justwhoiam Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 we see eachother twice a week It doesn't sound like a long-distance relationship. How far are you from one another? Anyway, the problem is easily solvable. Don't initiate contact for a month and see what happens.
Author shahjskalio Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 I've been dating a guy for 2 months. We've been seeing eachother every week and he told me he liked me alot and even loved me and I did feel he connection. But yesterday I found out he's on dating apps and talking to women and even met up with someone else while we were seeing eachother. So I got mad and told him I don't want to s3e him anymore and he's a player and I am on a dating app too and he saw me on it yesterday or aorta got upset but he was the one talking to people first and it's not fair. And he is fine with not seeing me anymore and just said ok and now I feel guilty and awful and used. How do I stop feeling so terrible ? He played me
Space Ritual Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 The worst Four Letter word....TIME. You are just as entitled as anyone else as to what you see and a boundary and a deal breaker. You need not feel bad. As a matter of fact, you should feel a sense of relief. He showed you who he was at only 2 months. Imagine how crushed you would have been had you been dating 2 years and this happened? 2
Author shahjskalio Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 The worst Four Letter word....TIME. You are just as entitled as anyone else as to what you see and a boundary and a deal breaker. You need not feel bad. As a matter of fact, you should feel a sense of relief. He showed you who he was at only 2 months. Imagine how crushed you would have been had you been dating 2 years and this happened? Thank you so much for your advice! I love you❤
Space Ritual Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 The best advice i can give you and it is advice to carry in the future is to make people like this guy insignificant. By that I mean blocking him on any and all forms of communication, Social media, etc. You gave him a chance and he blew it. You must always remember to love yourself enough that you will never stand for anyone treating you like you don't matter. Always regard yourself as THE PRIZE, and it is his loss he didn't understand that. A vast difference from when I was young is back then there was no such thing as the internet, so people like me had a totally different experience in dating than your generation does. Your generation has a whole other array of problems that seem to be exacerbated by electronic media, and the instant gratification the medium gives somebody. What you should always remember is that people on those sites are always trying to put their best foot forward to as many people as hey can so hey have a large dating pool. The problem with hat s there usually is a lot of embellishment that goes along with it. Thus you may never really get to know somebody as well as you think you do. So in closing, please make this dummy insignificant,and don't worry about what he does, who he talks to. etc. The goal is to reach the point of being totally not affected by the thought of him in any manner. Because the true opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. 1
Author shahjskalio Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 The best advice i can give you and it is advice to carry in the future is to make people like this guy insignificant. By that I mean blocking him on any and all forms of communication, Social media, etc. You gave him a chance and he blew it. You must always remember to love yourself enough that you will never stand for anyone treating you like you don't matter. Always regard yourself as THE PRIZE, and it is his loss he didn't understand that. A vast difference from when I was young is back then there was no such thing as the internet, so people like me had a totally different experience in dating than your generation does. Your generation has a whole other array of problems that seem to be exacerbated by electronic media, and the instant gratification the medium gives somebody. What you should always remember is that people on those sites are always trying to put their best foot forward to as many people as hey can so hey have a large dating pool. The problem with hat s there usually is a lot of embellishment that goes along with it. Thus you may never really get to know somebody as well as you think you do. So in closing, please make this dummy insignificant,and don't worry about what he does, who he talks to. etc. The goal is to reach the point of being totally not affected by the thought of him in any manner. Because the true opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Thank you so so so so much for your advice!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ You're the greatest!!!!!!! It sucks how we get attached to such terrible people and lose sleep over them
Author shahjskalio Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 We were dating even though he really liked me he told me he's a player. What does it mean? If he actually liked me why is he still a player?
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 He may be lying but for now take it as a warning. He does not want a commitment. Do not give him your heart. He likes you right now, but 6 months from now he will probably find a shiny new toy. 3
elaine567 Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 If he is telling you he is a player then he probably has many other women he is seeing/sleeping with at the same time as you or he will leave suddenly if he sees someone he likes better. A player flits from woman to woman and sex is usually the driver. Players are also very good at telling women what they want to hear in order to get what they want. 2
Miss Spider Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 (edited) It either means he is trying to impress you in the most cringeworthy way possible or it means he is warning you he is not going to be exclusively committed to you. Either way he is a chowder head not worth a second more of your time Edited May 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
Redhead14 Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 He's being honest and giving you a heads up that you should not expect to have a relationship with him and if you decide to continue seeing him it will be at your own risk and on HIS schedule and you will be stringing yourself along . . . Even players don't date women they don't like at least. The guy may be a player but he's an honest one. Believe him. 1
BaileyB Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 He's telling you not to trust him. He's still interested in playing the field and he's not ready to commit to a relationship. Believe him when he says this, and set your expectations accordingly. 1
stillafool Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 Where are you from that you've never heard of a Player? If he is actually telling you he is one and he is you need to run. He doesn't even care enough to lie about it. Most Players try to hide this fact. 1
Poutrew Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 Let's see, you are both on dating apps, and seeing other people behind each others backs, yet you feel disabused because your boyfriend did it first and got more action faster than you? Sounds to me as if you both have enough in common to make your relationship work out (sarcasm)... 1
smackie9 Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 He can like you without wanting commitment....like you enough to sleep with you. 2
Author shahjskalio Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 Let's see, you are both on dating apps, and seeing other people behind each others backs, yet you feel disabused because your boyfriend did it first and got more action faster than you? Sounds to me as if you both have enough in common to make your relationship work out (sarcasm)... Nope. He was on the apps first then I went on when I realized he was on and told him I don't want to see him anymore. 1
Author shahjskalio Posted May 11, 2017 Author Posted May 11, 2017 Thanks for you advice! Still trying to get over the guilt and feelings I have for him:/
sweetgirl75 Posted May 11, 2017 Posted May 11, 2017 I can relate to being with a player. But you got away from him. You were stronger than I was. I knew he was doing crap behind my back but I had been in a little dry dating spell and he was a charmer and knew all the right words to say. I wish I had your strength to have left my jackass guy at two months and not a year later. I just give way too many chances but not anymore. I wont settle anymore. You will have feelings for a while. Please try to not feel guilty. He was the one who messed up 1
Krtk Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Thanks for you advice! Still trying to get over the guilt and feelings I have for him:/ What is the reason for your guilt anyway you must be happy you find his trueself in short period of time before going any further in this relationship and feelings for him will fade away once you started to move on he didn't have a good reason to stay in your mind just think how he tried to play you for a fool you'll be fine without him. 1
Author shahjskalio Posted May 17, 2017 Author Posted May 17, 2017 So the guy I used to date is dating now and we stopped dating because he knew I wanted something serious so he doesn't want to date me. Why is he dating others but no want to date me? Isn't dating pretty much like a relationship?
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 No. Dating is casual. There are no expectations & no commitment. A relationship is exclusive & more serious. 4
todreaminblue Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 for me dating is a form of a relationship that is temporary..dating is a commitment in my eyes to get to know the guy in line with that i date with a view to permanency, expectations limited to respect and honesty.....and hopefully good times...i would commit to do my best to have that happen....and i do ...but groping and disrespect nulls all future dating...so my expectations are to be respected and to respect the guy i date..for them to be better off knowing me than not and vice versa......deb 1
basil67 Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Agree with what has been written so far. Dating is an informal thing. 1
ItIsNotMe Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 So the guy I used to date is dating now and we stopped dating because he knew I wanted something serious so he doesn't want to date me. Why is he dating others but no want to date me? Isn't dating pretty much like a relationship? Relationship = dating + feelings + trust + etc., etc. Obviously, his needs include only the first component. No emotional attachment, no thinking of your common future. Just physical attraction and having a good time with you. You knew that he has known that you want "something serious" and he has had a different point of view. Why are you surprised at all? 1
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