PinkDotsXOXO Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Hi all, Than you in advanced for all of your help! I started dating my boyfriend who I'll call "Andrew" about 2 and a half months ago. Everything in the beginning was great! I was really happy with him and he constantly went out of his way to make me happy. He treated me better than anyone has ever treated me and really went out of his way to get me very thoughtful birthday and Valentine's day gifts. He even came to my work to deliver flowers and lunch. His family has always been so great to me and I was finally getting to know them and feel comfortable around them! Things were going great, until i received a Facebook message from someone I didn't know. A girl sent me screenshots of my boyfriend and her talking on Tinder about a month after my boyfriend and I were officially together. She told me he had flirted with her and asked her to hangout. (I found this out on Easter which was also my birthday ) The girl said she had talked to him for a few days, until she looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship with me. When I confronted him he lied about having a Tinder and then lied abut talking to another girl. He finally admitted all but claimed he didn't remember asking her to hangout and doesn't know why he was even talking to her in the first place. He wants a second chance. I am at a crossroads now. I have ended it with him but have made a list of demands that he must do if he wants to be with me. I've asked him to write me a letter about why he did it and I ask him to go other random things that I can think of to prove his love for me. The only thing is I find myself not really being attracted to him as much anymore physically, mentally, emotionally. He is also a very private person but says he will open up more. I just feel like I can't trust him anymore even though I want to. I don't know how I can move past him going behind my back and doing this. Any advice is appreciated!! Btw I am 28 and he is about to be 29.
Zahara Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Two and a half months and you're already dealing with this sort of behavior. Keep moving on. Yes, he treats you so well and does nice things for you but people are usually on their best behavior during the honeymoon period. It makes perfect sense that he doesn't know why he was talking to her in the first place. I think when one signs themselves up on a dating site, they do know their intent. List of demands? Being in a committed relationship didn't create any boundary for him, so why would a list? You can make someone do ABC but if it's in their nature to be deceitful, a list and a letter isn't going to do much.
Maldives Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Hi all, Than you in advanced for all of your help! I started dating my boyfriend who I'll call "Andrew" about 2 and a half months ago. Everything in the beginning was great! I was really happy with him and he constantly went out of his way to make me happy. He treated me better than anyone has ever treated me and really went out of his way to get me very thoughtful birthday and Valentine's day gifts. He even came to my work to deliver flowers and lunch. His family has always been so great to me and I was finally getting to know them and feel comfortable around them! Things were going great, until i received a Facebook message from someone I didn't know. A girl sent me screenshots of my boyfriend and her talking on Tinder about a month after my boyfriend and I were officially together. She told me he had flirted with her and asked her to hangout. (I found this out on Easter which was also my birthday ) The girl said she had talked to him for a few days, until she looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship with me. When I confronted him he lied about having a Tinder and then lied abut talking to another girl. He finally admitted all but claimed he didn't remember asking her to hangout and doesn't know why he was even talking to her in the first place. He wants a second chance. I am at a crossroads now. I have ended it with him but have made a list of demands that he must do if he wants to be with me. I've asked him to write me a letter about why he did it and I ask him to go other random things that I can think of to prove his love for me. The only thing is I find myself not really being attracted to him as much anymore physically, mentally, emotionally. He is also a very private person but says he will open up more. I just feel like I can't trust him anymore even though I want to. I don't know how I can move past him going behind my back and doing this. Any advice is appreciated!! Btw I am 28 and he is about to be 29. Ask ureself this simple question can u trust him? Could you ever trust him again? Why do I wanna subject myself to mental torcher? I'll save you the heartache If you stay with him there's every chance he could do it again . Why because he's already demonstrated this dishonest behaviour. It's a deal breaker. Save yourself the potential heartache and trust issues. He's been exposed early on in the peice. Why would he want to go with other woman anyway when he's with you? You see where this is going theres no excuse for cheating I'd let him go. My ex cheated it's the weakest thing someone could do. I would severe my ties as hard as it is.
lady_a Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Kick him to the curb, girl. You deserve so much better. I had a similar situation a few years ago; guy I was dating started talking to another girl behind my back. When I found out, he claimed he would never do it again but several months later he did. I could have saved myself plenty of time and heartache if I had walked away the first time! You don't have to settle for that kind of behavior. I promise
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