preraph Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 It sounds like it's going well. So congrats. I think the main things to remember about moms is they are super busy. Does she also work? If yes, then it's like two full-time jobs. So you have to respect her schedule and be on time, not early, not late, and not get upset when she chooses to drive her kid clear across town to karate instead of go out with you (my best friend does this to me a lot and it drives me nuts, but I zip it.) And most of all, and really it's true of any woman, listen to what she says or what she hints at if she's not direct. If she says she's tired and you have plans, ask her if she needs to change plans or delay them. You probably haven't been allowed to meet the kids yet, and that's fine. But once you have some house privileges, do any little thing you can to help her out. Even now, if you're talking to her and she says something like, "Well, I may have time later but right now I've got to go pick up milk," offer to bring milk and let her come out to the car and get it before the date or just anything helpful. And lastly, every now and then just ask her how her kids are doing and show some interest in their hobbies, but being new, don't act TOO interested or you know it might come off creepy. Just when she mentions soccer or something, say "Does your other girl play too" or just acknowledge the subject.
curiouslysearching Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Thanks all for the great advice. I think the keys I heard are slow, steady, confident, fun, be understanding, and don't push. Got it! Tomorrow is another scary movie night for us. Don't be scared Dash just have FUN...never underestimate just having fun and laughing. Wonderful dinners, movies, long walks on the beach or in the mountains are all still ok to enjoy (at least I think they are). You are on a good path it seems so enjoy the journey and never forget to SMILE...
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 Well, not neccessarily. I'm a single mom to a 6 year old and my boyfriend of over a year has not met her yet. If anything, I feel like I'm more careful about who I introduce and how serious I get in a relationship now when she's young than I would be when she's more grown up. That being said, what I expect in a relationship - don't push to meet my child, don't meddle in parenting, be understanding of my schedule, the fact that I can't be spontaneus and my lack of free time and be understanding of the fact that my child comes first in every situation. This is exactly why it's a pain to date single parents. Don't push me this, don't say a word about parenting, you will never be a priority and so on. I understand that the child comes first, but if someone waited a year to introduce me to their child, I would be long gone.
JuneL Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 (edited) I am normally attracted to guys a few years older, so the guys I am open to dating are in their 40s and divorced, most likely with kids. I personally love kids and am very close to my small niece and my little nephew from my older siblings. However, I will be honest: I will only get into a serious relationship with someone whose kids are not too young (someone whose kids are at least teenagers, preferably at least 15) and who has no more than two kids. But this is a very personal choice. Edited April 23, 2017 by JuneL
noelle303 Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 This is exactly why it's a pain to date single parents. Don't push me this, don't say a word about parenting, you will never be a priority and so on. I understand that the child comes first, but if someone waited a year to introduce me to their child, I would be long gone. It is a pain to date a single parent, I completely understand and accept that it's not for everyone. I am unapologetic about the fact that my daughter is my priority instead of a boyfriend. FYI, he has no issues with this situation, he wouldn't mind meeting her but it's not something that he needs to do. Neither him nor I want him to be a father figure of any kind. DashRirock - I'm really sorry about this latest development, it sounds awful and heartbreaking for this woman. I think your plan is really good, I would simply add that maybe it wouldn't hurt that you also make sure she knows that she can talk to you about her daughter any time she needs to. Because while I'm sure it's great for her to take her mind of things and do fun stuff without being treated differently, there are definitely times when it's eating her up inside.
Author DashRiprock Posted April 23, 2017 Author Posted April 23, 2017 Thanks all for the thoughts and advice. Noelle303, good point. I made it clear she can talk to me and I will (just) listen. I know that's important to women.
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