Gaeta Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 You love each other or you don't. Money is not everything in life but you 2 are making money being your top priority over your relationship and love. Years ago when I met my ex-husband I left everything behind and followed him 2000 miles away in a place I did not even speak the language. Right now I am in a relationship with a man that left everything behind at 48 to move to another continent. You 2 cannot be together because of a couple of states between you? Again, you love each other or you don't. 1
lucy_in_disguise Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 You seem to want everything on your terms without being willing to make any compromises. You say you won't do a long distance relationship, you won't move, and you haven't considered proposing to her so she can feel like she can depend on you if she stays. That's not love, that's convenience. 1
Author Jj66 Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 You seem to want everything on your terms without being willing to make any compromises. You say you won't do a long distance relationship, you won't move, and you haven't considered proposing to her so she can feel like she can depend on you if she stays. That's not love, that's convenience. That might be insightful if you were not wrong on all counts. 1. I didn't say I won't do a long distance relationship. I said I don't want to do a long distance relationship without a concrete plan of how we will eventually be together. I can do one temporarily. I am enough of a realist to know that a perpetual long distance relationship won't last. 2. I also didn't say I won't move. I legally can't move for two years because of my custody order. After that I'm willing to consider it. If my company would give me permission to work remotely, I would definitely move. They might. There is no reason my job cannot be done remotely and others have been given permission to work remotely for similar reasons in the past. 3. I proposed to her on May 8th. She said yes. We are going to decide together whether "we" should accept that job and what is our plan to be together both in the short term and long term. 1
Gaeta Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 3. I proposed to her on May 8th. She said yes. We are going to decide together whether "we" should accept that job and what is our plan to be together both in the short term and long term. Congratulations :-) 1
Popsicle Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 3. I proposed to her on May 8th. She said yes. We are going to decide together whether "we" should accept that job and what is our plan to be together both in the short term and long term. If there was no ring and no wedding date set, it may not be taken seriously at all. Just saying.... So, how did "Wednesday" turn out?
SevenCity Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Don't underestimate the power of a ring to a woman. You can be in an exclusive loving RL for years and it means absolutely crap to them. Marriage on the other hand represents commitment despite it only being a legal arrangement. I bet she would feel much different about your proposal if she was your fiancée or wife. As you can see from these boards it's not easy to find someone who you really connect with. I'm not saying to use it as a bribe but if you are thinking of marrying her, asking now would be a good time. My last RL would have likely not ended if I put a ring on her finger. Also, it will buy you valuable time - if you change your mind you can always break it off before marriage which likely wouldn't happen until she gets the job thing sorted anyway. 3. I proposed to her on May 8th. She said yes. We are going to decide together whether "we" should accept that job and what is our plan to be together both in the short term and long term. I love it when a plan comes together. Good move solider!
Author Jj66 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 If there was no ring and no wedding date set, it may not be taken seriously at all. Just saying.... So, how did "Wednesday" turn out? Wednesday turned out favorably. And, yes, we are really engaged. Family has been informed, she has a ring, and a wedding date has been set. One way or another we will be together full time by summer 2019 after my daughter graduates high school. Until then approx half time will have to suffice. She is taking the job in Florida. She has a 2 year contract and it is renewable at the University's at the end of the first academic year. If it is renewed I will try to get approval to work remotely from Florida full time. If it's not renewed or I cannot get approval to work remotely, she will start seeking a another job here. She will have a year to find one. 1
Popsicle Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Wednesday turned out favorably. And, yes, we are really engaged. Family has been informed, she has a ring, and a wedding date has been set. One way or another we will be together full time by summer 2019 after my daughter graduates high school. Until then approx half time will have to suffice. She is taking the job in Florida. She has a 2 year contract and it is renewable at the University's at the end of the first academic year. If it is renewed I will try to get approval to work remotely from Florida full time. If it's not renewed or I cannot get approval to work remotely, she will start seeking a another job here. She will have a year to find one. If you have to wait until your daughter graduates in summer 2019, doesn't that mean that you can not work remotely from florida in a year?
Author Jj66 Posted June 5, 2017 Author Posted June 5, 2017 (edited) If you have to wait until your daughter graduates in summer 2019, doesn't that mean that you can not work remotely from florida in a year? It means that I will be limited to actually reside in Florida no more than half time for the next two years regardless of what the company thinks my official residence is. My manager is perfectly fine with me working remotely on the down low... issues arise though if there is a reorganization and the new manager isn't keen on it. That's why I would seek official approval for a remote office after we know she is staying. They don't really care if I log on from Florida or Timbuktu as long as I am getting the work done and available when needed. Edited June 5, 2017 by Jj66
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