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Taking The Lead


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Posted (edited)
When a date doesn't ask questions about YOU, it's a sign, far more often than not, that he/she is not interested. Only once in all of my dates did I meet someone like that. I got a second date, but it turned out that she was one of the most self-absorbed human beings I had ever met (disturbingly revealed during the second date). No third date.

 

 

When i'm not kissing a date at some point on the first date it's a bad sign.

 

i'm 45.

The women i date are usually late 30's early 40's.

If they are interested and attracted they have no problem showing it by kissing on the first date.

In fact a good date = zero effort and zero questioning.

If I am left wondering whether she likes me or not when i'm driving home from a first date I lose interest and move on.

 

I don't know how old oates is though.

Edited by phineas
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Posted
When a date doesn't ask questions about YOU, it's a sign, far more often than not, that he/she is not interested. Only once in all of my dates did I meet someone like that. I got a second date, but it turned out that she was one of the most self-absorbed human beings I had ever met (disturbingly revealed during the second date). No third date.

 

That has generally been my experience. I'm posting a lot about this date because it has been so strange. This woman was very much engaged and talkative during our first two dates, even without her asking much about me. Then it hit a friggin' wall yesterday. A part of it is disappointment and a part of it is bewilderment. I had genuinely enjoyed her company on the first two dates but I left yesterday feeling like sh-t. The last half hour of that date felt like three and it was brutal. I HATE feeling like I made a date uncomfortable because I start to second guess myself. But, I know that I didn't do anything out of line (I wasn't handsy, I didn't ask personal questions, etc..etc..) so I'm over it now.

 

And, I'm in the same boat as you. This is the only time I have run across a woman that hasn't reciprocated with questions. And, this is the first time I have ever had a woman who was visibly bored and annoyed by the end of the date: we may not click but conversation stays polite and amicable until we part ways.

Posted
Things would have gone so much better for you if only you were a coffee drinker. She friend-zoned you when she found out you drink tea...

 

Hey, I'm a tea drinker! This is discrimination!

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Posted
Do you think part of it might be that your "date" was coffee in the morning? That sounds like a really boring date. Did you at least eat breakfast? Seems like a third date should be in the evening.

 

Seriously. All these "rules" are so stiff and unromantic.

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Posted

Well, the situation took another entertaining turn. She returned my text and apologized for the awkwardness of the date and stated that she "really liked going out with me" and that made her anxious because she doesn't date much.

 

I laid out the brass tacks for her and said that I don't have an agenda or any expectations outside of hanging out and relaxing that I have been having fun. So, we'll see, this last date was a nightmare but I might give a fourth a shot seeing as the first two were quality.

Posted
Well, the situation took another entertaining turn. She returned my text and apologized for the awkwardness of the date and stated that she "really liked going out with me" and that made her anxious because she doesn't date much.

 

I laid out the brass tacks for her and said that I don't have an agenda or any expectations outside of hanging out and relaxing that I have been having fun. So, we'll see, this last date was a nightmare but I might give a fourth a shot seeing as the first two were quality.

 

I would say definitely go for the fourth date.

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