Notsolucky25 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Simply put, im not attractive. Im just not. Ive never been told im pretty or hit on or asked out. Men my age deny me constantly. When im sublte, when i lay it on thick, when i dont try at all, when i do...doesnt matter its always a laugh or "im taken" then i see them hit on my friend. Thats okay, i can accept im not good looking but god i do everything to try and make up for it. I get my hair done, top of line make up, cute clothes, good job, make sure i smell like f**king sunshine and roses.. and love going out dancing, dinner, concerts, watching football, the gym, once in a while church..so im surrounded by men and yet No man has EVER hit on me, tried to talk to me, asked me out..Even in a bar full of drunken idiots i still get the hand. Im well put together, never sloppy or slutty. I have came on to men before or asked them to dance, how they are, if they need a drink, would like to hangout sometime and its always a no or just a look or they shake their head and turn away..i try. At this point i just want sex even, like i know im ugly i even leave before you wake up God even a smile would make my world or a guy holding the door open for me would seriously make me so happy. I feel like im the only woman that gets this treatment, anyone else? I have a good amount of confidence, im just honest. I cant be alone here. Loooord help me. 1
Author Notsolucky25 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 How is your weight? Do you work out? Yap. Like i said i go to the gym. Im not the fittest girl but i try my best to take care of myself.
stillafool Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Do you live in a large city or a smaller town? More options in a large city than a town.
Mkn1010 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 You sound incredibly confident and, I have to say, I envy that! I just want to say that the grass is always greener and while I don't share the problems that you encounter its because I would never have the balls! People compliment my looks a lot but I don't believe them anyway. I come from an exceptionally good looking family of tall/thin European looking people where I always felt like the plain Jane or something. And just because a woman is attractive, does NOT mean she gets hit on. One of my sisters is literally a 10, and she always talks about how men NEVER come up to her/ask her out etc and I've seen that to be true. I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but I just wanted to tell you that your perseverance and confidence in approaching guys etc is something I wish I had, but I will never be able to do that. 2
Author Notsolucky25 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 Do you live in a large city or a smaller town? More options in a large city than a town. Ive lived in both and never seemed to make a difference. Other women have no problem getting men. Who knows
Author Notsolucky25 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 Have you tried online dating? I have. Unfourtantely with online dating i got 0 hits on many sites. Men dont want to even give me a chance to make up for my face or redeem myself to see if they like my personality at all..dont think they even read my info just see the pic and whoop! Next lol!!
curiouslysearching Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Ive lived in both and never seemed to make a difference. Other women have no problem getting men. Who knows This seems odd....isn't the old saying that there is SOMEONE for everyone. Does this date back to your High School days??? Did you go to college? If so, what was it like socially?
Lilyana76 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I find this hard to believe... could you be getting hit on and not getting it? or doing or saying something to them to put them off right away? I'm not the most attractive woman in the world.. in fact I don't think I'm attractive at all, but I get hit on a lot. But I've been told I have an very open personality, and I'm not shy so I have no issues carrying a conversation or breaking the ice with new people. Are you shy? Are you too brass and blunt? I have a feeling its not your looks.. something you are putting out there is being received badly is my guess.
Miss Spider Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I have a feeling it's not your looks, either. It seems impossible for it to be that. 1
Author Notsolucky25 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 I have a feeling it's not your looks, either. It seems impossible for it to be that. People keep saying that but if at 26 and never had a man even simply come up to you or say hi, hold a door open, smile back, like facebook photos, connect on online dating sites, never ask for my number, never been told i look good or anything. I kind of pride myself on being social and being friends with a good range of people. How can it be my personality if guys dont even hear me talk or give me a chance to scare them away, lmao. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Without knowing you it's hard to give you meaningful insight here. At first blush I too wondered if you had been hit on but didn't recognize it as such but then you were more specific that you were looking for even having a door opened for you or a man smile at you. You say you are a social person so does that mean you have close female friends? Have you asked any of them for insight? There has to be a reason. unfortunately, it's not something that can be accurately addressed over the internet. Would you consider signing up for a class such as Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People? It's more of a business thing but may give you some insight. 1
Kisskiss56 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Do you have any hobbies? Also what type of man do you want? Some people can have high standards such as guys with 6 packs etc and not settle for less. Even if you find yourself "unattractive" im sure that has to someone out there for you. I have a friend who like pokemon, world of warcraft, dungeon and dragons etc. And she is happily in a long term relationship. I think it would help to join a club of some sort. 1
Kisskiss56 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 I hate to admit, but I think clubs and bars are typically for those who are just looking for the hottest thing they can get. Id stay away from those places. 2
viatori patuit Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Whom do you seek? Is it a hot guy with a great body and lots of personality? When I tried dating girls like that at 26 it wasn't that different. I got shot down more often than not. It is a function of the size of the pool in which I was fishing. It was not that there was anything wrong with me I was just chasing immature and shallow selfish brats. Now that I am 46 they beat a path to. My door, and I get to be discriminating. Perhaps try going to things you like and speaking with the men there. I highly doubt you are "ugly" or unattractive. I suspect you will see more success when you spend more time in a productive environment. Ps. Weight is a bigger deal than looks for most. 1
preraph Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 I think working side by side with someone or having a hobby that brings you in repeated contact with someone so that they can get to know you is your best bet. Normally, I'd say you're fishing out of your league, but it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you're doing everything right. I guess I would just be sure that you are occasionally showing some cleavage, which seems to hypnotize men. Not at work though. Or not much at work anyway. Or if not cleavage, whatever your best asset is, get it out there. Be sure you're dressing feminine not masculine, v necks, pretty fabrics, etc. I know lots of above average looking women who rarely ever got hit on. Like the other poster said, at the bars, my experience was all the men were looking at the two hottest looking women.
Miss Spider Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 (edited) I agree with the others who say avoid clubs and bars and do activities more geared towards similar interests Edited April 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Shining One Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 My experience with clubs (in my twenties) seems to be a bit different from many others in this thread. The "less attractive", aggressive women seemed to do fairly well. I've taken a few home myself. Now, the "less attractive", passive women appeared to be wallflowers most of the time. OP, have you ever tried taking a man by the hand and pulling him onto the dance floor? If so, what sort of reaction did you get. 1
elaine567 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Simply put, im not attractive. Im just not. Ive never been told im pretty or hit on or asked out. Men my age deny me constantly. When im sublte, when i lay it on thick, when i dont try at all, when i do...doesnt matter its always a laugh or "im taken" then i see them hit on my friend. Thats okay, i can accept im not good looking but god i do everything to try and make up for it. I get my hair done, top of line make up, cute clothes, good job, make sure i smell like f**king sunshine and roses.. and love going out dancing, dinner, concerts, watching football, the gym, once in a while church..so im surrounded by men and yet No man has EVER hit on me, tried to talk to me, asked me out..Even in a bar full of drunken idiots i still get the hand. Im well put together, never sloppy or slutty. I have came on to men before or asked them to dance, how they are, if they need a drink, would like to hangout sometime and its always a no or just a look or they shake their head and turn away..i try. At this point i just want sex even, like i know im ugly i even leave before you wake up God even a smile would make my world or a guy holding the door open for me would seriously make me so happy. I feel like im the only woman that gets this treatment, anyone else? I have a good amount of confidence, im just honest. I cant be alone here. Loooord help me. In the first instance, I guess you are not "approachable". Men will approach when they feel they have a good chance of being successful. If they feel you are going to turn them down for whatever reason, then they will stay clear. It can be nothing to do with how objectively attractive you are. Sometimes very attractive women can be left alone whilst the guys pitch at the "easier" less attractive ones. Men like to think they choose the hottest and best looking girls, but time and again they take the easy way out and go for the girls they think they have the best chance with. In the second instance, if men are turning away from you and turning you down when you ask them to hang out, then your approach is not appropriate in some way. Either you are pitching well above your own level of attractiveness or you are saying the wrong things, not picking up on subtle clues or just lack essential charm. If you dress well and are fit and healthy, then I guess you are most likely "socially awkward" in some way, you are giving off all the wrong vibes. Your pics on OLD are maybe even giving off the wrong vibes too. If you have a good job then I would recommend you spend some money and go see a dating coach. 1
CptInsano Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Do you get any feedback from your friends? I have known a woman who wasn't ugly, but her normal facial expression was one of discontent. Saying that she looked arrogant would be a bit of an understatement. She didn't flirt much either, because she didn't know how to. But she was a really sweet person who cares deeply for other people. She just looked the complete opposite. Sometimes these seemingly little things can have a huge impact, but it's really hard to tell from afar. Men not smiling at you might indicate that they are picking up the completely wrong vibes. 2
GunslingerRoland Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 It seems odd to me, people seem really cold towards you, beyond just not having attraction. I don't know if it's RBF like other's have suggested, or something else that makes you seem very intimidating. But I can't imagine a well dressed, well groomed woman, in okay shape, even if not attractive would get this kind of reaction based on looks. 4
RecentChange Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 People keep saying that but if at 26 and never had a man even simply come up to you or say hi, hold a door open, smile back, like facebook photos, connect on online dating sites, never ask for my number, never been told i look good or anything. I kind of pride myself on being social and being friends with a good range of people. How can it be my personality if guys dont even hear me talk or give me a chance to scare them away, lmao. Do you have any male friends? If not, why not?
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