freespirit97 Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 Hey everyone! I'm new to loveshack so bear with me. My boyfriend and I have both recently just turned 20 and have been dating for over 3 years. We met at 14 in high school and he liked me for a VERY long time till I finally felt the same in the eleventh grade. Since then, we've been dating and it's been great! We went to separate universities so have been long distance during the school year but still, everything has been perfect. We had been planning on going on an all-inclusive vacation this summer with his two best friends, a guy and a girl (they aren't dating), who have all been best friends since they were only 5 years old. They have been super nice and welcoming to me since we started dating. We had picked a location and a week to go. The day before we're about to book the trip, my parents decide they are very uncomfortable with my going. As I still live under their roof during the summer and when I am home from school, and I am still financially dependent on them for many things, I did not feel right disobeying them just for this trip. I told him very last minute and to make me feel better, he said we could plan a road trip since my parents are a lot more comfortable with that. However, he is still going on this trip with his 2 best friends. I don't know how I feel about this. I haven't told him anything because I was initially invited and we have made firm plans to road trip to New York. But this female friend of his is BEAUTIFUL and single!!! I completely trust him (obviously, cause long distance) but she is just the one girl I feel uncomfortable with, simply because she is so good looking and they have a lot in common. I know he says theyre best friends, and he's never given me a reason to think he's lying, but I just feel so darn nervous and I can't help it! I also feel a bit annoyed he would go without me, even though I would likely take a trip with my best friends without him. Our relationship is very serious, we've discussed our futures at length and definitely see marriage in our future once we both graduate college and are in the same location again. We've been each others first everything and honestly, can't imagine being with anybody else. But this is really grinding my gears!!! HELP PLEASE!! Ive talked to close friends and my parents who have all said I'm being ridiculous and have nothing to worry about, but I need opinions of people who don't know me. Thanks!!!
palmsand Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 From what you've said, this trip sounds totally innocent, and it's important that you were invited. That shows that he wants you to be with him and doesn't have an ulterior motive with that other girl. As hard as it is, I would try not to worry. It sounds like you two are really serious about each other and if your relationship is to succeed, you will each need to get through stressful circumstances like this, trusting the other person.
PogoStick Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 You know what else grinds my gears? Girls who are being ridiculous. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 Just because your parents won't let you go does not mean he's required to stay home. You can be disappointed. I would be. But it's not fair to him to make him stay home. Hopefully he'll keep in touch while away. 1
Miss Spider Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 I'm a person who doesn't know you who has come to say you're being ridiculous. Don't be "that gf". Trust your bf and let him have his own fun and you have yours. Take care!!! 1
Whodatdog Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 He made plans to go on this vacation a while ago, and included you. You backed out. Thats not his problem. Of course he should go. 2
Author freespirit97 Posted April 15, 2017 Author Posted April 15, 2017 thank you all so much for answering!! I kinda felt a bit ridiculous but its nice having it confirmed by strangers (seriously!!) I feel much better. 2
preraph Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 You're being completely silly about this. Of course, he's not going to cancel his trip just because you can't go because there's two other people for him to consider. You're not siamese twins. He has no obligation to stick to you like glue. He had this planned for a very long time, and he should go and you shouldn't ruin it for him by acting like a baby about it. 1
kendahke Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 I'm with your family and friends. You are being ridiculous. You are conflating two separate things which have nothing to do with one another. 1. You cancelled on going, not him nor did he tell you that you can't go with him. Your parents did that for you. To demand he cancel going is selfish in the extreme. And he's making it up to you by taking you on a road trip, so be grateful that he's accommodating you instead of telling you to get over it, which a lot of guys would do. 2. The female friend isn't the issue: the issue is you don't trust your boyfriend out of your line of sight. Despite what you say, you don't trust him. If you did, this thread wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be character assassinating his friend. She can't make him do anything he hasn't already given himself permission to do. If he'd wanted to be with her, that'd have happened long before now. Your best bet is to quit being financially dependent upon people who can put the kibosh on your out-of-country travel plans, not to turn into your boyfriend's mother and demand he not go.
d0nnivain Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 thank you all so much for answering!! I kinda felt a bit ridiculous but its nice having it confirmed by strangers (seriously!!) I feel much better. I'm glad you're getting a grip on your emotions here. Like I said hopefully your BF will stay in contact & if you're lucky buy you a cool present. Granted we had been living together at the time but my BF went on a month long trip to Europe with his dad after his mom died. I was sad I wasn't invited along but understood this was a tour & no way for me to only go for part of the time & I wasn't in a position to take that much time off. Anyway, we talked every few days; he wrote me a lot of post cards & he bought me a small gift from every country. I'm not saying your BF should do ALL of that but some contact & a little something will be sweet. Not all instances of one partner vacationing without their SO end in cheating.
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