DMVeep Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I have been on 5 dates with a woman A over the past several weeks. We haven't had sex but things have gotten progressively more intimate, with the last date ending with some manual stimulation. After that, we were talking and I learned that we have opposing political views, her being a Republican. I'm not really a political person, but almost all of my close friends are very liberal, and I tend to lean left on most issues. It's hard for me to imagine her hanging out with my friends, which is important to me. It definitely makes me think we probably aren't compatible. That being said, we seem to be getting along pretty well up to this point, and I can't help but be distracted by strong physical attraction. We haven't had an exclusivity talk at all. I have a second date scheduled with another woman B tonight. It was scheduled a while back since she was going to be out of town. I feel kind of conflicted about going out with another woman at this point even though my gut feeling is is things won't work out with woman A. Is it wrong to keep exploring other options at this point?
reeseyummy Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 You're not exclusive, so I would say just go for it.
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Is it wrong to keep exploring other options at this point? This is very personal to everyone. Personally I gave myself 3 dates to decide if I pursued a relationship or not. I felt it was misleading to go on more than 3 dates if my interest wasn't there. If you feel bad than it's because you are breaking your own moral code. Before assuming this republican lady isn't compatible with you just have a conversation with her. Not all republicans are ultra conservative. 2
PegNosePete Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Yeah, you're feeling bad because deep down you know you're leading woman A on. If she'd made it clear she's only looking for casual dating then there wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't need to post here. But the fact that you're feeling conflicted suggests that, despite not having had a conversation, you feel she wouldn't be happy with you dating others. 90% of human communication is non-verbal, after all. Sure you can "rules lawyer" yourself out of it, by saying you never had an exclusivity conversation, made no commitment, and you're free to do as you please. But if she has feelings, and you led her along, then she's going to get hurt by your actions - intentional or not. Even if you can hold your hands up and say "No exclusivity talk! No foul!", that will be of little comfort to her, and you'll still get dumped. Also you may have issues if woman B finds out you're messing around with woman A. If I were on a 3rd date with someone, and found out they were on their 6th date with someone else and had been doing "manual stimulation", then I wouldn't want to see them again. Talk or no talk. I agree with Gaeta. When multi-dating, 3 dates is enough to decide whether you want to pursue a relationship or concentrate on your other options. 5
Ieris Posted April 11, 2017 Posted April 11, 2017 Let woman A know that it isn't going to work so you don't waste anymore of her time. 3
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