babyboo86 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 My ex dumped me about four months ago. We had had a short turbulent relationship. He would cancel and modify our plans a lot and I ended up accusing him of lying to me and he left me. I felt super guilty since he has some mental problems but I kind of moved on, only to see he was from time to time still posting passive aggressive things about me on his social networks. I was shocked since he was the one who wanted the break up. And now I find out he will probably be my friend's fiance's best man while I will be the maid of honor. It's a traditional wedding so I will be stuck with him all evening and I don't know how to be polite to someone who has publicly called me toxic and mocked my interests. My friend is not the type of friend to take a firm a stand on the issue so ai'm stuck. How do I act? What do I do? Thank you.
Altair0770 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Talk to your friend, and her fiance. Let them know of the situation. Try not to cause any drama because it's their special moment. If you've moved on, just ignore him, and play your role. While at the wedding talk to some of your other friends. If he approaches you just try to act casual. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Ignore him as best you can. I have been the maid of honour in a traditional wedding as well, and honestly, there's not a lot of direct interaction required between the two sides of the wedding party. You will sign the marriage certificate with him, you will walk down the aisle with him after the I-do's, you'll pose for some group photos, you might have to dance with him if the bride and groom request a wedding party dance. That's about it. You don't need to do anything but hold civil conversation with him for a couple of hours. Basically, do you whatever you need to do to keep the focus on your friend's big day and minimize any interactions with your ex. Also, delete him from social media if you haven't already.
Author babyboo86 Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 Ignore him as best you can. I have been the maid of honour in a traditional wedding as well, and honestly, there's not a lot of direct interaction required between the two sides of the wedding party. You will sign the marriage certificate with him, you will walk down the aisle with him after the I-do's, you'll pose for some group photos, you might have to dance with him if the bride and groom request a wedding party dance. That's about it. You don't need to do anything but hold civil conversation with him for a couple of hours. Basically, do you whatever you need to do to keep the focus on your friend's big day and minimize any interactions with your ex. Also, delete him from social media if you haven't already. This is a man who for all intense and purposes hates my guts. He has proclaimed himself the sole good guy in our relationship and probably talks trash about me the way he talked trash to me about his exes. He is blocked on my social media and I've been NC since I read his insults on the internet. Of course I would never do anything to compromise my friend's wedding, but I'm afraid he might become mean or provoke. And I am so sensitive I might just start crying if he says anything remotely vindictive or passive aggressive.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 All you can really do is speak to your best friend and explain your concerns. Have her fiance talk to your ex about keeping the peace on their special day. If he starts taking digs at you at the wedding, calmly tell him that he needs to keep his thoughts to himself and not spoil his friend's milestone day.
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