found the perfect girl but still unhappy

[greengrotto]

This is probably my first healthy relationship i got into. The girl is really into me and i'm into her and we never fight or argue. However i find i'm still unhappy. I feel as though it's a lot of effort to have a girlfriend, and i get tired end of the day. she kinda lives far and the commute to meet her 3 times a week is a little stressful tho she also makes sure to meet up at my place at least once a week. i find with my work schedule i was actually much less stressed when single as i didn't need to give so much attention to someone else and saved a lot more money as well. Has anyone ever felt they are just better off single?

[Ami1uwant]

Yeah I've Bern in that situation before if it feels you are the one who has to drive to her then always pay for dates.

 

If you are beyond the early dating times and now in a relationship then she should pay for some dates. Another option If she makes dinner when you come to her pkace.

 

Do you ever stay over at her place for the night??

[d0nnivain]

I often feel a bit smothered at the beginning of a new relationship because it is time consuming & I have less time for myself. It's a balance. Life can be more fun with a partner but you do need to carve out me time.

 

 

Try planning cheaper dates. Use Groupon. Split the bill. Dinner & drinks for 2 adds up fast especially 3x per week.

[stillafool]

It's a lot less stressful to be single and not be in love. I don't know why more people don't enjoy it.

[Lilyana76]

If you are entering into a relationship expecting it will make you happy, you are in a relationship for the wrong reason.

 

Take some time off to work on you, only you can make yourself happy.

[ChatroomHero]

I always have an adjustment phase. It takes a bit of time from having a free Saturday all day and going to Home Depot and getting a project done around the house to having to do the project but the next 5 weekends are booked with meet ups, going out, working around someone else's schedule which seems taxing.

 

 

If I give it time I find after a while you get used to the new responsibilities and it seems like less of a burden and you get more into doing different things and having different experiences you wouldn't normally have.

 

 

Like at first it's a burden to go to a party for her family and friends with her, but after a bit you start to enjoy it because you meet new friends you really click with and go to concerts, hiking, parks, events etc. that you would miss out on otherwise and that becomes fun.

 

 

I would say give it time so you can get used to the lifestyle change and soon you might find you would rather enjoy those things than miss out by sticking to your old routine.

[kendahke]

Only with regards to having peace of mind, home and heart.

 

She may be a great girl, but she's geographically undesirable. Location location location! Proximity is a huge factor in relationships succeeding. You can have all the love in the world, but you can't make traffic and distance disappear unless you move closer together.

[reeseyummy]

My ex and I lived 3 hours away. Most of the time I'd take the train down to his place on Friday night (I'd probably shop a little or do some of my own stuff on Friday night before I hop on the train), then we spend the late night together, watching some tv, drinking with his friends, and we'd have brunch on Saturday morning. I thought it was a pretty sweet schedule.

 

If you 2 live far, 3 times a week is A LOT! We all have work and time for ourselves. But if you're super into each other, you can balance it off, seeing each other a little less is okay, as long as you have enough quality time together. Try talking to her a little, maybe she feels the same way. Or, just try adjusting your time together. Longer quality dates, less time on traveling will keep you both happy.

 

If she's a nice girl, don't screw up just because of distance!

[smackie9]

You are not THAT into her. If you were excited about her you would look forward to seeing her because time with her is relaxing, and someone to decompress with, take your mind off the stresses of work. You are just not with the right person.......Find someone who lives closer, someone who enjoys their space, pays for dates too, and enjoys evenings in. (hah sound like me lol)