atenuousdream Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 I posted a while back about a man whom I'd met about 6 months ago online, hit it off with via emails for about a month, and then he decided to return to his ex. He resurfaced about 2 months later and I stupidly engaged in about a 7-week dating spree with him. He pursued me hard, I fell fast, and then he flipped a switch, said he wanted a relationship with me but wasn't over his ex. I handled it poorly. I sent several long texts to him about how I liked him but understood his position, could we be friends, yadda yadda yadda. He ignored me for about a week before giving me a phone call. We chatted amicably, he told me he wasn't over his ex of 4 months (so short!), that he dreamt about her, thought about her all the time.. it was really great to hear that lol. I guess she just up and disappeared on him last time. He never said it out loud but it became very apparent to me that I was a rebound for him. He told me he really appreciated how kind and understanding I've been the whole time and that he felt terrible for doing this to me. We agreed to be friends, he even mentioned me being his partner in a canoe race next month. He friended me on FB and I accepted (yippee!) 2 days later I found myself looking at a picture of him and his ex on FB was like "Nope, can't be friends, I'm still way too into him." I sent him a detailed message on FB saying I still had feelings for him, not his fault, but I couldn't be friends and had to go my own way. I unfriended him and that was that. Anyhow... this was about a week ago. I'm not sure if I should start dating again or wait. I still think about him all the time, I get sad a lot.. clearly not over him. Would I be doing the same thing to the men I date if I started going on dates right now? I've been on one date with a guy and while he was great, the whole time I kept thinking "He's not him." :/ My gut says I should step back from dating and just work on myself.. I know we didn't date long but he was definitely someone I will miss.
Titanll Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 On one hand, you could waste some great guy's time if you are not clear with your intentions but I have to assume that you will be so dating at this point may be fine. On the other hand, why wait? You and guy one are going nowhere. Put yourself back out there and date again. In the end, only you know if you're ready to date again. But there is a lot to be said for getting right back on a horse after being bucked...not the same horse again as you just did, haha! Find a new horse this time.
Author atenuousdream Posted April 22, 2017 Author Posted April 22, 2017 On one hand, you could waste some great guy's time if you are not clear with your intentions but I have to assume that you will be so dating at this point may be fine. On the other hand, why wait? You and guy one are going nowhere. Put yourself back out there and date again. In the end, only you know if you're ready to date again. But there is a lot to be said for getting right back on a horse after being bucked...not the same horse again as you just did, haha! Find a new horse this time. Oh yeah, I mean I know that guy 1 is out of the picture... but I'm really quite a mess after it. I actually think I'm going to take a break from dating and work on myself. I need to learn how to find men who are AVAILABLE - this is the third guy in a row who was emotionally unavailable.
stillafool Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 I've been on one date with a guy and while he was great, the whole time I kept thinking "He's not him." :/ My gut says I should step back from dating and just work on myself.. I know we didn't date long but he was definitely someone I will miss. Now you know how he feels. He appreciates and enjoys you but you are not her. Yes I would put dating on hold if you still have strong feelings for this guy. Do not wait for him to get over his ex as he may not and they may end up back together. Just move on.
smackie9 Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 I didn't even have to read it......get out and date and do not wait for him to come around...you will thank me later.
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