Is he even interested?

[Hara]

I'm new to this forum, but I really need a bit of advice about tomorrow.

 

I am now a junior in college and I've had serious feelings for my guy friend for over two years now. He was diagnosed with cancer after the first semester and had to withdraw, but we stayed close -- he visited every couple of weeks and we spoke online extensively every day. Last year we were seperate again even though he's in remission because we went overseas to seperate countries, but even then we visited each other. Still just friends I guess, but he came to see me twice and I went to see him twice despite the price.

 

Now we're back at the same school for the first time in what seems like forever. I've always gotten vibes from him that there might be something more. Between travelling and visits we've slept in the same bed together and once it got sort of strange. We've held hands but never kissed. I'm frustrated because it's really odd now. He comes to see me often, usually several times a day, but just to tease me, not to talk. He always singles me out and pays elaborate attention to me, but as a friendship it's awkward rather than comfortable. He still fumbles over words or gets really self conscious as do I. I can't think of a soul I know who isn't completely aware of my feelings except for him -- because of my behavior not because I tell them. This includes close friends of his so I'm baffled if he doesn't have some idea.

 

Maybe I'm overly paranoid but we leave school tomorrow for a month and I feel like I should say something before I have to say goodbye again. Should I wait for something more definite since our friendship is already rocky enough? Would it put too much pressure on the break? Is it normal for our friendship to feel this distant even though we've been through so much together and confide so much in each other? I just dont' know what to think anymore.

[seagirl]

If you have "serious feelings" for him I would say just go for it! the best relationships come from deep friendsships. It makes everything easier. Just sit him down and tell him that you want this friendship to go to the next level.

 

good luck!