xyz100 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Background: I (22f)*and a guy have been sort of seeing each other for 2 months.*Honestly now I don't*even know if we*were really dating, because although he was interested in me at the beginning, we never texted or talked outside of when we meet (which is once every week), and*for the last*2*times it has been me that initiated*the "dates".*When I stopped asking him out*on*one week he*didn't*initiate anything either. So*lately I decided that he is probably not interested anymore so I asked him to meet up once again before we graduate from university*(it's in a month). He came, the dinner was mediocre*but afterwards*I decided to*let him know*how I feel and here is our text*exchange. My question is, when he says "let me know if you want to hang out again", I am a bit unsure whether he means to*just stay*friends or he*is also interested in pursuing something further.*I*might be overthinking this, but honestly*what do you think?*Also is*there*anything I*can ask to*really know what he means?* Me: Hey X, actually there was something I want to tell you just now but didn't catch a chance. I just want to say I really like you and I have been thinking about you a lot when I am not with you. I know you don't like me in that way so you don't have to say anything. This is just something I want to tell you. Anyways, thanks for spending the time and I really enjoyed talking to you. I wish you all the best for all your future endeavors, and sorry for sometimes asking you too much random questions and looking unconvinced about what you said (haha I know that and I hope I didn't look too judgy to you ) If I don't run into you again, hope you have a great summer! Him: Hey (my name), thanks for letting me know, I really appreciate it.* I also enjoyed our talks.* Good luck with finals and let me know if you want to hang out again. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Don't like the sounds of this. You said you were interested, he's saying "thanks but whatever" by his response. I think you should move on and let him contact you again if he wants to see you again. If not, it's what it is. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Jammer25 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Don't overthink it. He's just not that into you. Move on, you're young and will meet plenty of other guys. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xyz100 Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 Don't like the sounds of this. You said you were interested, he's saying "thanks but whatever" by his response. I think you should move on and let him contact you again if he wants to see you again. If not, it's what it is. Don't overthink it. He's just not that into you. Move on, you're young and will meet plenty of other guys. Thanks guys, honestly I am so relieved hearing that because it means I no longer have to think about it. Maybe I am overthinking again, but do you think it makes any difference if I told him I am moving to a city far away from where he is staying just before texting him? Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 7His response is less than enthusiastic. This one's a bust. Sorry. It hurts.1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Thanks guys, honestly I am so relieved hearing that because it means I no longer have to think about it. Maybe I am overthinking again, but do you think it makes any difference if I told him I am moving to a city far away from where he is staying just before texting him? Yeah sorry, he was just trying to be nice, he's probably not romantically interested. He pretty much ignored the part about you liking him, and I only say "let me know" to people who flaked on me in the past, or if I don't think we'll really hang out again anyway. You moving away should actually have motivated him to see you more if he was into you. If you mean you still want to text him that, it's not going to make a difference. A guy who likes you would make plans, instead of leaving it all up to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm gonna play devil's advocate here. What makes his response say have a nice life? He leaves open the door by saying paraphrasing: 'let me know if you want to hang out sometime.' If dude's done he's not going to leave any glimmer of hope, right? After all she's "busy" with school and by all accounts nobody wants to be the one who interferes with a person's schooling. What says you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xyz100 Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm gonna play devil's advocate here. What makes his response say have a nice life? He leaves open the door by saying paraphrasing: 'let me know if you want to hang out sometime.' If dude's done he's not going to leave any glimmer of hope, right? After all she's "busy" with school and by all accounts nobody wants to be the one who interferes with a person's schooling. What says you? About the "busy with school" part, I kind of told him I already feel like I am on holiday and not really busy with anything. But it's true that I hope he would not leave any hope by saying if you want to hang out again if he is not interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 He's just being nice without telling her he's just not interested in her. If he were, he'd ask her out. Pretty simple. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Empyrea Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Yep, no ambiguity here. He was slowly fading you out anyway and you made it a lot easier for everyone by telling him that you can sort of tell that he's not that into you and that it's okay, allowing him to politely agree. Very nice clean break, could have been a lot messier, because he was obviously taking the easier-to-fade-out-than-have-to-tell-her-to-her-face route. And I'm sure you won't miss those mediocre dinners too much. Onwards and upwards! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Thanks guys, honestly I am so relieved hearing that because it means I no longer have to think about it. Maybe I am overthinking again, but do you think it makes any difference if I told him I am moving to a city far away from where he is staying just before texting him? Just let it go.....contacting him to see if he will react is just being desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
Sm12345 Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 OP, you texted him way too much. And you should definitely say that sort of thing in person, in less words. Link to post Share on other sites
Power_Forward Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 He's lazy. He likes having sex with you, but he will expend no effort to push things further. You would be wasting your time to pursue this. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 He's not interested. If he was, he'd have suggested it. Link to post Share on other sites
kidm Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Yah, that's done. Do not contact him again. "Let me know if you want to hang out again" is code for meet for sex (assuming you were intimate with him). He doesn't sound like he was that interested when you first started hanging out and it's not going to change. Once again, he wants you to ask him out and he'll show up just because it's something to do. You deserve more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Jason Van Jason Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 I'm very surprised and shocked by the responses in this thread! "Let me know if you want to hang out!!" is a feeler response, meaning he is into you, but is not sure if you are into him. Men often do this when they are ready to move on, not because they are not into you, but they feel that you are not into them. Be mindful however, that if you play into his dependence of needing to be validated by your response, it will quickly become a common theme among your interactions with this person. Finally, to all you people who say "That means sex," let me fill you in.. EVERYTHING, to a man, means sex. Sex is and will always be on the table, even when you exclusively say it is not.. Still, we try. Us men, we know that sex is usually not something agreed upon, but a simple capitalization in a moment of weakness. We live for that moment. That moment, is why we were put on this earth. Overall, I disagree with the responses, but I do agree that you should probably just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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