connormo Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 It's happened to me 90% of the time. I typically meet girls online. My buddy says it always happens to him to- anyone else? Is there a reason for it? I used to give girls another chance after flaking once- and ive even made it clear on some of my profiles or through messages that i dont deal with flakers- but lately if they cancel once i say f**k it and stop the effort there. I'm done making all of the effort and asking girls out to constantly be flaked lol maybe I have high expectations but the only girl I've had feelings for flew across the country to meet me so maybe that influences it lol.
Miss Spider Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 You shouldn't put that on profile or messages. It won't stop them and sounds a bit bitter. Kind of like when women put "Don't message me if you're a player or you only want sex". Don't advertise women tend to flake on you. Just my womanly opinion. I never cancel first dates unless emergencies 5
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I've never had a lady flake once the time and place was set. Did you actually set a time and place? Are you in high school? 1
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I am a woman. I only ever flaked on a 1st date once. I was 19. I said yes because I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings by saying no but I wasn't mature enough to say what I meant. He kind of figured it out & the date never happened. To this day . . . many years later . . . I still feel bad about hurting his feelings So to answer your Q.. . . quality people who are genuinely interested in dating you do not flake. Get off OLD & meet women in real life. The flaking is less likely to happen. 2
Mkn1010 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Yes agree with the above, I don't flake either. And now I've quit online dating again so I can avoid those players Cookiesandough is talking about
Lilyana76 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I have never cancelled a first date. I don't plan on ever doing that. I think you need to be more selective about who you are trying to go out with.
SevenCity Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I've been stood up once and cancelled one once and a bunch of other flakes who agreed to go out but stopped responding when I set the date. I've had more show up than not for what it's worth Give some more details on what the messages were and how they canceled. It could be something you are doing. And as stated, don't put anything in your profile. It will just make you seem bitter and won't help anyway.
palmsand Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Very rarely flaked on if a definite time and date are agreed to. Not sure if it counts but if they agree to meet you but say, "I'm pretty busy saturday, get back to you", then don't, that's way more common.
act00 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 I can't say I've flaked when a day, time, and place is settled. Now if no time or place is settled, particularly if the guy goes silent, I assume there are no plans. I wouldn't call that flaking, however.
Kitchen Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Rarely if ever do I get flaked on. What are your convos leading up to the date? How old are you? What kind of dates do you plan?
Jammer25 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Never been flaked on either. I make sure to propose and set a specific day, time and place. I also think when you get to your late-20s and beyond, the women on OLD are less flaky. Still case by case for sure, as far as reading her interest and if she stays in touch as the meet-up approaches. Still, you have to expect that people on OLD don't "owe" you anything. It comes with the pseudo-anonymity of OLD and not having to face the consequence of flaking.
5x5 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 It's happened to me 90% of the time. I typically meet girls online. My buddy says it always happens to him to- anyone else? Is there a reason for it? I used to give girls another chance after flaking once- and ive even made it clear on some of my profiles or through messages that i dont deal with flakers- but lately if they cancel once i say f**k it and stop the effort there. I'm done making all of the effort and asking girls out to constantly be flaked lol maybe I have high expectations but the only girl I've had feelings for flew across the country to meet me so maybe that influences it lol. If it happens to you 90% of the time, it is self evident that women don't always cancel first dates. Like most of the others who have responded to your post so far, I have never experienced any woman cancelling a first date and have likewise never cancelled a first date either. Considering the fact that this apparently happens to your buddy all of the time and happens to you 90% of the time. It is fair to say that this isn't an issue of unforeseen scheduling problems. So in this instance you would do well to look at what you (and your buddy) are doing wrong, how you behave and how you come across to your first date suitors. So in trying to figure out where it's going wrong for you, can you share with us what you do to establish these cancelled dates? What do you say to these women before these cancelled dates? How much lead time is involved between asking and cancellation? Plus can you also explain all of the differences between the 90% cancellations and the 10% of dates that aren't cancelled?
TheTraveler Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 It's happened to me 90% of the time. I typically meet girls online. My buddy says it always happens to him to- anyone else? Is there a reason for it? I used to give girls another chance after flaking once- and ive even made it clear on some of my profiles or through messages that i dont deal with flakers- but lately if they cancel once i say f**k it and stop the effort there. I'm done making all of the effort and asking girls out to constantly be flaked lol maybe I have high expectations but the only girl I've had feelings for flew across the country to meet me so maybe that influences it lol. You've been cancelled on 90% of the time? There is clearly something you're doing WRONG. I don't know what you're saying/doing, but clearly it needs to change. You are the problem I've never been cancelled on. 2
reeseyummy Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 I never flaked on a 1st date from a guy I met online. The only time was when I was 19, and the guy asked me to go to his place for "movies". I was too shy to say no, even though I knew it was not safe. I ended up having my guy friend answer my cell for me when he called to ask why I didn't show up. I received a very rude message afterwards from him, and never spoke to him since. I admit what I did was really rude, so I never did it again. 1
Larryville Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 I am a woman. I only ever flaked on a 1st date once. I've never had a lady flake once the time and place was set. Did you actually set a time and place? Are you in high school? I only had one woman flake in all the years of OLD and that was when OLD was not quite established as it is today. This was back in the 90's when OLD was still kinda taboo. If a woman flakes on you… and women in general keeps flaking on you… it’s you. quality people who are genuinely interested in dating you do not flake.
ShyLove Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Given the fact that I have many guy friends with the same issue and the fact that I also see things about avoiding flakey behaviors in profiles, it's def not just you experiencing this. I can actually be honest and say I have cancelled first dates as well, even when a time and date were set. Mostly bc as I thought about it, my interest wasn't high enough to go out of my way to neglect some work and drive in major traffic and then fight for parking for someone I wasn't that into. I used to just accept dates for the heck of it. Now I only accept dates with ppl I'm kind of excited about. Take their ages into consideration too. A lot of My 20 something friends are online mostly for attention and never intend on going on dates but to just chat while they are at work or in between class :/ I hope this helps at least some.
MoreThanThat Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Perhaps it might be useful to look at how this can get changed? Maybe share at what point you ask someone out and what you do after the date is actually set up. Then we can make suggestions on how you might be able to change what you're doing.
Author connormo Posted April 11, 2017 Author Posted April 11, 2017 Thanks for the replies. Majority of people seem to not be having this problem- so maybe I'm just awful lmao. Most seem older though so maybe that has something to do with it. And to the ladies who don't cancel- you da real MVP My typical procedure is getting to know them for a bit and then eventually asking them what their ideal first date is. If it sounds appealing I ask if they'd like to do it (on a day that they are free) If I don't like their idea or they respond "idk" I suggest something on a given date. Sometimes they will say sure I'm free, other times they suggest other dates. But my problem is when we AGREE on a time and place, and they either back out that day with some recurrent excuse or they just disappear off the face of the earth after plans have been proposed. No, I don't put stuff like "tired of flakers" on my profile- although I am a bitter mofo i only bring it up to a person who actually DOES flake on me. Lately I haven't even done that though I just drop them and move onto the next one who actually IS (or seems at the time) interested. As someone said they do know alot of people who are on OLD for attention and they have flaked because of not high enough interest- perhaps these are the kinds of girls I keep running into for whatever reason. This seems to be a recurrent case for me-i literally have tens, maybe even close to a hundred numbers of girls who I have gotten to know (and most likely asked out if I got their number) who have all disappeared on me- perhaps that's the current generation of dating for me considering the vast competition the tinder age has to offer. Or, as I stated at the start of the post, perhaps I'm just awful. That's for YOU to decide. (Hint: it's the latter) 1
Author connormo Posted April 11, 2017 Author Posted April 11, 2017 Oh and someone mentioned the fact that sometimes girls will "let you know" if a time works. That happened to me this past weekend. She invited me to her friends bday in the city but I was busy so said maybe I can do something the next night. She said she'd let me know and I haven't heard a response back yet. ^Just as an example. 1
Titanll Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 You're screwed if you have a 90% first date cancellation rate! Are you sending penis pics? 5
Lilyana76 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 You're screwed if you have a 90% first date cancellation rate! Are you sending penis pics? LMAO!! thanks for that.. i just spit my coffee across my desk
Titanll Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 LMAO!! thanks for that.. i just spit my coffee across my desk Haha! Inside joke for us, huh???
Lilyana76 Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Unless you have the most photogenic penis in the world (like Titanll) i would not suggest this approach... It seems pretty common with OLD, the flakes, and it seems you have run into your fair share. Trust me not all are like this. Don't give up. 1
Author connormo Posted April 12, 2017 Author Posted April 12, 2017 You're screwed if you have a 90% first date cancellation rate! Are you sending penis pics? I prefer the terms Phallus portrait Cockshot Chodak (chode x kodak) Chodagraph Knobsnap Schlongmug And no I do not send them 2
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