greenicon Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 This question has most likely been asked in a variety of different ways but just wanted to put my own spin on it. My last breakup ( Nearly 4 months ago) was painful to say the least albeit there were no huge rows or nasty exchanges. There were differences of opinion obviously but like I say no horrid name calling or such like. What feels strange to me and maybe i'm a little different but does there come a point where people think i'm done with NC and just want to say the odd hello now and again. Being quite content that there is no reconciling to be had etc. i.e. When you have acceptance. Just a polite way of staying in touch - especially if you were friends before you met up which was the case for me so to speak. All the hardline advice points to NC for life and if you are to believe some of the online guys like Coach Corey Wayne (not a massive fan - sorry) that you go to ground forever. Really? I think in time you can certainly say hi without it being construded as anything else. I know every case is different but for me thr thought of staying in touch just now and again is ok. A girl I dated a year or so ago I am now good friends with. She has a partner and I am delighted for her so I know I can learn to deal with my feelings in time. Just seems to go against the grain of all the advice....
fromheart Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 If you are happy with the break up, felt you were treated fairly and don't want her back, then be friends. But don't be surprised if she doesn't feel the same way and has moved on with someone else. What Corey Wayne is getting at is not compromising your masculinity. If you're accepting a deal you don't want, that will weaken your male presence in the world. She and any other women will be repulsed by that.
Author greenicon Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 If you are happy with the break up, felt you were treated fairly and don't want her back, then be friends. But don't be surprised if she doesn't feel the same way and has moved on with someone else. What Corey Wayne is getting at is not compromising your masculinity. If you're accepting a deal you don't want, that will weaken your male presence in the world. She and any other women will be repulsed by that. I don't think anyone is ever 'happy' to break unless the circumstances are warranted. I was very sad to breakup but i'm trying to be mature and see reason with it all. This is the reason why i'm no fan of Corey W. I'd rather be seen as someone who shows humility as opposed to machismo type stuff. She may well have moved on and fair enough if she has and yes she may not feel like being platonic but bearing in mind I was the dumpee i'd like to think that I have at right to express my mind especially when there is no hidden agenda.
fromheart Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 You have to show care and humility to yourself first. Your going to look like a faithful old dog, coming back to the owner who kicked him out the door. Is that showing yourself humility? She'll see you as weak and wont feel safe around you. I get where your coming from and I've been there. Most of us are going to say, NC and there is a reason for it. Maybe its best that you find out yourself and see what happens...
Author greenicon Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 In all fairness you are most probably right. I get that it's the unwritten rule etc. Just feels odd at times. At the time of the break she said she wanted friends but I have not received one single communication. Maybe that was said to ease her guilt who honestly knows.
Ronnys93 Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 If you do reach out to be friends make sure that it's REALLY friends. That if she pulls in to ask you to get back, that SHE does the work this time. That's the only way, and you have to be prepared for her not to even respond to your outreach for friendship. I agree that showing humility and respect to yourself first is bottom line.
Author greenicon Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 If you do reach out to be friends make sure that it's REALLY friends. That if she pulls in to ask you to get back, that SHE does the work this time. That's the only way, and you have to be prepared for her not to even respond to your outreach for friendship. I agree that showing humility and respect to yourself first is bottom line. Thanks, you are absolutely right. There may be no response whatsoever to anything .Part of me thinks what the hell - nothing ventured etc. Part of me says leave it the hell.alone. Part of me thinks if there is a cold and laboured response then I know where I stand and I can possibly get some closure for me.
fromheart Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 In all fairness you are most probably right. I get that it's the unwritten rule etc. Just feels odd at times. At the time of the break she said she wanted friends but I have not received one single communication. Maybe that was said to ease her guilt who honestly knows. Usually to ease her guilt, break it off easily or keep you as an option. If you want more than friends, don't settle for less than what you want. If she has any hot friends or a hot sister, you could always ask her to hook you up, as that's what friends do for one another. I've been hitting on one of my exs best friends recently, she's in a different country but I should be meeting her later in the year. And I'm looking forward to that. Remember, nice guys come last....
Recommended Posts