Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I recently broke up with my girlfriend of over 9 years... devastating to say the least, but her true colours have now shone through and I feel lucky to be rid. Anyway... I met this girl through a dating app after having it for only 1 day. I felt super lucky because she is exactly what I'm looking for. We went on a date Monday, which was great, and we both had a good time. Laughing and talking throughout, nothing awkward at all. We had a second date on Wednesday, which was equally as good, and we kissed at the end. I sent her a message yesterday basically just saying goodnight, and sent her a photo on Snapchat, but she didn't reply to either. Seems strange because before and after the first date she was texting me quick a lot. After our last date, I suggested our next one should be in the day as she goes to bed early due to work. She said the next time she was free in the day would be next Friday, and so suggested Tuesday night as a possibility instead. I told her to take her time deciding something suitable and get back to me... I was thinking of sending her another message tonight, one that prompts for more of a reply. Is this a good idea or will I come across as needy?
coolheadal Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I recently broke up with my girlfriend of over 9 years... devastating to say the least, but her true colours have now shone through and I feel lucky to be rid. Anyway... I met this girl through a dating app after having it for only 1 day. I felt super lucky because she is exactly what I'm looking for. We went on a date Monday, which was great, and we both had a good time. Laughing and talking throughout, nothing awkward at all. We had a second date on Wednesday, which was equally as good, and we kissed at the end. I sent her a message yesterday basically just saying goodnight, and sent her a photo on Snapchat, but she didn't reply to either. Seems strange because before and after the first date she was texting me quick a lot. After our last date, I suggested our next one should be in the day as she goes to bed early due to work. She said the next time she was free in the day would be next Friday, and so suggested Tuesday night as a possibility instead. I told her to take her time deciding something suitable and get back to me... I was thinking of sending her another message tonight, one that prompts for more of a reply. Is this a good idea or will I come across as needy? Wait give her time to reply back You don't want to come off looking weak. Have some confidence there.. Looks better on paper if you do!
Author Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 Wait give her time to reply back You don't want to come off looking weak. Have some confidence there.. Looks better on paper if you do! Ok I can try that! How long should I wait before I send another message? Assuming she doesn't contact me of course.
Author Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 I smell a ghost... As in... not going to respond again? Dang I hope not, she's a really nice girl. Maybe I'll just send a goodnight again, and see what she says?
Miss Spider Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 As in... not going to respond again? Dang I hope not, she's a really nice girl. Maybe I'll just send a goodnight again, and see what she says? Noooooooo. Why??? She didn't respond to the last one. That is not a green light to send more./ When you say goodnight to a person who is interested they usually respond with a "thanks. You too" at the very least. You told her to contact you when she is free. Depending on her personality, she may or may not do that. Ask her out again. Then you'll know. The odds of the first person you date since your break up being a match are low. 2
Author Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 Noooooooo. Why??? She didn't respond to the last one. That is not a green light to send more./ When you say goodnight to a person who is interested they usually respond with a "thanks. You too" at the very least. You told her to contact you when she is free. Depending on her personality, she may or may not do that. Ask her out again. Then you'll know. The odds of the first person you date since your break up being a match are low. I was thinking it would be ridiculously low chance, yes, but it appeared I had gotten extremely lucky. Maybe I read everything wrong... I guess I'll wait until Sunday night, and then if she hasn't sent anything I will ask if she wants to go out again 1
alphamale Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Is this a good idea or will I come across as needy? trust me, let her contact you but be prepared to move on
kgcolonel Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 To answer your question....as of now, no you're not being needy and clingy however any further response from you without a response from her will definitely put you into that column....wait until you hear from her, no time table. 1
Tressugar Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I really do hope she responds back to you. I'm starting to lose hope in humanity.
leogirl876 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Whatever you do, don't send multiple messages. Give her time to respond. It can be a huge turnoff, and come across as creepy when a guy sends multiple messages and not give the person time to respond. It's almost stalkerish. If she doesn't respond within like 4-5 days, send one more, and if still nothing, then don't reach out anymore, she's not interested.
leogirl876 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 And be careful with putting people on a pedestal. Saying "she's exactly what I'm looking for" is putting her on a pedestal before you even really know her. It takes at least 3-6 months before you really start seeing the person for who they really are. 3
Author Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 And be careful with putting people on a pedestal. Saying "she's exactly what I'm looking for" is putting her on a pedestal before you even really know her. It takes at least 3-6 months before you really start seeing the person for who they really are. That's fair. What I more meant was, she APPEARS to be what I'm looking for. I'm not naive and I know she could well turn out completely different. If she doesn't respond then I'll be disappointed, but hey... it took less than 24 hours to find her. Thanks for the advice everyone.
Ami1uwant Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 As in... not going to respond again? Dang I hope not, she's a really nice girl. Maybe I'll just send a goodnight again, and see what she says? What are your ages, what do you do for careers?? I don't feel she will ghost or poof on you. Ghosting is more likely to happen after a 2st date or before you meet in person. Ghosting usually happens when someone is dating multile people at a time, they luke both, but one they feel might be better so they want to ser how that goes before saying it's oet to the other because the other one is good too si one doesn't work out, they go to teo. This weekend being easter is a werkend families get together, but it's too early to introduce new person you date. We're it another weekend I'd wonder why she could set up time on the weekend to be with you.
Author Peter Biggles Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 What are your ages, what do you do for careers?? I don't feel she will ghost or poof on you. Ghosting is more likely to happen after a 2st date or before you meet in person. Ghosting usually happens when someone is dating multile people at a time, they luke both, but one they feel might be better so they want to ser how that goes before saying it's oet to the other because the other one is good too si one doesn't work out, they go to teo. This weekend being easter is a werkend families get together, but it's too early to introduce new person you date. We're it another weekend I'd wonder why she could set up time on the weekend to be with you. I'm 26, shes 22. I have spare time most every night, and all day Fri Sat and Sun. Her parents are with her right now, and she said on date 1 and 2 that she is working overtime this weekend, but surely a goodnight isn't so hard? Maybe she's just not big into texting :s
Poutrew Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 You have done what you needed to do. Don't send her anything else unless she contacts you first, and don't reply instantly. It makes it look as if you were just waiting by the phone for her message - that'll make you look needy and pathetic. Most likely, if she doesn't contact you in a week or so, she's a ghost. It's tough, but it happens...
basil67 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 but surely a goodnight isn't so hard? Maybe she's just not big into texting :s Quite possibly the latter. I read about people sending 'good nights' and 'good mornings' and think to myself that it's not a habit I'd want to get into. Not that there's anything wrong with it if both people appreciate it, but for me it's a bit OTT. Also consider that it's wise for a person to start a relationship as they wish to continue. If she doesn't want to have you with expectations of her answering early or late texts, she's wise to not start doing it in the first place. 1
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