rose27 Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 I've been on dating sites/apps for a while and have met only a small handful of men in person for a first date. None of those have ever gone past a first date as we didn't really click well, so I have never been in a serious relationship with anyone I have met online. I had a relationship fail after a few short months together last year and it really affected me due to my past with men, being hurt and having my heart broken. I go online, get to know someone on the dating site and then he asks me to go out. Suddenly, I feel like I'm in panic mode and I ignore them. I know this sounds crazy, but I don't know why I am doing this. I had 4 offers to go out this weekend and I somehow managed to get myself out of all 4 offers. Am I crazy? I want to meet someone, but I find the whole online dating thing a little bit overwhelming at times. I just don't really have a social life like I once did so I don't meet as many people as I used to in person, so this seems like the only way. Has anyone experienced this kind of 'commitment' issue with first dates? I don't know if I am subconsciously trying to protect myself from being hurt or if I'm afraid the guy won't live up to my expectations. Perhaps I need to lower my expectations or go in with an open mind? Not sure. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Mkn1010 Posted April 17, 2017 Posted April 17, 2017 This used to happen to me too! I think it's because you're either not ready (unresolved relationship trauma) or that you are subconsciously planting a buttload of expectations on what the first date means vs just seeing it as meeting someone new! Easier said than done though!! I would suggest taking a break though presently so that you're not letting down 4+ people per week for dates, not nice. Re-evaluate where you're at and what you have to give at present and stop thinking that the clock is running out!! If you take the pressure off yourself, you're more likely to enjoy your life and your dates with men here and there, and then meet someone unexpectedly (or so they say haha). 3
Author rose27 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Posted April 18, 2017 Thank you, this really does help! I do need to take a step back and just relax a little. I think a lot of it is nerves and insecurity due to my past, so I will sort that side of things out before committing to anything. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 18, 2017 Posted April 18, 2017 You do need to approach things with more of an open mind. You are committing to an hour even with travel if you do this right. on-line means little; you have to meet IRL 2
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