DUMPED by text

[PegNosePete]

when a girl breaks up with you and doesn't contact for 5 weeks but only to say I don't ever want to see you again after a 3 year steady good relationship is that a good sign its well over ?

Yes. She has made it very clear that it is well and truly over.

[Apple1977]

Things are not getting any better for me now I'm lay in bed all day hoping wishing something will change just any form of contact I'm so hurt I'm starting to look at pages of how to commit suicide ... I'm so upset and down and I'll never understand why why he did this to me made me feel like the bad persons and why I feel like I'm the guilty one

[breadbin]

you need to go to your doctor and tell them you are suicidal. Failing that go to the nearest hospital. have you anybody to talk to face to face? tell them. you need to forget about the girl and get help for yourself.

[Apple1977]

So she messaged out the blue after we haven't spoke for 7 days what do you think of this ??

 

rachel:

I hate that you have made it impossible for us to even keep in touch. It's really really sad that it's come to this and I wanted to try and at least keep some contact with you... but whatever I say, you take it the wrong way and think we're going to get back together, which regardless of what happens, it isn't going to happen!

AM1:

Sad

rachel:

You went behind my back and contacted my friends.... I only know about 2 so I dread to actually think how many you have messaged

AM1:

Not looking for excuses you spoiled a good thing without giving me or is a chance

3 years

rachel:

Anyway, yeah, I'm sure you hate me now. I'm sure you're family do too. I hate ending anything in life on bad terms but unfortunately, it's what it's come to

You had plenty of chances

It wasn't the first time you pulled this ****

AM1:

Didn't need to come to that though

Anyway

Take care

rachel:

You can't even have a civil conversation

Fine.... goodbye

AM1:

No i tried instead in turned into me begging and then being blocked then having no options to fight for what I loved then walking into a jelwers to run your ring

Yeah goodbye

rachel:

What??

You're message just came through

Look how nasty and bitter you have become

AM1:

Love that's called

You cut me off

rachel:

With good reason

AM1:

No one hates you here by the way

rachel:

You did this stace. You brought this on. You caused this hurt and upset.... on more than one occasion

AM1:

Yes but I knew that from day one

That Friday rachel

But couldn't get you to see that

rachel:

I did see that

You had your chances

AM1:

That's ok then

rachel:

And you couldn't accept the fact that you finally had your last one

AM1:

Can I ask something

rachel:

What?

AM1:

Don't take this wrong way

rachel:

If you're going to ask me if there's someone else, no there isn't!!!!!!!!!!

AM1:

do you Still love me

I'm not going to ask stuff like that

I want to go forward not back

rachel:

I'm sure you're convinced that I'm with someone else and that's why I left.

AM1:

Rachel I'm not bothered I'm over it

I tryed

I'd of liked the option to fight for us and everything we could of talked about and I would of finally put right

But I don't want it myself anymore now

rachel:

We were past a point of fighting for anything.

AM1:

Everyday I could kick myself over this really could

Yes I'm not interested in a realtionship now

rachel:

I don't want you to kick yourself over it

Ok

AM1:

I'm over it

rachel:

Ok

AM1:

Don't worry and I'm not being funny I'm going to look after me now

But while your here

rachel:

Good

AM1:

All honesty while your here

I just needed that one chance gods truth that everything was going to be put right .. truth that

rachel:

You had your chances

AM1:

I took your ring back I was so upset

rachel:

You had a million of them

AM1:

Killed me that

Well it's ok I just needed one

rachel:

Ok

AM1:

So don't worry

I won't lie your pictures are still over my bed I look at them every morning and every night and ask myself why did it come to this at all we only needed to talk

rachel:

I found our pictures today

AM1:

Yes

I think about us everyday

rachel:

And although it isn't on the finger you bought it for, I have not taken my ring off in weeks. Not even for bed or to shower

AM1:

Every sat I watch the ship sail in and sail out because that's what I enjoyed being part of your life

That's good I love that you wear the ring

You know you meant a lot to me

rachel:

Yes

AM1:

I look at our pictures and all the moemoiers of us

 

But I'm glad I could see it this time made me learn a big lesson that when I look at it needed learning it came with a big price but I see it that I shouted of said those words

No one hates you here everyone misses you the kids ask for you

rachel:

And what's your plan now?

AM1:

Anyway I hope your ok you don't mind that I watch the ship in the morning do you

My plan I don't have one I have lots of options but I don't know

My plans I had with you

I open my drawers it's all us

Pjs .. t shirts ... I look around my room it's all us

What's yours ?

rachel:

I somehow need to finish what I started

AM1:

Well yeah I waited 10 months to do that with you

rachel:

And find myself again

AM1:

You will be fine

That women messaged about the place

I just made out if talking to you

AM1:

Would be nice to if used that time to see if there was a chance to build us back given we could of had separate rooms

Can I tell you something

I don't ever think those things of you ever and I've always thought your beautfuil always just so you know that ok

Where are you in bed like me

rachel:

It doesn't change what was said

Yes, I'm in bed. Like every night. I'm exhausted

AM1:

I'm not looking for a chance or begging I'm telling you how I feel

rachel:

I know

AM1:

But we lost a good thing I believe

Something that could of been sorted

Really miss you you know

Every night I wish you was here by my side just to cuddle and hold

My top drawer full of red roses

Lol

rachel:

What

AM1:

I bought red roses because I was going to one night fill a bath put candles around it and lay them from the front door to the bath and cook a romantic meal for us mum got them for me

Ha

One Friday after you finished college I was going to do that for u

rachel:

They must be dead?

AM1:

I even booked that hoar cross hall as a surprise

No there artificial

rachel:

Ok

AM1:

Just ****ed everything up that day things needed to change though I was being over protective and things maybe a little and just being sillly I can see that now

So this although a bad experience has taught me a lot about where I was going wrong with us

rachel:

Me too

AM1:

I was fare to over protective but that only was I wanted to make sure you were safe after everything that happened to you

 

AM1:

 

I just needed to chill out and relax a little more about working about you is all

rachel:

If I told you i was going to the bar, you were kicking off

AM1:

Yes

rachel:

So I stopped telling you

Although I think I've been 5 times this contract

AM1:

Yes not that it matters it's just a bar right but I just worried about you is all

But yeah things needed to change I needed to lay off a bit I was crushing us maybe

This few weeks has made me think a lot

rachel:

Sorry for waking you

AM1:

I don't sleep lol

rachel:

Well that's not good for you

AM1:

I lay thinking most nights

 

rachel:

Are you still going to the gym?

AM1:

No I stopped one week after us falling out I was to sad

I couldn't do it I just was to focused on us and wanting to put things right

The whole situation has broke my heart

I was hoping we was going to work out toghter to in Sunderland

 

rachel:

I haven't been for a while properly either

AM1:

Yes I was looking forward to that with you

I was looking forward to lots

Things we could still do .. mum dad miss you to

rachel:

Did you tell them what happened?

AM1:

Not like over the top info

Just said I called you names and you fell out and we broke it off

And they was like your a dick lol

And they was like hope you work it out etc etc that's all really they ask about you all the time and if we are getting closer to fixing anything they miss you to ha ha

Who did you tell Ross and Sarah?

rachel:

Yeah and shaun and kate.

rachel:

Why did you messaging my friends?

AM1:

I didn't mean anything by it I just asked could they help me Connie t with you so I could try and show you that I understand I was hesitant on the situation because I did feeel it was our private business but I thought there friends and hopefully that would help us

After I sent it I was like maybe that wasn't the right thing

rachel:

Who exactly did you message

AM1:

Just Ross and Kirsten

That's it

Because after I'd messaged I thought it wasn't the right thing to do

rachel:

Ok

AM1:

What you think about Southampton ?

You in your own rooom

Me in mine

Maybe see where it goes ?

rachel:

At this point, it isn't something I can think about

AM1:

Ok

rachel:

I'm sorry

AM1:

That's fare enough

That's ok I'm just curious

Miss you though

rachel:

I need to get some sleep.

AM1:

Ok

You sleep well ok

 

rachel:

You too... talk soon

AM1:

Ok

Miss you sleep well

[Apple1977]

So know I'm getting really confused about things, she messages yestoday telling me about her shopping trip and that she's bought new underwear and bras and shorts etc etc. And then I got straight to the point would you like to meet for dinner to which she said I'll let you know about dinner.

 

So I've been unblocked she's made contact and she kind of talks etc etc ? Is this just testing me ? Any ideas guys

[ExpatInItaly]

She isn't interested, OP. Currently, she's using for the attention and it's clear she doesn't actually respect you.

 

You have to stop this.

Edited March 26, 2017 by ExpatInItaly

[Apple1977]

ok thank you

[BluesPower]

This is a hard one to follow...

 

Help me understand something. Your GF was cheating on you, and hey way more that twice for sure, but I digress.

 

So she claims to be raped by the guys she just slept with, which OK I guess it could happen.

 

So you get over that, OK fine, stuff happens. You want to go visit her and she blows you off. You are confused. Don't be by the way, she was either banging the same guy or a different one and did not want you breaking up the party by coming and visiting.

 

You had a big fight and you called her names and she broke it off.

 

And this is the woman that you wanted to kill yourself over?

 

Do I have the basics or did I really miss something important?

[Apple1977]

I know right how messed up is that, she messaged over the last few days small talk asking how I was I keep it polite and then she dissaoered afain fir 48 hours. I mean she's home in 3 days lol I'm sure I'll get texts by Friday out of boredom

[Apple1977]

She can go and funk herself though I gave her the option to fix stuff she kicked it in my face lol so up the dirty badger to her I'll find a real women

[ExpatInItaly]

I know right how messed up is that, she messaged over the last few days small talk asking how I was I keep it polite and then she dissaoered afain fir 48 hours. I mean she's home in 3 days lol I'm sure I'll get texts by Friday out of boredom

 

Say what?

 

I am guessing you meant to type "She disappeared again for 48 hours"?

 

You really need to block her. She does not deserve a place in your life.

[Apple1977]

She ignores anything I have to say now about things.

Edited April 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[Apple1977]

Yes she's a time waster as I say though she's home in two days lol let's see if she starts to message I'm never taking her back the selfish ass she is

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes she's a time waster as I say though she's home in two days lol let's see if she starts to message I'm never taking her back the selfish ass she is

 

Unfortunately, I don't believe that.

 

I think you would take her back in a heartbeat. I say that because for some reason, you're still talking to her. Someone who truly would not do it again would have blocked her by now. My gut says you are hoping she says sorry and asks for another chance. And I can see from what you've written that you don't have very strong personal boundaries or self-respect, which means you would probably try again with her. You've attached so much of your self-image to this undeserving girl that you would more than likely let her in to your life again, even if just to make you feel better temporarily.

 

Until you get at the root of the problem - ignoring terrible behaviour and learning to protect your own value - this won't change. You are going about healing and moving on all wrong, sadly.

 

You deserve more but you don't believe it. I do hope you get there someday so you stop enabling girls like her to use and mistreat you.

[Apple1977]

So lets get some input here can a women lose here feelings in 4 weeks from a loving relationship and no break up issues just out right up and leave ? just a question ? next question what would make a women still wear a ring you gave her after your break up ? next question why do some women cut you off tell you they don't want to see you and never contact them again but then make contact with you and say they want you to stay in touch because you have history? next question why do they want to meet up but tell you don't want to give false hope because they don't want to be with you but want to meet you? just a few questions not aimed at me but in general? looking forward to input

[PegNosePete]

So lets get some input here can a women lose here feelings in 4 weeks from a loving relationship and no break up issues just out right up and leave ?

In the case of your ex, no. She clearly had no feelings in the first place so it's a moot question. There were many "break up issues" such as her sleeping with other guy(s).

 

what would make a women still wear a ring you gave her after your break up ?

Take your pick...

- She likes it.

- It's expensive.

- Habit.

- Forgetfulness.

- Trying to prove something to somebody.

- Trying to manipulate you.

 

why do some women cut you off tell you they don't want to see you and never contact them again but then make contact with you and say they want you to stay in touch because you have history?

Because they want you to boost their ego.

 

why do they want to meet up but tell you don't want to give false hope because they don't want to be with you but want to meet you?

Again, ego boost.

[Apple1977]

hi Pete . I thought you might of been first of the fence thanks for your input its more curiosity some of it is related to me but I was just browsing and seeing that people seem to have similar things going on hope your good mate

[Apple1977]

So if you read my other posts first you will get the story line about this post... but basically we went for dinner she held my hand across the table, we talked etc etc I walked her to her car we kissed peck kisses not on the lips mind.

 

We talked about moving in the same place still next week, she said she will think about it but I shouldn't get my hopes up, she told me she has another option to stay with a friend and his parents while she's at college for 14 weeks, hence this is the move with me as planned or the option of staying with a male college friend at his parents home. I have to be honest that gutted me to hear that a complete trough back I asked right away is there something going on, she said not a chance she doesn't like him that way he's a friend. Anyway I text her but I don't really get a response only if she feels like it or that how it feels, what do you guys think ? at the min she's in London until Monday visiting a female friend. In all honesty the likely reply is going to be she going to say no right ? what you guys think ?

[Simple Logic]

So if you read my other posts first you will get the story line about this post... but basically we went for dinner she held my hand across the table, we talked etc etc I walked her to her car we kissed peck kisses not on the lips mind.

 

We talked about moving in the same place still next week, she said she will think about it but I shouldn't get my hopes up, she told me she has another option to stay with a friend and his parents while she's at college for 14 weeks, hence this is the move with me as planned or the option of staying with a male college friend at his parents home. I have to be honest that gutted me to hear that a complete trough back I asked right away is there something going on, she said not a chance she doesn't like him that way he's a friend. Anyway I text her but I don't really get a response only if she feels like it or that how it feels, what do you guys think ? at the min she's in London until Monday visiting a female friend. In all honesty the likely reply is going to be she going to say no right ? what you guys think ?

 

It is a sign you are lieing to yourself. You are not going tos get the relationship you want from this woman.

[Apple1977]

yes it was a 3 year one just ended 6 weeks ago dinner was 2 days ago its crazy

[Been]

Go strict No Contact. And yes she is lying to you and you know it.

The more you beg the further you drive her away.

[jamili]

Strict NC. You seem to eager to try to reconcile with her and it's turning her off. She needs to feel that she wants you. Special emphasis on "feel". She won't feel that if you are so available and so badly wanting her.

 

It's super counter-intuitive thinking, but it's just how it is . Only way she'll want you after dumping you is if she has to work for you, not the other way around.

 

She's not "lying" she's just not feeling it and doesn't know how to express that without hurting you. She's being selfish, in a way. You made big mistakes by texting her AT ALL after that breakup. You are already behind and it's gonna take some hardcore NC to damage control this one. That means you go NC immediately, NEVER EVER for the rest of your existence in this universe contact her again. Ignore her contact too, which I'm betting anything will come in spades once you actually do real NC. Ignore her, let her feel what she's lost.

Edited April 9, 2017 by jamili

[Apple1977]

I'm not to sure though guys on what to think ? I mean she's like we are over blah blah but then she questioned why I had put all her pictures away of us both she's very confusing when all she has to do is say shall we try again

 

Women are mad as f@@@ lol basvailly dumped me via text 7 weeks ago lol

[Apple1977]

Can't believe this happened to me what a complete joker this women I'd

And tomorrow she takes off without me when we had plans to be toghter. For the next 5 months

[Marc878]

What's amazing is you're still hanging onto the breadcrumbs.

 

Why?