morrisseyoulater Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 Recently, I have been involved with a guy I have known for nearly 2 years , we met in school where we were quite distant friends from him being in the year above , but only a few weeks ago we started being flirtatious on a social media website known as "Snapchat" , I had just got out of a ****ty relationship and he decided to comfort me and opened up to me about an abusive relationship which he had broke off in February (which lasted a year). He said to me that he had been very hurt by his last relationship so he doesn't know whether he's able to love anyone at the moment , yet we continued flirting until we met up and instantly starting acting romantically ( kissing , making out etc.) . I have to admit that I rushed into it all to fast , meeting his parents and him meeting mine on only the 2nd week ( yet we weren't even officially "in a relationship") but at the time he seemed alright with it. However , last week he messaged me saying about how he had discussed with his parents that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship yet he truly loved me but was still scared of being committed because of his last relationship. He told me but also said that he doesn't want to lose me so he asked to stay in touch and "hopes we can't try again soon " when he's ready I still have many questions yet I have no idea how to ask them . I have "liked" him on and off in the past and it just seems like this isn't the end and there is supposed to be more to happen. ( he has also explained about how he thinks I'm perfect , doubting himself at some points saying I deserve better and that he thinks I'm going to move on almost immediately)
d0nnivain Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 To me, when somebody says that they are not ready for a relationship you have to tack a prepositional phrase on the end "with you." If he was madly in love or even lust with you, fear would not hold him back. It's an excuse. So you need to move on not wait around. 8
Gaeta Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 You need to move on from this man. He is feeding you excuses upon excuses. He does not want a relationship 'with you'. Even though you are an amazing girl he is not feeling it and he can't force it. 4
smackie9 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 You were slipping into the "rebound" area there.....he knew it and now he has backed out knowing that his intentions were not true. He was just filling in a void because you were available...a warm body. Personally you are better off to cut ties. I guarantee you, if you stay friends, there's going to be a day when he announces he has met someone....else. *boom* 3
kendahke Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 Recently, I have been involved with a guy I have known for nearly 2 years , we met in school where we were quite distant friends from him being in the year above , but only a few weeks ago we started being flirtatious on a social media website known as "Snapchat" , I had just got out of a ****ty relationship an abusive relationship which he had broke off in February (which lasted a year). it's best to let this go. You both have huge emotional messes you need to be concentrating on resolving before bringing someone new into your sphere. ( he has also explained about how he thinks I'm perfect , doubting himself at some points saying I deserve better and that he thinks I'm going to move on almost immediately) He's right. When someone says this to you, believe them and move on. 3
blockrockinbeat74 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 I was that 'not ready for RL' person. I didn't get involved for too long but the fact is, I wasn't ready for RL back then with anyone. I wasn't thinking straight for a while after my divorce, constantly jumping at shadows and freaking out regularly at any sign of commitment. I feel ready now, though. So I tend to think it's a timing thing. 5
Erik30 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 I think this might be one of those cases where it actually is bad timing, instead of it just being the lame rejection line people often use. It seems like you could both be on the rebound. Also, him comforting you right after your breakup would probably be a bad way to start something new with this guy 4
preraph Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 I think if he was really interested in you in a big way, he would not be doing this. So I think he likes you but knows you are not "the one" and doesn't feel ready, and maybe he also doesn't want to lead you on because he senses you are more invested. Anyway, no matter what, you need to stop contacting him and let him set the pace, but in the meantime, you need to not focus on him and just keep dating others. Because he threw you back in the pond. 1
Author morrisseyoulater Posted April 18, 2017 Author Posted April 18, 2017 UPDATE: We have discussed these points and have left it on "hopefully down the line we will meet again" Thanks for the support
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