smile95 Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 I have a question...is it possible that I cannot let go of my ex becasue I know in my heart and in his, we love each other very much? Does it mean anything that I cannot let go? Or is this a normal feeling for people breaking up. Overall out timing sucks and has caused us to break up. Not other man for me, no other woman for him. I just have this feeling in my heart one say it will work out with us. I have never fel this in the past with anyone else and that is why I wonder. Does everyone feel this way? We had such a connection that I cannot seem to get past. I am talking to other guys, but it is not the same as it was with him. I see people saying they hate their ex and they want horrible things to happen and they want to turn them down if given the chance-I feel none of that. I would never want to hurt him. The hardest part is letting go of someone you love(knowing they love you). I guess if it is meant to be, one day the timing will be right. Overall, my question is......does everyone feel this much love for an ex after a breakup? What if the feeling never ends?
AleroGurl Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 ur not alone...i feel the same about my ex. we went thru ALOT of crap in the 4.5 years we've known each other. ive never felt this way about anyone before and dont know if i ever will again. but i feel like someday we will get back together but he did hurt me alot and i prolyl would go back with him if he wanted to be with me again... so yes i feel that m uch love for my ex. part of me wishes i didnt bc it hurts way too much to deal with. and if the feeling never ends...then im in for alot of longs days but if u know he loves you too, sure! maybe it will work out. but you cant sit home and focus ur entire life on waiting for him...ifhe loves u as much as u say he does, then go to him. talk to him about this. dont let days go by wehn ur not with each other if u both want each other!!!
d'Arthez Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 I have a question...is it possible that I cannot let go of my ex becasue I know in my heart and in his, we love each other very much? Does it mean anything that I cannot let go? It means something. But not that you love him, but are obsessed with him. Considering the nature of the relationship, that is easily imaginable. The explanation you offer for yourself, seems to be a rationalization, a justification of your thoughts and inability to let go of him. Or is this a normal feeling for people breaking up. It is a normal feeling to some extent in a lot of relationships, as it is hard to comprehend sometimes why that particular relationship did not work out. Especially if you have an image of perfection in your head. But through the course of time, you will slowly start to disassemble that image, and the flaws of the person will come to the fore. The flaws, that led to the downfall of the relationship. Overall out timing sucks and has caused us to break up. Not other man for me, no other woman for him. Technically he is not even divorced. And yes it can happen, that both persons have not someone else lined up already. But that does not mean, that a relationship between the two of you could work, even under the healthiest of conditions. Considering his behavior, you'd have a better chance of having a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with a squirrel, than with him. I just have this feeling in my heart one say it will work out with us. I have never fel this in the past with anyone else and that is why I wonder. Again, this is in all likelihood a rationalization to justify your feelings. You can believe this, because you don't know him from upclose, for an extended period of time. You met him, on quite a number of occasions, but I have the impression that his behavior was a lot better when you were near him, than when you were away from him. Does everyone feel this way? We had such a connection that I cannot seem to get past. I am talking to other guys, but it is not the same as it was with him. That is fairly normal. Not everyone is as great for you; but again, you ascribe greatness on him, due to the nature of the relationship you had, and not because he possessed the qualities you ascribe to him. I see people saying they hate their ex and they want horrible things to happen and they want to turn them down if given the chance-I feel none of that. I would never want to hurt him. And there is nothing wrong with that. But that does not mean that the relationship between you and him is bound to work out, or can even work out. The hardest part is letting go of someone you love(knowing they love you). I guess if it is meant to be, one day the timing will be right. Overall, my question is......does everyone feel this much love for an ex after a breakup? What if the feeling never ends? Yes, it is very hard to let go. The answer to your first question is no. But I must also warn you that this is not love. And the feeling will end, but it requires a bit of time, and it requires of you that you realize who and what your ex really is. It requires, that you become happy with yourself. It is hard work in all, but you must do it.
Author smile95 Posted July 30, 2005 Author Posted July 30, 2005 You are awesome d'Arthez. Had a confusing day and reading that put me back in my place! Thanks! I am really hoping this will all fade. It has to if I continue NC. I can already tell I am doing better. Of course I miss him and his voice and all that mushy crap, but I honestly can say I have not cried since Monday! And that may seem like nothing, but I bet in the lasat yr, 90% of those 365 days were ones full of tears. So this IS progress.
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