NeverGivingUp97 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 So I'm currently in a relationship with a girl and we've been together for 2-3 months (not a long period of time). Due to excessive Uni courses we were only able to spend time with each other once or rarely twice per week, while texting each other daily. It's a relatively healthy relationship so far but there are some cracks here and there. The 14-day Easter break came and while this could be a great chance to spend some time together, she left for another country to spend some time with her best friend who studies there (pretty reasonable). She'll be back on Friday and we'll have 1-2 days to spend together which really frustrates me. I've tried to explain to her that I wanted to spend more time with her and that 1-2 days are just not enough but I'm just talking to deaf ears. She only says that when she comes back, we'll go to her house and sleep together for the night and spend as much for the next day as we can together. At this point though I'm in no mood for this. This may sound a little bit immature from my side but she can't expect me to spend my final 1-2 days of the vacation with her while she wasn't there for me for the previous 11-12. I'll go and see her once she gets home, spend some hours with her and then go home, It sounds wrong in my head but honestly I just don't feel like spending time with her after this huge absence. What should I do? Should I take full advantage spend those "whole" 1-2 days with her (as she expects me to) or just go see her once after she comes home and leave? Honestly my only gripe is that we haven't spent much time together and I've been vocal about this but the only response I get is "I'd love to as well, but we can't with this schedule". What I know from my previous experiences is that when in a relationship, time can be found anywhere and we should take full advantage of it but I guess that she's not up for this or just not mature enough to understand it (NOTE: I'm her first relationship) Thanks in advance!
Telemachus Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 It is immature from your side, and more than a little bit immature - entirely immature. If what you want in a relationship is to control and possess, find another woman. She isn't the one for you. However, when you find that woman who enjoys your impulses, it won't be a "relatively healthy" relationship, and this doesn't seem like one either. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 Why can't you study together? Why can't you eat a meal together? I understand your focus has to be on school but everybody has to eat & nobody studies 24/7. In grad school my EX & I would go to class in the morning, have lunch together, study sitting at the same table for a while in the afternoon then go home. They weren't the best most romantic dates but we spent time together. 1
GunslingerRoland Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 I don't get how not spending as much time with her as you can once she is back, fixes the situation of not getting to spend enough time with her while she was gone. And I'm under the assumption that you guys go to different schools? Otherwise I agree with donnivain that there should be better opportunities for you to spend time together. 1
preraph Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 First of all, you can't expect her to just set her friends aside because she has a boyfriend. She's probably known and loved this person for a long time and misses her . Secondly, if the goal is spend more time together, then why would you not do that just because you want revenge? You are jealous of her friends to some degree, and that isn't healthy. Are you going to be jealous of the baby too when you guys have one someday? Disappointment is one thing. Wanting revenge and being really mad about her seeing her friend is another.
kgcolonel Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 I don't get how not spending as much time with her as you can once she is back, fixes the situation of not getting to spend enough time with her while she was gone. And I'm under the assumption that you guys go to different schools? Otherwise I agree with donnivain that there should be better opportunities for you to spend time together. I agree with Gunslinger and yes it is immature however, it really sounds as though the relationship isn't working for you and instead of fighting the current, why not get our of the river? Dating is like test driving a car, if you don't like the way a car drives, would you argue with the car about how it drives or look for a car that you do like the way it drives? Don't make youself and your GF miserable by fighting the battle here, just let her know that it has been fun and move on to find someone more available. 1
spiderowl Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 I can see that she should not cast aside her friends because she has a boyfriend. However, she could spend a bit more time with you. It seems you need her company more than she needs yours. If you are not comfortable with the balance of this, then maybe you need a different girlfriend.
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