cole Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 thanks Seachange! I know, it's a bit of a rant, but it feels really good to put it in perspective! Each post is so heartening for me. The care, compassion, and empathy each of us feel is overwhelming and undeniably evident - it begs the question "why aren't we focusing any of that energy on our own selves? Our powers of analysis are so keen and thought-provoking that I'm sure we could all work for a top-secret, highly classified, government think-tank - imagine what we could do if we took our strengths and used them to look at who we are and what we want, rather than exploring the alternative meanings hidden in the phrase "I'll call you soon"? Love isn't simple, but is it supposed to be an enigma wrapped in a riddle? Hah. I could spend the rest of my life trying to decipher my ex, but aren't we all supposed to trust those we love? Is understanding and security supposed to be hidden between the lines of emails and texts? We could be finding out what truly makes us happy, instead of spending all our impressive power trying to figure out what makes him happy, and I hope we do just that.
Author LoveSong Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Everyone here has been terrific, and I really appreciate your input! Thanks Cole, very well written with some excellent points. This really sums it all up: I think they just get more adept at reading our signals and knowing when they can come a little closer before pulling away. It's control, it's insecurity, it's resentment, it's anger. Of course, I used to put a positive spin on it - It's feelings! It's emotions! If I just sit by and support him, he'll get it one day and we can really start communicating. and I'm working on this: We could be finding out what truly makes us happy, instead of spending all our impressive power trying to figure out what makes him happy, and I hope we do just that. and Nicki, I think you are right. He is a commitment phobe (classic signs), but it's only an excuse in my opinion. This past weekend, I gave it one more shot (silly me)....I went up to see him ( he thanked me because he couldn't come down due to other commitments...whatever). As usual, we had a great time together, but this time, when I got home, I cried. It just hit me that in the 1 1/2 months he said he wanted to work on us, he hasn't done a thing besides call/text. I've done all the traveling, special thoughts, etc., and I gotta stop. Then I realized, if I do, I might never see him again.....made me sad. Today, he asked me to join him for a weekend away for Labor Day doing something that I love to do. I was dumbfounded....then I wonder, am I just not expressing myself enough to him?! Does he not know how he hurts me?! As for the other guy...friends only for now...he's still in love with his ex-gf. He wants to get over her with me, and that's the last thing I need, especially if he makes this guy look good. lol.
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