jgraham11 Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 So I just went on a first date with a girl today. It was actually just coffee and a walk, so calling it a date might be a stretch but anyway.. She held conversation, asked questions, had one or two moments where it seemed like I was losing her, but for the most part the vibe was good. Towards the end of the date we kind of talked about what we were really looking for though.. *We met through OKC*. I asked her if she was looking for a LTR or just something casual like friendship. She basically said she was looking for a LTR but she expressed her worries with online dating because it was "awkward" according to her. She had never gone on an online date before. I have to agree with that for the most part though, it's never easy meeting a person who you met online. Especially when the impetus is clear and what both people want is clear. She said usually she likes to know a person pretty well before dating or becoming exclusive, a good point of course I'll cut to the chase though. Because of what she said I thought it was a good idea to set the pace with her. I told her I'm okay with just being friends and seeing where things go, in fact I told her i'd prefer it (which I kind of do). It's nice to just get to know the person without having expectations that come from a "romantic" date. I said that just to make any future meetups less stressful and just more relaxed. I don't mean to put her in the friendzone or myself for that matter, but was what I did wrong? By just saying let's be friends, no expectations and see what happens? Instead of going into a coffee date, then coming out on the 2nd date with a late dinner and the normal procedure? It's a new approach to dating for me for sure, but I feel like it will makes things more comfortable 1
Ami1uwant Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 From my own experience.... When it comes to a first meet. Try for it to be short like coffee and get to know someone but don't expect it to go anywhere. You want it short for an easy out if you think the person isn't stable. Meeting someone from online really shouldn't be any different Han how you meet in real life. One question I always ask before a date is to find out if they met anyone from online before. If not they will have this awkward or different feeling being unfamiliar with it. The way to look at online dating is sort of like a random meeting at a bar. At the bat it's visual queues on something starting, while online it's different. From the time you are face to face and start to talk it's really the same from that point on. Also prior to dating, ask what kind of shopper are they because it says the same on their dating style.
Author jgraham11 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Posted April 16, 2017 From my own experience.... When it comes to a first meet. Try for it to be short like coffee and get to know someone but don't expect it to go anywhere. You want it short for an easy out if you think the person isn't stable. Meeting someone from online really shouldn't be any different Han how you meet in real life. One question I always ask before a date is to find out if they met anyone from online before. If not they will have this awkward or different feeling being unfamiliar with it. The way to look at online dating is sort of like a random meeting at a bar. At the bat it's visual queues on something starting, while online it's different. From the time you are face to face and start to talk it's really the same from that point on. Also prior to dating, ask what kind of shopper are they because it says the same on their dating style. Well I mean I could definitely see a relationship happening, but I just want it to form on its own. With OLD it can be hard, it's like expected. That's what meeting someone in real life holds over OLD. You can casually get to know someone before expectations become more obvious. I just hope I didn't shoot myself in the foot with this approach
Popsicle Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 So I just went on a first date with a girl today. It was actually just coffee and a walk, so calling it a date might be a stretch but anyway.. She held conversation, asked questions, had one or two moments where it seemed like I was losing her, but for the most part the vibe was good. Towards the end of the date we kind of talked about what we were really looking for though.. *We met through OKC*. I asked her if she was looking for a LTR or just something casual like friendship. She basically said she was looking for a LTR but she expressed her worries with online dating because it was "awkward" according to her. She had never gone on an online date before. I have to agree with that for the most part though, it's never easy meeting a person who you met online. Especially when the impetus is clear and what both people want is clear. She said usually she likes to know a person pretty well before dating or becoming exclusive, a good point of course I'll cut to the chase though. Because of what she said I thought it was a good idea to set the pace with her. I told her I'm okay with just being friends and seeing where things go, in fact I told her i'd prefer it (which I kind of do). It's nice to just get to know the person without having expectations that come from a "romantic" date. I said that just to make any future meetups less stressful and just more relaxed. I don't mean to put her in the friendzone or myself for that matter, but was what I did wrong? By just saying let's be friends, no expectations and see what happens? Instead of going into a coffee date, then coming out on the 2nd date with a late dinner and the normal procedure? It's a new approach to dating for me for sure, but I feel like it will makes things more comfortable That was a good move (especially considering what she said). Good luck!
Ami1uwant Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 Well I mean I could definitely see a relationship happening, but I just want it to form on its own. With OLD it can be hard, it's like expected. That's what meeting someone in real life holds over OLD. You can casually get to know someone before expectations become more obvious. I just hope I didn't shoot myself in the foot with this approach It depends on what exactly you expect. OLD just sets you two up for meeting but you should meet face to face ASAP and the have it develop on its own.
todreaminblue Posted April 16, 2017 Posted April 16, 2017 i think putting expectations on dates is killer...its a getting to know you process whether people like it or not..its basically friendship that progresses to more..the only clarification i feel needs to be made is, this is a dead set date not a hangout........and you just take each date as another opportunity to know the person you are with better.my dated have always moved pretty quickly into relationships.....but...that has been because i have known the guys i have "dated" really well as friends ..years worth of friendship.. i dont feel years worth of dating is necessary to know someone..but having an idea of where they come from always will help dates progress....on old...there is not that safety net...of having people actually who know who you are dating or knowing the family fo the people of the guy or girl you are dating...and i think its risky.....so yes take it slow...see where things go...........i wish you well....deb..
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