BearwithMe Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 (edited) I'd like to hear from u guys what u think about falling for someone u just met online and seem to have lots in common.does it really work..are there any possibilities of making it happen and end in a serious relationship with someone maybe u havent met in person yet but starting to fall for them.any advise or experience u can share? Edited April 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Formatting ~6
basil67 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 My advice is to give yourself a reality check. At this moment you know virtually nothing of person and what you're falling for is pretty much a figment of your imagination. First step is to meet them and see if there's mutual interest. 1
Bejangled Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 (edited) Hi BearwithMe yes, I do think it's possible to start a genuine relationship with someone you met online. In fact, nowadays online networking is a great way to open your dating possibilities. Sure, you also need to be careful for all the obvious reasons (if you're not sure about the dangers of online dating, then try googling how to be safe when dating online). You can watch for red flags i.e. if they ask you for favours that make you uncomfortable, if they ask you to go guarantor on some purchase or want you to sign for anything, if they ask you for money - even small amounts - or if they ask you to accept postal deliveries, money orders or ask you to pay for rent/car payments/plane fares etc. Most importantly - never, ever, ever send photos or videos of yourself in a compromising situation....never! Make sure that everything you share online (even when live skyping) can't be kept and used against you to blackmail you. If you're satisfied that they're not scamming you (sadly, this is very common), then build your relationship online. Skype every day and get to know the person. Don't be afraid to get personal - ask them about past relationships, where they grew up/went to school, where they work etc. ask about relationships with family and friends. You can even make a joke and ask if they've ever been to jail! Seriously, there's no harm to gradually ask these things in a cute, funny and light-hearted way. If the person lives very far from you, you will have to take that into serious consideration. How can you make that work in realtime. Will it be very expensive to travel to and fro. Who will pay for the travelling etc. Eventually, you may also have to consider that, if it gets serious, one of you may have to move to the other person's hometown. Are you prepared for it to be you? After all that, I say keep going. Build your new relationship and solve each new problem as they crop up. I wish you luck! Edited April 14, 2017 by Bejangled 1
mikeylo Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Meeting online goes nowhere unless you meet in real life. It's very easy to create a fantasy person and when you meet them in real , you can get shocked. 1
ja123 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 You need to meet asap, so as not to create a fantasy world. Meeting in person is WAY different than the chemistry built up online.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 First step is to meet them and see if there's mutual interest. Not sure I'd want to meet someone who claimed they fell for me online ... Mr. Lucky 1
grays Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Ive developed feelings for people before an IRL meeting (wouldnt say love, but some kind of attachment) and Id say that has usually tranfered well to real life, but not always. And it can be disappointing to be really hopeful about someone who you end up having no chemistry with.
preraph Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 You do not know the real person until you have spent some time face to face. Now, with facetime and skype, etc., you can tell a bit more. But just from texting or e-mail, the likelihood is this will be an entirely different person than you envision. There is too much "blank space" to fill in with your fantasy. In person, you see if they're awkward or sensual, shifty or forthright, and whether their fantasy of their self they present online is at all actuated, and many times it isn't. I know a young man who presents himself as a kind of hero from a videogame and goes to great lengths to post a photo that looks dark and moody like a character. In real life, he's a nice kid, but he rarely comes out of his room and does anything that isn't electronic. And his photo doesn't look like him either because he'd disguising his bad features. He even puts on his profile he's from a different city far from where he's lived the last 10 years because that's where he wants to live again. So see, he's going to be nothing like how he presents himself in person. If he doesn't change his mode of operation, he'll just have a series of OLD failures once he works up his nerve to do that, and won't understand why. He'd be so much better off just saying hi to people at school, etc. and letting them see that he's nice.
central Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 If you haven't met, it's all hypothetical - it's just a mental construct that may have nothing to do with reality. When you meet, all the subtle sensory input come into play, and you'll experience the whole chemistry thing (hormones, pheromones) and clues from body language, intonation, etc. THAT's when you get a sense of whether that mental model is the real thing, or an illusion. It may take a few dates - or months - from there to validate that those initial impressions can survive the test of time and experience.
spiderowl Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Yes, it is possible to fall for that person's personality and their picture based on what you know. I have had two relationships that started online. I first liked their messages and the personality that came through them. I also liked their pictures. We did meet in person and were together for a while but the relationships ended for various reasons, mostly incompatibilities. However, it is also possible to 'fall for' someone who is not being their true self. You only need to watch the 'Catfish' programme on TV to realise just how this can happen. You really need to know the person you are chatting to is who they say they are. Sometimes people are not honest about their circumstances, some show other people's pictures instead of their own, some are of a different sex to what they have portrayed. It really happens and it is an awful thing to do to someone. In short, yes it is possible to fall for someone online. Be very careful to check they are who they say they are. Best to google them, Skype in person or at least speak on the phone, and check the veracity of various things they say. It's horrible to have to be so suspicious but people have been in online 'relationships' with others for years then discovered they have lied about just about everything.
Author BearwithMe Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 @Bejangled i kinda gave up on it..i was gonna believe that itll work tho.but everything he said is all talk i guess.people change so sudden..i was kinda hoping for the consistency then might give it a try..but yeah people do vhange.maybe bcoz hes younger than me.and yes he was gonna come here to meet me on my bday.we were both aware that its different online than in person so he wanted to spend time with me to know if we will get along as much as we do online and texting and calling.im disappointed yes..hurt yes.but broken..no.ive always kow nothing lasts forever seriously..and that belief just make me sad coz people proves me right..by the wway im enjoying our conversations here..thank u guys..i might just be on here more than let my self fall for someone again thats more of impossible hahaha 1
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