atsumi Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 (I'll just leave this here...I received this letter 5 years later. Not going into details, not needing any advice - just wanted to share some beautiful, heartbreaking words. It speaks for itself.) I’ve written so many of these letters over the years. I’ve sent letters to apologize, to beg, to profess love, to question and to seek closure. These letters have started new adventures, left me sleepless, been drafted on napkins, revitalized loves and sometimes only mumbled to the recesses of my mind. Each a projection of my dreams upon the world, never truly realized, only a shade of the grandeur I wanted. I poured over love letters, over idealized endings, over fantastic beginnings. I’ve infused my soul into the words of each, only to leave memories of the most painful moments of my past crystallized to forever run my fingers over: Atsumi, I hope that you remember those 10 days and 10 dates more than the way things ended this last month. For some stupid reason, I think I'll always remember you looking over your shoulder while we were cooking, suppressing a grin, nose half-scrunched and making some snide comment to me. I have no idea what you were teasing me about, but god, what I would have given to shut you up right then. And I know I'll always remember you sobbing in the bathroom after one of the best days of my life, holding onto me with sadness, anger and confusion over all the goddamn bull**** that got between us - I don't know that I've had many more poignant emotional experiences in my life. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. I think the same is true for you as well. While describing it as tumultuous might be an understatement, the year I spent falling in love with you has been one of the best of my life too. Secondly, I'd like to thank you. At the very least, you've been a great friend to me. You quickly became the first person I wanted to go to about my problems. I trusted you, I loved talking to you and you were the inspiration for most of my self-improvement this past year - you make me want to be a better person. At the most, you've been a great lover. I've laughed, cried, held, fought, stayed up way too late, danced, devoured ice cream, and enjoyed just sitting with you. We may never have even kissed, but I'll be damned if we weren't lovers - I was connected with you on an emotional level I haven't felt before. And perhaps hardest of all, I want to thank you for knowing when to end it, for both of our sake, I'm not sure I could have, even though I'm sure we both realize now we needed to. You'll forever be some sight on the horizon to me. In-between, miles of desert and pain, an infinite gauntlet that I barely managed to escape from, with new challenges multiplying from every overcome. I'm hurting worse than I ever have before: I knew it would be tough, but losing you is proving harder than I ever thought. But I've also found myself again, which is worth any amount of pain. I'm no longer crazy, I feel free. The kind of free that makes you smile as you cry. I'm done with trying to run that gauntlet, it's hopeless, I'll never be able to have you while there are so many problems and complications, no matter how much we both might want it. So it's fitting that the last nickname I had for you is where you'll probably always be to me: always on the horizon. 2
minimariah Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 thank you for sharing...! the letter is lovely & the words are beautiful, indeed. poetic. i'd LOVE to read some update though - did you reunite wih the author of this letter? are the two of you together now? i totally got the destined-to-be-kind-of-love vibe with juuuuuuuuust a little pinch of forbidden... am i wrong? i'll understand if you just wanted to share though - thank you once again! very romantic, this must be my favourite post i've read this week... scratch that, THIS MONTH! 2
Author atsumi Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 I guess I can elaborate a little: Over 5 years ago, the author of this letter and I had an ill-fated romance of sorts, which was doomed from the start. We fell in love, but we both knew that we could not be together. Because of that, I never told him how I felt and always kept him at an arm's reach. Or at least, I tried to... Eventually, it all came crashing down and we completely cut off contact for 5 years. We lost each other and broke apart other friendships in the process. Through an unbelievable series of events, I recently reconnected with him. Maybe it was dumb luck, or maybe fate. Despite not communicating at all for half a decade, the connection we had didn't fade at all. We both changed and did some growing up in that time, and had our share of other heartbreaks. We both tried so hard to move on and forget each other, but clearly didn't succeed. And the complications that kept us from being together back then had gone away in the time since. We had that first kiss after all, and are now together. He recently showed me this letter, which he had written after we stopped talking for 5 years (but never sent). Honestly, I'm glad he never sent it back then - because I wanted to hate him, and reading this would have made it impossible. Who knows what will happen from here. But who knows, maybe happy endings do exist? 3
sandrawg Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 Beautiful. Just beautiful. The letter and the story. Thank you for sharing. 2
minimariah Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 But who knows, maybe happy endings do exist? this is one of the sweetest stories i've ever read on here. thank you! i'm glad that the complications that kept you from being together are now gone & you are free to enjoy your time together without the stress. the letter is just so LOVELY!!! very romantic. p.s. while reading the letter, Morgan Freeman narrated it in my mind. not even kidding, this is some movie worthy love story right here. 3
todreaminblue Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 my favorite post on loveshack to date and im a fossil on here............thankyou...letter writing is an art that has been lost..so hoping it comes back....thank you so much for sharing your letter.....here...)...deb 2
Author atsumi Posted April 18, 2017 Author Posted April 18, 2017 Wanted to add, in case it is confusing - he often made up unusual nicknames for me, and the last one he came up with before we stopped talking for 5 years was 'Horizon' (an inside joke). And thanks, everyone He definitely is a hopeless romantic, and an excellent writer. A few friends seriously told me that either he or I should write a book about our crazy story - maybe with his letter as a prologue?? 2
todreaminblue Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 Wanted to add, in case it is confusing - he often made up unusual nicknames for me, and the last one he came up with before we stopped talking for 5 years was 'Horizon' (an inside joke). And thanks, everyone He definitely is a hopeless romantic, and an excellent writer. A few friends seriously told me that either he or I should write a book about our crazy story - maybe with his letter as a prologue?? wonderful idea ...let me know when it is available i would buy it then read it with pleasure.....deb 1
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