joan123 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Anyone ever felt like their girlfriend sometimes doesn't miss them or feels cold? I'm not talking on purpose or as a revenge for something stupid you did...I just feel like once in a while she rather to spend time with friends or family for maybe 2-3 straight days. She does say she misses me but she doesn't act like it. Then she gets really hot and cant keep her hands off me. It always makes me feel uneasy and as though she doesn't really love me?
basil67 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 You say that it's only 'once in a while'. Being able to spend time with family and friends without missing you is normal and healthy. I'd be more concerned if she had a day or two away and was blowing up your phone with how much she was missing you. 1
Author joan123 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Posted April 18, 2017 You say that it's only 'once in a while'. Being able to spend time with family and friends without missing you is normal and healthy. I'd be more concerned if she had a day or two away and was blowing up your phone with how much she was missing you. about once or twice a month this happens. And yes she does blow my phone up with how much she misses me and i don't mind it but it feels to be just words because she doesn't act like it...doesn't come to me...
MoreThanThat Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 It's called life balance. It's perfectly normal. 2
fromheart Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Sounds like you're wanting her more than she wants you, not a good place for a man to be. Keep yourself to yourself and give out what you receive. When she says she misses you, make a date. If she disappears once a month, use the opportunity to get the things done you need to get done. Just take a step back when you feel her take a step back, have emotional self restraint. If you still feel like she is not returning what you feel, then after sometime you must leave her. That way, you can meet someone who returns your feelings.
d0nnivain Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 I never want to spent 100% of my time with anybody -- not my parents, not my friends & not even my husband. The fact that your GF has other interests besides you is healthy. Find some balance in your own life -- work, hobbies, other people etc. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It means she is not obsessed with you. Obsession is not healthy. Learn from her example. 2
preraph Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Look, only a person who was really needy and insecure would "miss" someone from just being away for a limited amount of time. And especially in this world of electronics. How can you miss someone who's always texting you? The reality is, people get tired of that constant contact and need a break from it and want to see other friends and family, and that is normal and healthy. It's kind of mentally off to get that needy just because you don't see someone for a few days. 1
Popsicle Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 The horrible thing about this is if you complain about it, it only makes thing worse. 2
amaysngrace Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Maybe she goes cold because you are clingy and she needs to escape. 4
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 It's healthy to have a life outside the relationship to go do your own thing, enjoying different company, etc. It keeps things fresh....that's why she's all over you when you see each other again. pull the blinders off....she misses you like she says. it's so obvious....zowie.
fromheart Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 The horrible thing about this is if you complain about it, it only makes thing worse. Thats an absolute guarantee. 1
fromheart Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Maybe she goes cold because you are clingy and she needs to escape. Or maybe she gos cold because its time for a new girlfriend. OP, what you'll see on this thread is a classic female reaction to a man wanting to spend more time with his GF. Without having even met you, you are condemned as weak, clingy, needy. They instantly go into their masculine, they have no time, they cant spend time with everyone etc. Yet as you know, a woman in love cant get enough of you 24/7. So what you must do is back away when they back away and give them the gift of missing you. Do NOT try and communicate with women about wanting to spend more time with them, the insecure ones will get abusive quickly. Edited April 18, 2017 by fromheart
coolheadal Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) about once or twice a month this happens. And yes she does blow my phone up with how much she misses me and i don't mind it but it feels to be just words because she doesn't act like it...doesn't come to me... You want what I want from a woman, but yet they act just like this. I have learned you can't change them. You either put up with it or drop, leave and cut your losses if that's what you really want to do. Sounds like you don't if you love her stick it out and stop complaining. Nonsense today. Everyone is different. "I miss you, I want you, I miss you, I want you" This is what you want to hear always. Listen your in the real world now this isn't going to happen with her stop being so delusional.. Edited April 18, 2017 by coolheadal 1
thecrucible Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 What does 'missing you' mean to you in terms of behaviour? What are you expecting from her? I can tell you my own romantic life story about some of the unsuitable relationships I've been in. I've been with guys who were abusive, and also in relationships with unhealthy dynamics. In those relationships, I was clingier with those guys than I would be now. I was sending lots of texts and intensely missing them...but it wasn't real love if you catch my drift. I recognise now that the first relationships I had in my late teens/early twenties were codependent and just unhealthy. Now I have a more balanced life and better mental health and I wouldn't miss a man as much as I did back then. Does that mean I don't feel love for him? The answer is no . I think I'm closer to finding true love than I ever have been because I'm motivated by 'wanting' to spend time with him rather than 'needing' him for my sense of self-worth. 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 I wouldn't overthink it... The worst fights my ex-wife and I had were when I was out of town. She'd send text after text and get angry when I didn't respond. I went out of town for a grand total of 62 hours once and I had well over three hundred texts from her in that time..
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