Andrew91 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Hi guys, so... a few days ago I've found out that my girlfriend has booked an holiday to Greece for her and the ex. I didn't know anything about it and I've found the confirmation on Booking.com. She told me she was going to see her ex while away for 10 days (she was going back to see her family), because they're still friends. What she forgot to tell me is that they're going to Greece together for an entire week. I'm not even worried that she's going to sleep with him, to be honest. I think she won't do it. What is worrying me is... she thinks is the victim here. Let me just tell what SHE thinks about the all situation: She's the one who's suffering for this, because it's going to be difficult to see her ex after months. (As far as I'm concern, she's the one who decided to see her ex. Am I missing something?) She's complaining with me because she'll even have to go on holiday with him! (Do you get it, guys? I'm not the one who should be mad and hurt for the fact that my girlfriend is going on vacation with her ex. I need to have pity for her, because she'll suffer far more than me by going on holidays with him). I told her 'if you go, I'm going away the day after and I'll come back when I feel like it'. She got upset and told me not to book the flight, because her ex might decide to not go on holiday with her... and in that case we'll go together. I mean... am I your last option or something?! If you want to go on holiday with me, do it. Don’t wait for him to cancel the trip with you. This is so disrespectful that I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. She got mad at me about the all situation. That’s right. She said I don’t deserve anything because she gave me 95% of her and I’m still complaining because she wants to give the 5% left to her ex. Not only I shouldn’t complain and be hurt and sad about all of this… I should also stop to pretend that I deserve the 100% from her. Guys, I mean… what she’s doing is really upsetting and all of that, but what is not making me sleep at night is her ‘logic’ (or whatever you might call it). Why? I mean, why? Every person I told this couldn’t believe the all situation. She’s so manipulative that she turned a bad thing that she did in something where she’s the one suffering and I’m the ******* of the all situation. Again… why? Thank you guys!
RWn Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Wow, I am really sorry you are going through this. I know that in some instances people remain friends with exes. I have one or two who I am friendly with. One of those recently visited Switzerland for work and, as I study here, of course I thought we should catch up when he asked. I spoke to my then boyfriend about it before deciding, to ask if it would be alright for him. I explained that we were on friendly terms, and a coffee to chat would be nice, particularly with him visiting a country he wasn't familiar with. Of course, as it was all out in the open, my boyfriend was totally fine with it and it all worked well. Your girlfriend has not done this in any kind of way which shows any respect for you at all. To start with, it doesn't even seem as if there's a basis of friendship with the ex for a holiday to be reasonable. She shot herself in the foot with that idea when she groaned about how awkward it would be. Unless it is totally platonic, which it clearly isn't, as otherwise there wouldn't be awkwardness, it's unnacceptable. It's cruel, totally thoughtless, absurd and frankly f**ked up. Her playing the victim is just the icing on the cake. There's a saying: the minute you have to prove your worth to someone is the time to utterly and totally walk away. By making you her second choice, her plan B, after her ex of all people, she is putting you in this situation. Either she is aware of what she is doing, and doing it anyway, which says that she doesn't particularly care for you whatever she may claim, that she is astonishingly selfish and actively cruel... or she cannot understand what she is doing wrong. Which, I do not wish to offend at all but... suggests a lack of brain function and common sense. I am really sorry but I think you are worth much more than staying with someone who is happy to treat you like this. There are plenty of kind, sane, gentle women out there who understand that loving someone is treating them with respect and compassion. Staying with someone who treats you like this is just wasting all the time you could be finding someone with values the same as yours. All the best and I am truly sorry.
Gaeta Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 The 'why' does not matter. You know now she is not the type of woman you want to be in a relationship with. Game over. If you accept this situation I am sorry to say but you are the weakest link here. 6
kendahke Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Book your flight and go even if her so-called ex cancels on her. She's made a choice about your standing in her life and it's behind her lies of deception and this ex of hers. She booked his flight--not the other way around--so that means she's engineering this rendezvous. Not to mention, she didn't tell you about it when she was booking it. You found out after the fact. What would have happened had you not found/mentioned you found out about this booking? She'd have been lying to you the whole way, leading you to believe something that is not true. She’s so manipulative and you'd be best served steering clear of manipulative people who lie. she and her ex deserve one another, so let her go be with him. Liars are best kept out of your life. I hope you don't live with this chick. _ Read the tag line | | V Edited April 18, 2017 by kendahke 4
doyathinkso Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Are you happy being her Plan B? Her second choice? If not, then she should become YOUR ex.
Ieris Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 She sounds dumb and what's worse is that she is treating you as if you're dumb. Dump her fast. 2
fromheart Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Wow. Next you'll be told how you should feel sorry for her, as she feels so bad and guilty of sleeping with her ex. She'll make it out to be your fault. Get away from this controlling, toxic and hypocritical person now.
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) You got me at the first paragraph......RED FLAG....dump her accordingly. IMO doesn't matter if they are buddies and it's all innocent.....it's NOT appropriate to go on a trip with an ex lover, BF/GF, etc. It's disrespectful. I'm sure if the tables were turned she would just lose it. She fails. Edited April 18, 2017 by smackie9 1
coolheadal Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Hi guys, so... a few days ago I've found out that my girlfriend has booked an holiday to Greece for her and the ex. I didn't know anything about it and I've found the confirmation on Booking.com. She told me she was going to see her ex while away for 10 days (she was going back to see her family), because they're still friends. What she forgot to tell me is that they're going to Greece together for an entire week. I'm not even worried that she's going to sleep with him, to be honest. I think she won't do it. What is worrying me is... she thinks is the victim here. Let me just tell what SHE thinks about the all situation: She's the one who's suffering for this, because it's going to be difficult to see her ex after months. (As far as I'm concern, she's the one who decided to see her ex. Am I missing something?) She's complaining with me because she'll even have to go on holiday with him! (Do you get it, guys? I'm not the one who should be mad and hurt for the fact that my girlfriend is going on vacation with her ex. I need to have pity for her, because she'll suffer far more than me by going on holidays with him). I told her 'if you go, I'm going away the day after and I'll come back when I feel like it'. She got upset and told me not to book the flight, because her ex might decide to not go on holiday with her... and in that case we'll go together. I mean... am I your last option or something?! If you want to go on holiday with me, do it. Don’t wait for him to cancel the trip with you. This is so disrespectful that I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. She got mad at me about the all situation. That’s right. She said I don’t deserve anything because she gave me 95% of her and I’m still complaining because she wants to give the 5% left to her ex. Not only I shouldn’t complain and be hurt and sad about all of this… I should also stop to pretend that I deserve the 100% from her. Guys, I mean… what she’s doing is really upsetting and all of that, but what is not making me sleep at night is her ‘logic’ (or whatever you might call it). Why? I mean, why? Every person I told this couldn’t believe the all situation. She’s so manipulative that she turned a bad thing that she did in something where she’s the one suffering and I’m the ******* of the all situation. Again… why? Thank you guys! Oh boy Andrew, man you tolerate too much. I know you love this girl but frankly she's doesn't appreciate the fact your mean so much to her. At the end of the day she's with you and not him. You and her are not married, not engaged, so you either drop and leave and cut your lost with her or you just stick it out with her. I would stick it out because she loves you too. She has to get over the Ex one day. She my never do. You can do what you want. See she got upset when you told her you could do something else when she was gone off with her Ex. So there is that to consider also. Place your deck of cards but she's the loser here, as your the winner keep up the upper hand on her, if you want to keep her in your life. But don't tolerate too much of her odd behavior too long. Can drive you insane.. I've been there and done that myself.. Why do I put up with well it depends how much I have invested into the relationship, time, life, money etc.. Lost it would have blown it for me many times. You know the person for years and yet you feel some sort of connection with them. Edited April 18, 2017 by coolheadal 1
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