on is worth more than him being rude to people every now and then. Like I said, what do you have to lose? Edited April 19, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember
SevenCity Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 He doesn't seem very interested. If you were a guy and he was a woman I would say to not waste your time. Being a woman though he may just want sex. If you are ok with that it might be worth going as guys can have sex with you even if they don't like you. If you want something more substantial then I would pass.
JuneL Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 This guy has super low interest, or is super lazy. 1
leogirl876 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Don't give him another thought! If he's acting like this before you've officially met, what would he be like later on? Don't waste your time with men who aren't pursuing you and tracking you down! He's either super full of himself, got several women he's talking to, not very interested in you or all the above. None of those options are good and not dating material. This is my attitude, "you don't wanna go out with me? Wow, that's your effing loss!" 1
d0nnivain Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 If he doesn't care enough to ask you out in advance, you have no obligation to accept a last minute date. It's one thing if you get asked out last minute once in a while but it's a pattern of not trying with this guy.
Miss Spider Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Oh great:..did sweetjess give in and go out with him like I did with mine? We never learn
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