I feel horrible :(

[smint]

I am 31 years old,coming from east Europe,and I live in middle east for last 4 years.I work as cabin crew and I used to date turkish guy.Half year ago he resigned and came back to his country.We were seeing each other every second month.

 

Life here is so sterile and sometimes desperate.Sleeping disorders are messing your life.But with this job finally I have enough money for normal life,since I had less paid jobs in the past.

 

Problems started when he went home.In his tradition is arranged marriage.He was pushed by family to get married and since I rejected to go to Turkey and leave everything I have,he is turning 35 in few days,so he told me that he can not wait for me anymore.He sees happy families around him,and he is alone at home bla bla bla...

 

I am very sad.I am saving money for a long to buy property in Europe and to get benefits there.To have snt my own.And he knows that and he liked the idea.But he could not wait for that anymore.

I have to start no contact,but I don't know how will I do it and how to go on now.I gave so much in that relationship.

He kept telling me that I still don't trust him,and expecting me to leave job and everything I have and to get married and have kids.But what if snt goes wrong,and I have nothing in strange country where I don't even speak the language.He would be surrounded with his family and he has stable job and home.

I don't know if I made mistake,since he is stable strong man,I love him so much,but why he could not wait me to settle and have snt mine as I wanted.I dates before in my home country 7 years one guy and after break up my whole world fall appart.I just can't go through the same thing again.

[Telemachus]

You wouldn't be going through the same thing again. You were about age 20 then, and you're more expeienced, worldly, and hopefully wise now. Your situation is very different now.

 

The two of you have different goals and values. You each tried to propose arrangements to be together, but the terms were still too far apart.

 

if you were 35, as he is, you might not be willing to wait for an unspecified period of time either. You also never committed to live in Turkey, which became his plan.

 

Having incompatible goals and values is probably the best and most understandable reason for ending a relationship.

 

You plan to earn more money and move to Europe and you can still do that, just not with this one particular man. Having one means not having the other, and you made your choice.

 

Stay confident in your choice. It's what you said you wanted, and probably still do.

[smint]

Telemachus,

Thank youb o much for your answer.I have noone to talk with.You are right,if I am 35 I would probably not wait for someone who is not sure.Standards he set for that marriage were too high.He told me 80% of childcare is on me as mother,20% will be on him,then he said that he wants his wife to work,and not to stay at home and sleep long.

I got scared of not having any property or anything mine,he would be surrounded with his family and I would be far away from my family,in strange country and language I don't speak.I would have no plan B.

I gave so much to him.Everywhere I used to travel I was bringing the best things I could find.I was available for sex for him even when it was too much for me and many things.

What hurst me the most is that he lied to me at first when he was leaving Dubai,he said that he got terminated,then he admitted that he lied bcs he doesn't know how to break up.And yesterday when he told me on the phone he can't waste his time anymore,he was so cold in some moments.

So he is alone 6 months and it is the end of the world for him.His mother is constantly finding him some candidates women to marry him,and until now he was refusing,at least he said that.

So to sum it up,I was supposed to leave everything,go to Turkey,born his children,at the same time to pay bills and look good as well(since he had commenta on me getting fat).

I couldn't wait to dinish today's flight to come to room to cry.