Kelti3 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 I messaged a guy I browsed on a dating website; sent him a chatty, friendly email. At the end of the email, i let him know that my subscription was expiring, and encouraged him to email me at my email address if he would like to talk with me. Several days passed; I could see he was on and off the website every day, but my message went ignored. I gave up hearing from him. Then a week later I got an alert that he had emailed me via the dating site. Which I thought was odd because i explicitly told him I could not write him back via that website!. Still, I logged in, and decided to pay again to read it (ugh..what can you do). The letter was a few short paragraphs, casual and friendly sounding, but not asking me any questions about myself and instead keeping things to almost professionally polite tone. Hard to read his interest level...he thanked me for various compliment I paid him, and agreed with me on other things I had said, but ultimately nothing in the email expressed interest to know me better. At the end of it he said he "hoped I had a good weekend." Question: 1) do men every send "duty" replies? Like could this just be a duty email, because I had sent him a long nice message and he didn't want to seem rude? Or does it always indicate interest when a man takes time to write? 2), I was very clear that I could not write him back on that website, and gave him my email address, which he didn't use. It's odd to me that he would write me back in a place where he knew I might not even read the message or reply to it. Why not use my email? See question 1.... is he not even wanting another reply from me?
MoreThanThat Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 People do things for all kinds of reasons. Him not emailing him at your email might be a trust issue. There are so many con artists on sites.
todreaminblue Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 be careful....bots are often used on dating sites to encourage people to renew subscriptions the tonal quality the reply letter back sounds like it could be a bot..and after seven days etc.....close to the time your subscription expired or expires i am guessing......dating sites ...yeah i dont have much faith and i get a feeling about bots.or automatic letters....any site where you have to actually pay to reply......proceed with caution....deb 2
GemmaUK Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 I'm not at all surprised he didn't use your email address to reply - he doesn't know you so for all he knows your email addy could have bombarded him with viruses. Sounds like a courtesy reply to me - or maybe to figure out if you are a bot. Can't blame him, I wouldn't have responded at all to be honest. 1
angel.eyes Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 ...ultimately nothing in the email expressed interest to know me better. At the end of it he said he "hoped I had a good weekend." He's not interested. If he were, he would engage you in the conversation, ask you questions, and most importantly, ask to meet you for a date. He did none of that. Keep looking. Eventually, you'll meet someone with whom there is mutual interest. 3
Erik30 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 He was probably just trying to be nice. Most guys know what it's like to be ignored on dating sites, so he might have felt guilty about doing it himself. Also it seems like he didn't use email because he's not interested in any further contact, and there's always a chance he was thinking you might be a fake profile. Bots/fake profiles often ask you to contact them through others channels than the dating site in their first message
Titanll Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 He has little interest in you. Much less than you have in him. This "duty" reply as you call it is what I call being polite. In my experience, men are much more polite than women in many cases. In an OLD environment, I will give a polite reply to a woman that I have zero interest in. My reasoning is this: she took her time to contact me and I want to give her a small thank you for doing so. Simple courtesy, that's all. Women are not as courteous in that environment, in my opinion. Maybe they feel it's an escalation of sorts and ignoring the person is warranted. Who knows, who cares. He replied on the site even after you told him you would no longer be there because it was simple and easy for him to do and he, at this point, isn't ready to take it offline with you. Simple.
Author Kelti3 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Posted April 18, 2017 be careful....bots are often used on dating sites to encourage people to renew subscriptions the tonal quality the reply letter back sounds like it could be a bot..and after seven days etc.....close to the time your subscription expired or expires i am guessing......dating sites ...yeah i dont have much faith and i get a feeling about bots.or automatic letters....any site where you have to actually pay to reply......proceed with caution....deb Thanks to everyone for your replies... I am quite certain he doesn't think I had a fake profile. I wrote him an engaging email based on various relevant bits of info about his interests, and the unique things we have in common. I also included a link to my website (I own a business), which he did check out, and even complimented me on it. The website has photos of me that match the ones on my profile...I highly doubt he thinks I'm a bot or scammer. Anyway, it seems y'all back up my conclusion that he was being polite but not interested. That's kinda all I wanted to know. It just helps me to move on. Thanks everyone 1
todreaminblue Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Thanks to everyone for your replies... I am quite certain he doesn't think I had a fake profile. I wrote him an engaging email based on various relevant bits of info about his interests, and the unique things we have in common. I also included a link to my website (I own a business), which he did check out, and even complimented me on it. The website has photos of me that match the ones on my profile...I highly doubt he thinks I'm a bot or scammer. Anyway, it seems y'all back up my conclusion that he was being polite but not interested. That's kinda all I wanted to know. It just helps me to move on. Thanks everyone i was meaning him actually.....not you...smilin....but im glad you clarified his responses to you and the fact he checked out your business page... thanks and i wish you well....deb
coolheadal Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 Thanks to everyone for your replies... I am quite certain he doesn't think I had a fake profile. I wrote him an engaging email based on various relevant bits of info about his interests, and the unique things we have in common. I also included a link to my website (I own a business), which he did check out, and even complimented me on it. The website has photos of me that match the ones on my profile...I highly doubt he thinks I'm a bot or scammer. Anyway, it seems y'all back up my conclusion that he was being polite but not interested. That's kinda all I wanted to know. It just helps me to move on. Thanks everyone He's not interested in you, but he did ask you about your weekend. The rule of thumb on OLD is that a lot of Western African women with fake accounts always give the email as a way to beg for money to travel to see the client/victim. So he might have figured your email was going to be used for that. You should never send your email or cell phone unless he agrees in advance that he will contact you. But listen they're on OLD and going to use OLD chat or messaging system instead over the email outside the OLD system. This guy isn't into you so you need to move on and find one that is..
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