palmsand Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 This is a different person than I just posted about in General, just so you know. This girl I've matched with, been talking to this week. Things seemed pretty normal at first, talked a bit and planned a date. But then she just keeps talking, constantly all this week. She also started randomly talking about archery and pushed to change the first date to going to an archery range. I've never had a girl change date plans like that. Yesterday she just flat out sent me her number. Not that I don't want to talk to her but the constant small-talk is kind of turn-off for me. Honestly archery sounds like a blast and really good idea for a date but I feel weird with her pushing stuff like that. She has moved on to brainstorming more activities beyond that, which is saturday. How could she like me this much when we haven't even met yet? What do you think? Is this stuff a big red flag?
TheTraveler Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 This is a different person than I just posted about in General, just so you know. This girl I've matched with, been talking to this week. Things seemed pretty normal at first, talked a bit and planned a date. But then she just keeps talking, constantly all this week. She also started randomly talking about archery and pushed to change the first date to going to an archery range. I've never had a girl change date plans like that. Yesterday she just flat out sent me her number. Not that I don't want to talk to her but the constant small-talk is kind of turn-off for me. Honestly archery sounds like a blast and really good idea for a date but I feel weird with her pushing stuff like that. She has moved on to brainstorming more activities beyond that, which is saturday. How could she like me this much when we haven't even met yet? What do you think? Is this stuff a big red flag? I think that sounds great if the woman is open to doing an activity versus the dinner/drinks option. You could always do that after if you're feeling it. I'd jump in 3
amaysngrace Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Can you shoot guns there too because some places allow you to do both. 1
Ronnys93 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Desperate? It sounds to me like she just really likes different activities. If you don't wish to do those things you need to be upfront and let her know. It doesn't sound like desperation at all. 3
Bejangled Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Honestly, from your description,, she seems like she is trying to be open, enthusiastic and show you that she has a little bit of personality beyond the standard 'play it cool' and just 'dip your toe in until you're more certain' kinda person. So, you may not like her constant chatting right now but stall your judgement until you meet for the date. It may actually be one of her most appealing qualities when seen in proper context. There's also the possibility that she's just not your kind of person but meet her halfway, if nothing else, it's no harm spend a little time with someone who confuses your usual expectations. Go on your date. Have fun doing something new. Open your possibilities and then see how you feel. I hope you have a great time on your date. Good luck! 3
Erik30 Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I wouldn't call that a red flag, it seems like she's an extrovert. Maybe it says a lot about your attraction to her.(Or lack of) 1
d0nnivain Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I see no red flags. I see a woman who is secure enough to take action & make her preferences known. I also wonder if that is spooking you somehow. 2
CptInsano Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 (edited) I see no red flags, either. A lot of woman chat and talk a lot, that's just who they are. She is most likely excited, and her suggesting stuff she is passionate about is a good sign. Heck, I'm usually very happy if I get that response. Why not just relax, sit back, and enjoy the ride? Don't overthink at this stage, just have fun. Edited April 14, 2017 by CptInsano 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I wouldn't have an issue with her, whatsoever. There's a definitive difference between "desperate" and an enthusiastic dater. I am only wary of women like this if I feel like they are establishing some almost unattainable standards for the date. I was out with a woman who planned a long list of activities for us to do on our first date and I had fun. We went fishing for awhile, had dinner and went bowling. I had a good time and she appeared to as well. She was very out-going, we had several good conversations but there was a weird vibe at times. We had a conversation about music and cinema tastes and she acted disappointed when we had enjoyed different genres in both. Her body language and tone changed, there was a long lull in the conversation and I had to get things rolling again. The same thing happened when I mentioned that I didn't do much hunting. I tried to set up a second date and she said that "she didn't think things would work because we were different people".
Simple Logic Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 This is a different person than I just posted about in General, just so you know. This girl I've matched with, been talking to this week. Things seemed pretty normal at first, talked a bit and planned a date. But then she just keeps talking, constantly all this week. She also started randomly talking about archery and pushed to change the first date to going to an archery range. I've never had a girl change date plans like that. Yesterday she just flat out sent me her number. Not that I don't want to talk to her but the constant small-talk is kind of turn-off for me. Honestly archery sounds like a blast and really good idea for a date but I feel weird with her pushing stuff like that. She has moved on to brainstorming more activities beyond that, which is saturday. How could she like me this much when we haven't even met yet? What do you think? Is this stuff a big red flag? Since she changed the date, set the activity and seems really anxious for you to call, she could be trying to use you attempt to make someone else jealous. 1
ChatroomHero Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Well God forbid a woman that wants to date you makes an effort and shows interest. Sure it's more fun if she is stand-offish, takes days to reply to texts and flakes on plans, but that fun only last so long. She is probably not in love with you, she is probably not desperate, she just isn't meek or shy. I love when dates come up with good date ideas and take the burden off of me. I love when they tell me things before dates like they love to go shooting or amusement parks etc. A lot of times you either have to choose a lame dinner and movie or pick something fun that she agrees to and 5 minutes after you get there she says something like, "I really don't like amusement parks, I won't go on rides and nothing here interests me." Now her communication level might be too much in the future, but give her at least the first date before you make any decisions. I guarantee if you find you really like her, that same level of communication might not be enough for you.
coolheadal Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 This is a different person than I just posted about in General, just so you know. This girl I've matched with, been talking to this week. Things seemed pretty normal at first, talked a bit and planned a date. But then she just keeps talking, constantly all this week. She also started randomly talking about archery and pushed to change the first date to going to an archery range. I've never had a girl change date plans like that. Yesterday she just flat out sent me her number. Not that I don't want to talk to her but the constant small-talk is kind of turn-off for me. Honestly archery sounds like a blast and really good idea for a date but I feel weird with her pushing stuff like that. She has moved on to brainstorming more activities beyond that, which is saturday. How could she like me this much when we haven't even met yet? What do you think? Is this stuff a big red flag? She's the leader in your new relationship with her. Why do you complain about her talking would you rather her just smile and blink at you. Enjoy what she's doing with you. She's sharing her life with you so silly you don't see what's she's up too. Have fun and get your head out the clouds..
kendahke Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 (edited) How else is she going to get to know you without talking to you? This is called "extending herself". Have you come up with activities that may interest her, outside of going to a bar or to dinner? She sounds like a fun, active person. Plenty of men would love to have someone like this. Are you not fun and active? If you aren't, you need to stop this going any further because you're going to end up frustrating her. I honestly see nothing to complain about. Edited April 14, 2017 by kendahke 1
SevenCity Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 Well God forbid a woman that wants to date you makes an effort and shows interest. Sure it's more fun if she is stand-offish, takes days to reply to texts and flakes on plans, but that fun only last so long. She is probably not in love with you, she is probably not desperate, she just isn't meek or shy. I love when dates come up with good date ideas and take the burden off of me. I love when they tell me things before dates like they love to go shooting or amusement parks etc. A lot of times you either have to choose a lame dinner and movie or pick something fun that she agrees to and 5 minutes after you get there she says something like, "I really don't like amusement parks, I won't go on rides and nothing here interests me." Now her communication level might be too much in the future, but give her at least the first date before you make any decisions. I guarantee if you find you really like her, that same level of communication might not be enough for you. I don't find that behavior fun at all. And movies are terrible first dates. Sitting in the dark for two hours is not a good way to get to know someone. 3
CptInsano Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 I don't find that behavior fun at all. And movies are terrible first dates. Sitting in the dark for two hours is not a good way to get to know someone. I've had women hold onto me during "scary" scenes. That's not necessarily a bad thing.
WaitingForBardot Posted April 14, 2017 Posted April 14, 2017 You know, if she doesn't do it for you, she doesn't do it for you, no need to invent excuses. Sometimes I'm not sure why someone doesn't appeal to me when objectively speaking they should. But red flags, desperate??? The things people tell themselves... 1
Author palmsand Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 I your points, but it seems like she's getting ahead of things with planning stuff beyond the first date when we haven't even met yet. It's like she's assuming there will be a second and third date which seems like too much investment when we are still strangers at this point. My ex did that and things were great at first but fell apart pretty quickly.
Author palmsand Posted April 14, 2017 Author Posted April 14, 2017 Well God forbid a woman that wants to date you makes an effort and shows interest. Sure it's more fun if she is stand-offish, takes days to reply to texts and flakes on plans, but that fun only last so long. She is probably not in love with you, she is probably not desperate, she just isn't meek or shy. I love when dates come up with good date ideas and take the burden off of me. I love when they tell me things before dates like they love to go shooting or amusement parks etc. A lot of times you either have to choose a lame dinner and movie or pick something fun that she agrees to and 5 minutes after you get there she says something like, "I really don't like amusement parks, I won't go on rides and nothing here interests me." Now her communication level might be too much in the future, but give her at least the first date before you make any decisions. I guarantee if you find you really like her, that same level of communication might not be enough for you. I have found that a lot of people aren't super excited about coffee or diner. Sometimes I've found out after the fact that they don't even like coffee, etc. But even if they don't really like what I plan, they go along anyway and don't show it. I would like to ask people out to do more unique, active things, but usually don't get a good sense that they would like that and tend to play it safe with coffee or something. So yeah it is good that she makes it known what she likes and I'm excited for the same things. I just thought the first date was for getting to know each other, not texting for a week beforehand.
grays Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 Im wondering if guys tend to see a woman sending her number unsolicited as a desperate maneuver. I always do it. I dont like to use the messaging on the dating aps bc they seem to always get glitchy and sometimes I dont check them for days at a time. Good grief! I send my number way before ive decided what i think of someone usually.
Author palmsand Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 Whoever suggested she is an extrovert nailed it. The date went sort of how I expected, not good. Just too many huge differences in our personalities. I don't plan to see her again but now have to break the news to her. I think my gut was right on this one.
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