Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 but I think everyones right here to cut me off shows no love no feelings nothing hey? I mean 2 weeks after the break off I said do you love me, do you miss me, can you forgive me, ? she said yes yes no. So very strange women you wouldn't think she was 27 years old.
1fish2fish Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 (edited) I missed something here, Apple. What did you do that you had to ask her for forgiveness? She's the one who cheated on you multiple times, correct? You deserve better. And I think your plan of buying an RV and traveling through Europe is brilliant! Do it! Edited March 21, 2017 by 1fish2fish spelling 2
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 hi fish yeah your not missing anything she cheated on me I forgave her then she caused a fall out between us 3 year relationship I said your a lier and a cheat in the argument and she ended it cut me off blocked me from making any contact after a cooling of period and some how I've begged for 2 weeks pleaded and then somehow im the one left feeling guilty of a crime haha ?? so yeah your reading it right not even to mention she new id booked a meal for us and paid with no refunds at a posh restaurant booked a fancy hotel arranged a hot air ballon ride and bought a very very expensive ring to propose ?? so yeah crazy or what
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 To think as well I trusted this women for 3 years while she worked away for 4 months at a time and I stayed home keeping everything going so sad
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Ive actually sat and waited for her in total no word of a lie 12 months actually April to April I've waited, I spent 4 weeks in Spain with her and 3 weeks in august last year where I took her to Disneyland Paris. and 5 days I had with her 6 weeks ago when she returned home to sort out some paperwork .... absolutely gutted I am
Grathblagg Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Who cares about payback? She did you a favor. She's a cheater. Honorable people are honest, break up, and then sleep around. She slept around first. Don't ever beg again. It doesn't make a difference, and all that it really does is make you feel worse about YOU. If she contacts you, tell her that you've moved on, and NOTHING MORE. NOTHING. No heartfelt conversations. Nothing. You have nothing to gain by associating with a cheater. Now, if she told you ahead of time that the relationship was over, and you ignored it, or decided to "forget" that part of a conversation, then you need to take a hard look at yourself, because that's creepy. 2
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 OP you deserve to be with someone better. Don't allow her to dangle the carrot of contacting you when she's back. She's told you she doesn't want to be in a relationship. She's been so cold to not even allow you to discuss the reasons. It's a horrible situation but don't you think you deserve to be with someone better? Cut all contact and find time to heal. All the best. 1
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 thanks for the input.. Told me ahead of time the relationship was over ?? she didn't say that she caused a fuss over something small, then ended it and cut me off without explanation or conversing she had cheated 5 months previous before confessing to which I forgave her for some 5 months after it had happened and she told me ? I don't need telling its over I understand and don't want her back, my purpose of this matter is understanding what causes a person to proceed with these followings
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Hello confused, Yes you are right I agree what shameful way to end ones relationship hey, and yes I do believe when she's home in 9 days the carrots will be dangled until she moves to uni some 10 days later a game non doubt to pass some time and save her from boredom no doubt and you are right I deserve better but I think im going to lean back from this, and learn about myself and find myself again
breadbin Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Please do that. Look after yourself. Do what is good for you and this girl seems not to be so good for you. You're not alone here, this board is literally full of tales like this. The usual advice is to not contact her at all. There is a sticky on the first page. This is the best way to heal yourself. As an afterthought. I struggle with self esteem and like you I begged my ex to come back to me. She didn't cheat on me but dumped me for a ton of reasons, reasons like I was too heavy, I snored, I didn't text her back straight away, I didn't get regular check ups etc. She basically had a list of faults and gave me that list. My friends were saying how can you let her treat you like that? I think if our self esteem is low we let people walk all over us. There is no way you should be apologising and begging but I did the same. I regret every bit of it and it's only now I can see what a whingy little sap I was. 2
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Hi Breadbin Thank you for your input .. yes utter disgusting treatment im sorry to hear of your loss to its very shocking when a person does this of course I've been offered many reasons why she would do this all which make sense but none of which add up to the person I thought I knew. Time will tell who knows what is going on what she's up to if anything, the thing is ill never know and will never find out. so my validations are she's with another, she cheated a few times and her guilt won't let her carry on so its easier to get shut of me hence her guilt goes away? I've no idea I just know she made up so many excuses one after the other to justify something tat was as simple as a minor fall out via text that lasted no more then 2 mins ?? so im confessed completely, then when I asked for reasons cut me off only thing I managed to get was its lots of things why ??
Grathblagg Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I don't need telling its over I understand and don't want her back, my purpose of this matter is understanding what causes a person to proceed with these followings Because people are selfish, Apple. Just because you have a personal code of conduct that would not allow you behave that way, doesn't mean that everyone does. While it is natural to ask why people behave the way that they do, it is not helpful, as the answer is "They are what they are". Part of moving on is saying to yourself, "It is what it is", and not dwelling on trying to figure out why the mush between that woman's ears is defective. 2
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Thank you your input means a lot im opening my eyes more with each reply
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 I do wonder why though she asked me to stay quiet for 4 weeks until she returns home and then she will message if I want her to but she's not asking m e to wait around ?? odd hey ??
Grathblagg Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I do wonder why though she asked me to stay quiet for 4 weeks until she returns home and then she will message if I want her to but she's not asking m e to wait around ?? odd hey ?? It's not odd at all if she's trying to move on. It's not odd at all if she considers herself single now, and doesn't want those around her to suspect different. You should be moving on as well. 1
keiji Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I do wonder why though she asked me to stay quiet for 4 weeks until she returns home and then she will message if I want her to but she's not asking m e to wait around ?? odd hey ?? Because she said it was OK with her to have a coffee with you, nothing else. You are trying to find hidden meanings when she's made it very clear that she's done with you, which is very good for you because she's not worthy of your time. She's a cheater. What else do you need to see to wave her goodbye for good? She's done you a big favor, even if right now it hurts too much for you to see it. 1
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 You guys think she has another man ? with the cut of being so easy and clean for her sorry guys im a pain I know she was intaily thinking about getting back with me for the first 9 days but decided against it when after 9 days of no contact I asked had she thought about things haha then thats what it turned
breadbin Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 People want what they can't have. When you let go of her and move on she will probably make a play for you but don't give in. If you can ride out the storm for a couple of months your head will be in a better place to make a decision. 1
keiji Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 You guys think she has another man ? with the cut of being so easy and clean for her sorry guys im a pain I know she was intaily thinking about getting back with me for the first 9 days but decided against it when after 9 days of no contact I asked had she thought about things haha then thats what it turned I think all these questions are irrelevant and they're only prolonging your suffering. As I said earlier, you should ask yourself why you put up with the fact that she cheated on you twice. The fact that she may or may not have another man has no importance whatsoever in this case. She's had them before and has shown no regard for your feelings. That should be more than enough for you to go NC and never speak to her again. Would you take her back? If so, could you trust her after all she's done to you? If the answers are 1. no and 2. no, you're wasting your time looking for explanations as to why she did this or that. The bottom line is that she's not good to you and, in any event, she's said she doesn't want to be with you anymore. You're only increasing your pain. 1
Author Apple1977 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Thank you guys I know your right .. I think deep down I'm just gutted and upset that I thought I'd found my wife what I've waited so long to find her things seemed good but clear I was a fool damm I'm so gutted
Author Apple1977 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Posted March 22, 2017 So left me out the blue cuts all contact with me forces no chance of reconsilation leave me high and dry then texts this when I ask how are you after 4 weeks of no contact here's my storey below
Author Apple1977 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) So it turns out we was toghter 3 years a lovely fun carrying realtionship from the start until what seemed up until about 6 months ago. This lady works at sea in America and in here in the uk we are both British and from the same villiage shes 27 I’m 35 ok so last year she goes away to sea as normal in the April for 5 months during this time she cheats on me with a co worker on the ship to which I don’t find out about until Jan this year some 5 months later.when she arrives home late augest last year something felt different with her but she came around as normal and things were fine and at this point allowed me to put a promise ring on her finger which made me very happy. ok so come sept she’s due to be in Spain for dry dock to which I meet her there fans stay and holiday with her for 4 weeks.during this period she is attacked and raped on the ship by a co worker .which then after 5 weeks of looking into things turns out according to sources that she had started a relationship with this person and had gone back to a cabin after a party to have sex with him. Then refused sex in the morning with him and he raped her. now I’m getting to my point I forgive her for cheating in augest and stood by and supported her every day from her ordeal brought her home comforted her looked after her etc etc then 3 weeks after the attack she then goes back to sea ?? Odd right so xmas told round new year etc etc then less then 4 weeks ago I say to her I might come visit you how amazing would that be to which she replys if you come and visit me in my last 6 weeks I’ll be annoyed ?? To which I say why I thought it would be nice and she responds forget it you don’t understand I say why sweet what’s up she replys f*** off so my instant feeling given the past was to say your cheating on me and your a lier to which she just outright tells me I’m a ass and ends us there and then after waiting 5 months for her return. This I found odd because she also knew that I’d bought a 2000 pound dimond engement ring and had made plans to propose booked hotels meals etc etc all which I had to disclose to her a few weeks earlier when she first told me about her cheating. anyway in a nut shell she has cut me off for 4 week now had me begging and pleading which stopped a week ago from me then says I won’t talk to you for 4 weeks now until I’m home but says we can meet for coffee when I’m home but doesn’t mean we are sorting things out and then doesn’t text me doesnt talk makes no effort tells me she doesn’t want to hurt me diorsnt want to be with me etc etc and then finally 4 days ago complete blocks me. I ask her before she blocks me can we fix this go slow tells me no I don’t want to be with you etc etc I say what about your ring she says it’s not mine it’s yours which really hurt me … what can be going on guys ?? What advice and thoughts do you have please ??? Edited March 22, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs~T
William Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Moderation merged two similar threads on this relationship issue so there may be some overlapping or duplicate material. Please continue the discussion here. Thank you!
Author Apple1977 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Posted March 22, 2017 when a girl breaks up with you and doesn't contact for 5 weeks but only to say I don't ever want to see you again after a 3 year steady good relationship is that a good sign its well over ?
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