FlightWheel Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 Hello everyone, Recently started seeing a girl I met online and she is new to the area (has a few family members here). We have been on 4 dates and she had to reschedule 2 of those (for legitimate reasons). Recently tried to go on a date this weekend but she said she had family all weekend which makes sense (Easter), but never suggested a new day that works for her like usual. We have seen each other for little over a month now. The most recent date has lead to sex and everything. When we are together she shows that she is into me and hasn't pulled back on anything (holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc.) I know we are both physically attracted to each other quite a bit and overall have a good time. For communication, I am the one who always has to initiate. I have always had to start the conversation or setup the date. I only really text her 1-2 times a week to setup dates but have had a few conversations/snaps, but try to keep it to just setting up dates. I feel like the detail and effort in her texts has dropped. Sometimes it will take her awhile to text back and in the beginning it was more frequent. Example of this was like "Sorry I was busy, or sorry didn't see this cause was out!" Like 5 hours later. Again could be legitimate. The past week I noticed myself over pursuing a little and she did not reciprocate so I pulled back to not come off as needy. My main goal is to pursue a relationship. Last time we were together I asked her that I was confused how she felt and where this was going. She said she was interested and she doesn't tell her emotions and would rather do them through action. We both said we are interested in a possible relationship and just left it at that and continued the night. (Yes that is my answer but her communication feels like she is lacking interest) Again, we both are busy with our lives currently but it's at the point where I am putting in all the effort to meet up and I don't want to over pursue. I know I am over thinking this, I just am really into the girl and want to make it work. I have been holding back a lot of emotions and behind the scenes the whole thing is making me crazy. I am talking to other women to keep my mind off of it and for other options incase. She may be seeing other guys too which is fine since we aren't exclusive. Planning on seeing if she will initiate contact as I am worried to plan the next date. Questions: - Since I haven't contacted since the moment I thought I was over pursuing, should I wait a week to see if she contacts me first? --- - Overall any other tips / suggestions. - Is she playing hard to get?
Ami1uwant Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 My rule.... After a few dates I would expect her to freely initiate and contact me and not just return a call/text. By date 4 or 5 I expect her to plan a date. I would also be concerned if she saI'd she couldn't get together but didn't offer an alternate date. I think she is using you for companionship and free food.
Author FlightWheel Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 The time she didn't offer and alternative date was only once but also the most recent. I may give it one more go before making big decisions on leaving the whole situation in general. I am so tempted to text her currently about the next date but I am waiting and seeing.
Grey40 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 You said the most recent date led to sex. That's usually when stuff gets into tricky and dicey territory for women. Once a woman has sex with you, she gets flooded with all these crazy emotions and could perhaps be re-evaluating the relationship. She could be thinking it's moving too fast or too quickly, or maybe she's not as into you as she as originally and feels bad that she let it escalate etc. Those are just 2 of literally 1,000 different things that could be going through her mind right now. The key is if she continues to talk to you and accept and go on dates with you. If she keeps doing that, don't worry so much about everything else. You've only seen each other for like a month, you don't have to be contacting each other like you've been in an exclusive relationship for 2 years.
act00 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 This is difficult because you are hitting it off really well in person, but she never initiates a conversation or even a date. It always feels like a slippery slope, especially reading others' opinions here, what is too much/too little, and women are "not supposed" to take the lead, etc. No one knows what the heck is going on. You haven't been going out that long, but you are great together when you do. I would start dropping off if I constantly had to do the planning and initiating. Ask her why she never texts/calls first. See where this goes because so far it's going really well when you are together. She seems insanely busy, and perhaps the timing is off. See if things with you and her progress now that Easter is over.
Author FlightWheel Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 I am thinking of asking her to go on a run earlier in the week. She loves to run and I am doing cardio regardless. This way it is something she enjoys for sure and may bring up why she never initiates but that may be a bad idea too.
GemmaUK Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 Unless she already let you know she'd be busy and therefore there were reasons why her communication dropped off and became very short and to the point then I'd say she's losing interest. She should be initiating something by this time. Maybe the sex was something which sealed the deal for her and she didn't feel the sexual chemistry was there and she's using the long weekend to fade on you. This is how it seems with not even offering a date to meet up. I would leave the ball in her court. She knows how to contact you if she wants to.
Author FlightWheel Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 UPDATE: Texted her for the jog today and she said "Working today and then a few errands. Hopefully I get everything done in time I would love to"
Titanll Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 "I know I am over thinking this, I just am really into the girl and want to make it work. I have been holding back a lot of emotions and behind the scenes the whole thing is making me crazy. I am talking to other women to keep my mind off of it and for other options incase. She may be seeing other guys too which is fine since we aren't exclusive. Planning on seeing if she will initiate contact as I am worried to plan the next date." You have no real clue what you want it seems...
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