DacaInaru Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 ok.. im just musing here and curious.. say you meet someone that you click with on a level of 1. understanding 2. similarities 3. like/dislikes but.. you dont feel a "Spark" or "Click" with that person on a physical level.. my question is.. will spending more time with someone allow you to develop that click? and can you fall in love with this person eventually? in other word girl/boy meets ideal girl/boy but doesn't feel that spark.. does that spark take time to develop? been having this conversation with a friend of mines and we disagree..lol so curious on the concensus
fundamental Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 1. will spending more time with someone allow you to develop that click? 2. and can you fall in love with this person eventually? 3. in other word girl/boy meets ideal girl/boy but doesn't feel that spark.. does that spark take time to develop? 1. NO 2. NO (Maybe love the person, but not "in love") 3. NO it doesnt take time to develop.
SoftDrink Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 1. maybe 2. maybe 3. maybe lots of people are friends before they get together.
Zaira Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 Sometimes there is a spark and sometimes there is just a great desire to get to know someone better, and it eventually ignites a spark. If you don't feel any desire to see the person again, then I wouldn't waste your time.
l2hvn Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 for me, if there aren't any sparks on day 1, im most likely going to categorize him into my friends category.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 I'd go with softdrink.... cue song: "quizas, quizas, quizas". For me the spark has sometimes come straight away, sometimes after time. Sometimes they're a definite no though. If you're not sure, make friends - you get a new friend, experience with the opposite sex's mindset and you learn in what circumstances the spark *can* develop. Also, check out the recent thread on sparks vs longer term attraction. The spark is pretty much a religion in our culture, but matters a lot less than you'd think.
JS17 Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 i would agree with everyone else, NO. i do have one story to share though....there was a guy who was really ugly but was friends with my guy friends in college. so in the course of everyone hanging out, parties and the likes, i got to know this guy and he was awesome. he was such a cool guy that i developed a crush on him. don't know if it would have worked out cause i never told him but i did end up developing a crush on someone i felt absolutely nothing for when we met.
Marshbear Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 i would agree with everyone else, NO. i do have one story to share though....there was a guy who was really ugly but was friends with my guy friends in college. so in the course of everyone hanging out, parties and the likes, i got to know this guy and he was awesome. he was such a cool guy that i developed a crush on him. don't know if it would have worked out cause i never told him but i did end up developing a crush on someone i felt absolutely nothing for when we met. Be careful JS. You'll give all the "nice" guys hope.....
JS17 Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear Be careful JS. You'll give all the "nice" guys hope..... oh, he wasn't a nice guy. don't worry. i'm starting to think there's no such thing. but i'm not bitter or anything
Author DacaInaru Posted July 30, 2005 Author Posted July 30, 2005 well if you guys read my comical dating post.. you'll see that the spark definately won't be developing in this one..lol..
very-confused-girl Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 I have to disagree with everybody here. I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago. My type of a guy is a boyish looking guy with brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin. My boyfriend is typical Australian, he has fair skin with frackles, light brown hair with a bit of ginger amongst it and since he is 36, he is not boyish looking, he is a man. Guess what? I did not feel physically attracted to him in the beginning at all. But we clicked well on the mental level plus he was really charming. I was very unhappy about not feeling much attraction to him. Over the time, basically after 2 months, I started to be attracted to him physically very much especially because of the great sex we had - he is really good in bed and I eventually fell in love with him. Nowadays, he is the most attractive guy for me, he completely converted my type of a guy. When I meet Italian olive-skinned Italian guys, it does nothing for me, but I have become absolutely obsessed with these "viking-type of man" with Irish blood. In my world, spark CAN develop gradually and I am the proof of that.
miss-gonewest Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by DacaInaru well if you guys read my comical dating post.. you'll see that the spark definately won't be developing in this one..lol.. I just read that post.... goodness girl, I am so glad you saw his true colours early on - spark or no spark!!! I do appreciate your question though, I believe the spark can definitely develop. You hear stories all the time about people falling for colleagues, friends or acquaintances. Not everyone is so lucky to be struck by lightening on the first encounter. I think if there is interest in a person, than a spark can develop. If you know outright that personality wise, you aren't compatible, then I don't think there will ever be a spark. HOWEVER, I went on two great dates with a guy a few weeks ago (and he was the keen one), only to be sent a message saying, "I think you are a great person, I guess we just didn't click romantically". Now this baffled me - I couldn't work out if I was meant to get hot n heavy after two dates, or if he just knew that we wouldn't work. This made me ask the same question as you? How soon do you know if there is a spark? Funnily enough, this morning in my inbox was an email saying he'd still like to be friends because he enjoyed my company. What??? We met on a dating site - I just figured it would be all about the spark? Not sure how to respond...?
purple21 Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 well - from my experience it didn't work and wasted a lot of my time - but i guess that isn't always the case - give it a chance if u want but don't wait too long I wasted 6 years with a man who i was great friends with but the spark wasn't there - we are still friends a year after the break up but i'm sorta pissed i wasted so much time - we both kept thinking things would get better in the sparks dept but it didn't - i think we stayed together so long because we got along so well and were great friends now i know i want that spark along with the friendship - in the meantime i've found some sparks but nothing more - blah - someday hopefully
Zaira Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by very-confused-girl My boyfriend is typical Australian, he has fair skin with frackles, light brown hair with a bit of ginger amongst it and since he is 36, he is not boyish looking, he is a man. He doesn't sound typically Australian at all. Moreso English or Scottish.
Mr.pos Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Usually there is a spark at the beginning but I don't know if u can develope that.
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